Rants: micro to middlin'

The BBQ Pit
81

[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl]
:dubious: :rolleyes: What?! I am continuously amazed at the sheer amount of insanity that can be packed into a single person. Why the heck would he assume…? Did you…? WHAT?
[/QUOTE]
I’ve glad you got it though I left out a lot of “you had to know him and the vibes I’ve been getting” and “you had to be there” stuff for brevity.

Though we have never really talked about it, he’d begun to realize I am gay, heard the word “straight,” then put 2* and 17[sup]15[/sup]* together and came up with 4.

It takes all kinds.

  • What I’ve actually said to him.
    ** What sheer gall, ignorance, arrogance and missed meds told him was true.
82

I think you’re wholly in the wrong on this one, and I think that you’re being an officious fucker.

Yes, there is a speed limit, and you’re breaking it. Who the fuck made it up to you to decide what’s an acceptable degree of illegality and what’s not? You want to do 70, he wants to do more. Move over and let the man get on with his life, you self-important prick.

There would seem to be 2 laws at work here:
-don’t speed
-slower traffic move right

The guy behind you is breaking one of them, you’re breaking both. Does it offend your sense of self-importance to be described as ‘slower traffic’ when you’re a whole 10mph above the speed limit? After all, you’re the man, you’ve got places to be, and nobody could possibly want to go any faster, right?

If there’s no room for you to move over, or for some other reason you can’t, then the guy behind you is a prick. But if you’re ignoring a perfectly good lane because you’ve taken it upon yourself to enforce break-the-law-only-as-much-as-I-do, then fuck you with a gearstick.

pdts

[QUOTE=VunderBob]
I’m driving home from work and I’m doing 70 in the left lane when the road is marked for 60. A big honkin’ pickup truck comes flying up behind me, and he has a sign on his grill, in reverse lettering so the message looks correct on my mirror: “Slower Traffic Move Right”.

You self-important piece of dog shit. I’m speeding already, and you’re in such a fucking hurry that you need to put a sign on your redneckmobile that I should kiss your ass and get out of your way?

Choke on it, buster. Unless you got emergency lights and a siren, I’m not moving over. I hope when you get stopped for 20+ over the limit, making it reckless driving, the trooper with the ticket book sees that and hauls your ass in to jail for felonious fucknuttery, too.
[/QUOTE]

83

I like that 3 piece suits are coming back. But why do we have to have the pants so low-rise that you see them under the vest?

84

Oh how I love stupid computer users:

  1. When I ask you what kind of file you’re trying to open, “untitled document” is not on the list of acceptable answers. Try Word, pdf, notepad, text, or variations on that theme.

  2. When I go to the computer and see that the file you’re trying to open has the “this computer doesn’t have this program icon” and you move the folder window to show that the file the computer was searching for is Microsoft Works, don’t tell me you saved it as a Word file. No you didn’t, otherwise it would have opened.

  3. Don’t argue with me when I tell you this computer doesn’t have Works on it. I don’t care if you think you’re right. If you were right your file would have opened.

  4. I don’t care if you were able to view it last night. That was last night and you were obviously on a computer with Works on it. That computer, by the way, is obviously not the one you’re sitting at right now.

85

Dear Landlord:

When serving me official notices, do not backdate them. Today is May 3, not April 22, and it is in fact less than 30 days from June 1. You just bought the building in March and this is already the second time you’ve backdated documents. You do know that’s illegal, right?

86

I decided to try to be good with my mid-afternoon, mid-paper-writing snack. Instead of Mountain Dew and jalapeno-flavored chips, I got a diet pepsi and a little thing of veggies with ranch dressing.

Eating healthy stuff is totally and completely unsatisfying. :mad:

87

[QUOTE=Tikki]
A nearby boutique is gearing up for Mother’s Day. In their window, alongside a display of baubles that might appeal to dear old Mom is a framed placard that reads:

If Mama isn’t happy, nobodies happy.

Yes, the underlining is theirs. :rolleyes: <snip>
[/QUOTE]

I’m not sure what you’re saying here - that the underlining is the only problem?

I have a nitpick for you, put down the sabre - the convention on the Dope is to put the quoted material at the top and the response to it underneath. Not saying you have to, it just makes it easier to follow the flow when everyone is quoting the same.

88

Listen, you giggling incompetent twerp who just informed me of my raise:

I don’t appreciate your keeping me in the dark about what it was that you wanted to see me about, then sitting back to watch my expression, and then asking “were you worried it was something bad?” Nothing in itself, except (1) I know that you’re nothing more than a glorified messenger boy and had nothing to do with the decision, and (2) this is the latest in a string of passive aggressive snarks from you. And (3), the reason that everyone seems afraid of you is not because you’re a hardass, but because nobody can ever figure out what the fuck you want, even, nay especially after you start screaming at them for not preemptively reading your fucking mind and catering to your half baked whims the day before yesterday, and (4) disparaging my experience doesn’t do a hell of a lot for me when I know that you couldn’t get a job at the companies I’ve worked for, and you wouldn’t have a prayer of being accepted into the degree program I attended.

