Ranting, or could this day get any WORSE?

Okay…I know some people hate these kinds of threads, so if you don’t want to hear me bitch, leave now. :slight_smile:

Today has royally sucked. First off, I’m at work, and SUDDENLY my idiot client from the government wants a miracle to occur by noon tomorrow. With the way the data works, to get this done will require me to work until 10 tonight, and ALSO miss the training I was supposed to attend tomorrow morning. Which is all well and good, since that means less time I have to take as vacation for Christmas, but I was kind of hoping to get home around 6 tonight. PLUS, the lead on the project decided to skip work today because she had a fight with another co-worker. And she’s not answering voicemail. REAL professional. ARGH! I HATE THIS JOB! Which is why I’m looking for a new one…

Moving on. (YES, there’s more.) I have this friend Jeanne. She’s older than me, and has apparently taken me on as her project of the week. Which was fine for a while, but it’s moved from encouraging to annoying. She’s decided to help me get a date, and has EXTENSIVELY instructed me on how to do so. Her qualifications? She’s dated over 300 guys before marrying someone who looks like Tom Cruise. Now, I agree I need to be more outgoing, and look at guys when I talk to them. But NEVER paying for a date? Even if I ask? Um, no. Not being allowed to like sports, or discuss them? Once again, no.

So today…she and I are discussing her latest ideas. I need to improve my “self-talk.” So I need to have goals taped to my mirror than I can see when I wake up. Okay…not a problem. I send her what I had. She completely slams it. My goal weight is too heavy for my frame. Okay…since when was 165 too heavy for someone who’s 5’7"? I should be at 140, according to her. (Which I haven’t been since I was in middle school…and I’d have to STARVE to get there.) Next up…why exercise so much. And all my physical ailments that I can’t control? (Like oh, say…a thyroid disorder??? Arthritis???) Those count too. When I told her I couldn’t control them, I got the huffy “Stop that crap right now. I truly mean it…this is rather a lot of time of mine, and frankly if all you are going to do is undermine yourself with “I can’t control it, nothing I can do”, etc., then I have a lot of other and better things to be doing.” I’m sorry…I don’t believe in the power of mind over illness. I know what controls my illnesses, and I do everything I can to keep myself healthy. Aside from that, I don’t have control. I just got her version back, and I don’t know what to even say in response. I’m too tired and too stressed to have any tact left.

I’m so sick of her trying to make me over right now…and I can’t seem to tell her that. And this isn’t the first time she’s done it either. My concerns are nothing. I’m supposed to visit her in March, and right now…I no longer want to go. And this was a trip I planned months ago. But if all I’ll get is a week of this shit, why go. ARGH!!!

Anyway…I just needed to vent somewhere. Sorry to take up your time. :slight_smile:

“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.

Wow, with a friend like that, who needs enemies?

Stinky idiot clients, pulling this stuff on you. On the bright side, this is why us engineers get paid the (semi-) big bucks. All the idiot sheep think we just wave our wands and the stuff works.

No, 165 isn’t too much on 5’7". 'taint skinny, but it’s not what I’d call fat, either. And besides, you’re not going to know what you look like and how you like it until you get there. For all you know, you’ll get to that weight and decide you like yourself better at 175. It’s all up to you.

On the “getting a date” thing, never ever change your personality to impress the opposite sex. What if you succeed, and you end up marrying that person? At some point, ya gotta show 'em your real personality, sports talks, paying for dates, and all. Better that happens during the “dating” stage than the “raising two toddlers” stage. But you knew that.

{{{Falcon}}} I don’t mean to be rude, but it really sounds like this Jeanne person is NOT doing you any good. Rather than getting on your case and in your face about what you’re (supposedly) doing wrong (and things you have NO control over!), a real friend would be encouraging you on all the right (or even sorta-right) things you do. Negative “encouragement” never was…

Sorry, but this doesn’t qualify her for anything except being somewhat slutty and putting a little too much focus on outward appearances.

If you can’t tell her to back off, I’d be happy to pass it on…just give me her email address and I’m on it!

I am too in shape! :::muttering::: Round is a shape.
C’mon up and see me sometime.

Yes. You could have MarkSerling stalking you.

Buck up, Falc. We all think you rock.

Nothing like a bad decision
Says who you are.
-Gin Blossoms, “Perfectly Still”

Oh, hon, never ask if it can get worse; the universe will show you that it can! :slight_smile:

And get the FUCK away from that woman… sounds like she is doing more to damage your self-esteem and self-image than help it. Dating is a personal thing and everyone does it differently. My best advice? Don’t look at the cover, look inside. Physical looks, when you get right down to the nub, don’t mean a whole lot.

A sense of humor, quick wit, intelligence, honesty, emotional accessability… these are the things that really matter IMHO. Looks fade but stupidity and arrogance stick around FOREVER!


Falcon, if a friend is a true friend, there is no make over required. Friends take you for exactly who and what you are. I think I would tell this woman to go find herself a new project. YOU have to be happy with you, not someone with seemingly too much time on their hands.

I opened the door, and look who I found. Damn I’m good

Hey! At least part of your morning included IMing with me! :wink:

Hang in there – and lose the alleged friend. With friends like that . . . and all that.