So thanks for the raise, and fuck you very much.

89

[QUOTE=featherlou]
I’m not sure what you’re saying here - that the underlining is the only problem?
[/QUOTE]
I think he’s pointing out that not only do they have an atrocious piece of usage in their sign, but that they have actually drawn attention to it by underlining.

90

[QUOTE=mhendo]
I think he’s pointing out that not only do they have an atrocious piece of usage in their sign, but that they have actually drawn attention to it by underlining.
[/QUOTE]

Glad you could make it all out. I got stuck on that “gearstick” thing. As some one pointed out to me the other day, if your trying to mock someone or make a smart remark, always good to have your own shit together. Less chance of looking like a jackass.

91

[QUOTE=featherlou]
I’m not sure what you’re saying here - that the underlining is the only problem?

I have a nitpick for you, put down the sabre - the convention on the Dope is to put the quoted material at the top and the response to it underneath. Not saying you have to, it just makes it easier to follow the flow when everyone is quoting the same.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve noticed one other longtime poster who does this and it drives me far enough up the wall to guzzle a full jeroboam of high end champagne!

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Glad you could make it all out. I got stuck on that “gearstick” thing. As some one pointed out to me the other day, if your trying to mock someone or make a smart remark, always good to have your own shit together. Less chance of looking like a jackass.
[/QUOTE]
What happened? Was someone benig an ass-muffler?

92

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Glad you could make it all out. I got stuck on that “gearstick” thing. As some one pointed out to me the other day, if your trying to mock someone or make a smart remark, always good to have your own shit together. Less chance of looking like a jackass.
[/QUOTE]

Indeed … “you’re”?

pdts

93

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
Indeed … “you’re”?

pdts
[/QUOTE]

Well thanks for correcting my grammar. Same kind of mistake I made the other day. The word you were searching for was gearshift. I guess that means you felt I was mocking you. Be sure, if I cared to, I would just come right out and say it. I was refering to myself as a jackass. But it seems you already know all about the jackass thing so we don’t need to get into that. By the way, welcome to the Dope. Hope you stick around a while, you sound like a real pistol.

94

[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]
I’ve noticed one other longtime poster who does this and it drives me far enough up the wall to guzzle a full jeroboam of high end champagne!

What happened? Was someone benig an ass-muffler?
[/QUOTE]

You’ve got to be pulling my leg. Benig? When I want to mock some about auto parts I use muffler bearing or spark plugs for a diesel.

95

[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
400 miles to work a week? My mind is boggling.
[/QUOTE]

I used to do this. 40 miles on the highway, twice a day, five times a week.

I lived near the highway, and worked near the highway. Took me just about 35 minutes to get from home to work, I think. The commute was my favorite part of the day - alone in the car with my thoughts and some music.

96

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Well thanks for correcting my grammar. Same kind of mistake I made the other day. The word you were searching for was gearshift.
[/QUOTE]

Incorrect. In British (and maybe other global) English, that thing in the front of a car is known as a gearstick.

American English != All English, please don’t ‘correct’ me without checking first.

Parochial moron.

pdts

97

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
American English != All English, please don’t ‘correct’ me without checking first.
[/QUOTE]

Tsk. Comma splice.

98

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
Incorrect. In British (and maybe other global) English, that thing in the front of a car is known as a gearstick.

American English != All English, please don’t ‘correct’ me without checking first.

Parochial moron.

pdts
[/QUOTE]

Well excuse me, your Royal Highness! As this is a U.S. based website I’ll just go ahead and take the upper hand. That thing in the front of a car we Americans call a bumper.Behind that is the hood, or what you would call a bonnet, and behind that is what we call a windshield or what you might call a windscreen. The gearstick or gearshift resides in the middle of the car, where you might also notice the driver, who might sit to the right or the left of it, as the case may be. Oh, and by the way, I imagine it wouldn’t take much more than a flick of the wrist to correct a snob like yourself.

You have yourself a fine evening now.

99

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
You’ve got to be pulling my leg. Benig? When I want to mock some about auto parts I use muffler bearing or spark plugs for a diesel.
[/QUOTE]
I was kidding around, but it seems you might be taking out some anger due to pdts’ responses.

It’s okay.

100

[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]
I was kidding around, but it seems you might be taking out some anger due to pdts’ responses.

It’s okay.
[/QUOTE]

Oh please! I figured you were, you’re one of the good guys around here. This joker is of no more annoyance than a fly buzzing your head. It will go away eventually, when it finds a pile of crap to land on. And you know flies eat shit right? :smiley:

See man! I kill me !