Since when do people become their “friends” pet projects? What kind of crap is that? She doesn’t seem to think you fit her idea of an “ideal friend”. I don’t know how long you’ve known her but honestly, I think you can certainly survive without her. Put her on your ignore list pronto. Or tell her off. :slight_smile:

Man, I’d hate to think what she would do if she was your enemy.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.

Much sympathy. (throws baskets of sympathy at Falcon)

I, too, think you completely rock, Falcon. Your friend may mean well (or she may not, sounds like a bit of a control freak to me), but she’s going about it all wrong. You will, at some point, have to tell her to back the hell off and leave you alone.

“What a filthy, disgusting job.”
“Oh, I dunno. Could be worse.”
“Could be raining.”

  • cue thunder, lightning, and heavy downpour

Never tempt the Fates.

Will work for sig line.

Let’s see… you like sports and don’t mind paying on dates. This nutball doesn’t know men if she thinks this is a turnoff.

As for your weight, YOU should decide what your ideal weight should be. BTW 165 on a 5’7" frame is perfect.

If I wasn’t married, I’d be the first in line to ask you out


I basically agree with the posters above, but hopefully your friend means well. At least she’s interested - it seems it’s her manner that is irritating. (Soft-hearted? Moi?)

If necessary, why not tell her you’ve just met someone thru the Net?

Let’s see:

  • you post intelligently

  • you pay your share on dates

  • you like sports

Hey, I volunteer!

P.S. I used to be a programmer, so I know about ignorant customers who expect last-minute changes without effort.

Why doesn’t the sun come out at night when the light would be more useful? (Pratchett)

Buck up sugar, we’re on your side.
As for me, 5’7" is perfect girl height, 165 is great for tumblin’ around with. You’re fine the way you are. In a different universe I’d draw a hot sudsy tub for you, with candles and soft music, rub your feet while you soak, and then rub you to sleep after tubby time. You’d be right as rain in the AM.
Introduce your ‘friend’ to Linda Tripp; they sound two of a kind.


“Hey! How 'bout that Toe Jam?”

Oh my…I love y’all. Thanks.

Update: I am actually AT HOME. Head of my department stepped in and managed to get the client to realize we couldn’t do what they were asking. So…we have until Friday now. Which is doable. Pushing it, but doable. Thank god.

As for Jeanne…sigh I still don’t know what to do. And glee, thanks for the suggestion (and actually, I have found a guy on the net), but her attitude towards that is…“you don’t DATE long-distance. If you’re long distance, you’re getting married.” Needless to say, I don’t agree. And I won’t be telling her about net guy.

Thanks to everyone though…it’s helped me to think about my “friendship” with Jeanne. Any suggestions on how to tell her nicely I want her to butt out? Anyone?

“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.

Vestal -

You posted while I was replying…thank you. Right now I could use some alcohol, a nice bath, and someone to snuggle with. Oh well…two out of three ain’t bad. :wink:

“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.

Sorry to hear about your day, falcon. Cheer up, all that could happen and you could be trapped on a ship 150 miles out to sea for two weeks…

On second thought, I’m not looking for anyone (got GBS), am a svelte 175 on a 5’9" frame and I’m the boss. But other than that, I understand!

Smile, make 'em wonder what you’re up to.


I don’t know about the woman, doesn’t sound like such a great relationship…but as for your self-talk? She’s right. And I don’t mean that in a frookymakarooky kinda way, either…good 'ol hardass medical science itself has come around to admitting that what we think about, focus on, visualize, and believe has a profound effect on us in many ways, not the least being our actual physical health. This is not saying that your ailments are all in your head, only that the way you think and believe and talk to yourself about your physical challenges does indeed have power over your body.

She may be going off the deepend, but don’t dismiss this out of hand.


Awww…Falcon- I love you just the way you are, tell your “friend” to go find another cause- she’s only giving you stress.

Or, do like I would and tell her- POLITELY now…
“Fuck Off”

Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.

Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity

Sympathies, Falcon! You’re a sane, funny and intelligent presence here, and sound like a kind, good person as well. Hey, one thing about godawful, horrendous, kill-me-now days: they make even mediocre days look pretty good.

I join the chorus regarding your “friend”. It doesn’t matter if her advice is good or not; the issue is that tromp in with combat boots and try to muscle your life around.

You don’t have to attack her, must confront her. Look her dead in the eye and “I appreciate your concern, but this constant criticism hurts.” If she gets all control freaky on you, tell her then you assume you’re free to work intensively on her lack of tact and sensitivity.

If she gets huffy about having the tables turned, well, then she wasn’t a friend at all. (BTW, most people, myself included, infinitely prefer intelligence, humor and kindness to arrogant Martha Stewartish assumptions of perfection.) And yeah, you rock.



Take it from me, an average guy.

You are a babe!

Wanna go to a movie sometime?

I think you should insist on equal improvement time. Tell Jeane that as long as you’re working on improving yourself by her plan, she has to sign up for yours. She sounds like she needs to have her IQ jacked up a few points, so start her out on a reading program. Tell her you expect book reports and there will be a quiz.