Rants: micro to middlin'

The BBQ Pit
101

Speaking of cars:

Dear Tire Store Guy: Your line “I’m an honest guy” sounds nice - if I didn’t hear you tell that to everyone who walked in the door. When I tell you I want four P185’s with no more than 50,000 mile warranty, don’t say “Wow, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!” with a look of amazement on your mug. The grease and dirt on me are from changing the oil and replacing the front brake pads before I came into your store. I know you’re supposed to upsell me, but why would I want to put a set of $700 tires on a car worth $1000?
(His attitude changed when he asked my name - are you Bob’s kid? Sure am. Dad used to supply their store, and made sure my sister and I knew what the hell we were talking about)

Heh, speaking of my sister: Woman, take care of your bidness. You bring me a pile of printouts about student loan forgiveness - I read through them - sorry, you don’t qualify. Don’t bitch at me about it, thems the rules. Here’s the phone number, call and ask what you may qualify for. “But I’ll get all pissed off and give up. YOU call for me” Uh, no. “You don’t care - mom and dad paid off your loans” Uh, they paid off ONE. I had scholarships and paid off the rest myself. And if you want to play THAT game, I did what Mom and Dad told me- go to school first, get married after you graduate and we’ll help you. YOU chose to get married right out of high school. “Mom said she’d call for me” WOMAN! You’re 47! And you want our Mommy to call for you? Ugh.

102

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]

Parochial moron.

pdts
[/QUOTE]

So says somebody with an affinity for goats and living under bridges.

103

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Well excuse me, your Royal Highness!
[/QUOTE]

Oh I get it, it’s because I’m British and we have a monarchy! Funny stuff.

[QUOTE=Omegaman]

As this is a U.S. based website I’ll just go ahead and take the upper hand. That thing in the front of a car we Americans call a bumper.Behind that is the hood, or what you would call a bonnet, and behind that is what we call a windshield or what you might call a windscreen. The gearstick or gearshift resides in the middle of the car, where you might also notice the driver, who might sit to the right or the left of it, as the case may be.

[/quote]

Thank you, but I’m more than familiar with American automotive terms.

[QUOTE=Omegaman]

Oh, and by the way, I imagine it wouldn’t take much more than a flick of the wrist to correct a snob like yourself.

[/quote]

INTERNET TOUGH GUY ALERT.

[QUOTE=Omegaman]

You have yourself a fine evening now.
[/QUOTE]

Thank you, I did. Turns out American girls swallow.

Let’s just get this straight. I was arguing with someone else. Used the term ‘gearstick’, which is perfectly acceptable in my dialect of English, which is not an obscure one. You don’t recognise the term, and call me out on my ‘error’. Since you are obviously a noted stylist, I point out your grammatical slip. I point out that you’re talking through your arse on the ‘gearstick’ front. You lash out and call me a snob.

Note that it was you who took it upon yourself to ‘correct’ my language first, despite being in the wrong. And you call me the snob?

You’re quite the man.

pdts

104

[QUOTE=VunderBob]
So says somebody with an affinity for goats and living under bridges.
[/QUOTE]

I don’t get it–this is either a particular reference to something about me, in which case it may be clever, or a somewhat crap generic insult.

pdts

105

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
I don’t get it–this is either a particular reference to something about me, in which case it may be clever, or a somewhat crap generic insult.

pdts
[/QUOTE]

Well I’d say he’s calling you a troll. You don’t seem like one to me, just a little more prissy than most. Could be though, you know, like the little dolls with the long hair. You know the ones, right? Pink or green hair, same little brown body.You certainly are providing me with some lively entertainment. About fell out my chair cackling. :smiley:

106

I hate when a thread gets hijacked by a pissing contest over stupid issues.

107

I hate how gun control threads always wind up filled with stupid. Some from myself.

108

Nothing to rant about this am. Was just in the backyard talking with the songbirds. Another glorious day above ground. Maybe I’ll move to France or Germany. I hear you get an extra day off there. Wouldn’t that be grand, another day of the week to pursue lifes wonderful adventures. Or just mess around on the internet and do laundry. Potatoe, potahtoe. Still, another glorious day above ground. :slight_smile:

109

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Well excuse me, your Royal Highness! As this is a U.S. based website I’ll just go ahead and take the upper hand.
[/quote]

Yes, it is maintained in the US, but like it or not it has developed into an international board, so British, Canadian, Australian, etc. words and idioms are just as correct as American ones.

110

[QUOTE=Canadjun]
Yes, it is maintained in the US, but like it or not it has developed into an international board, so British, Canadian, Australian, etc. words and idioms are just as correct as American ones.
[/QUOTE]

Oh come on! I was just having some fun with the guy. Q.E.D. pegged him as a troll in another thread. I could care less about where someone is from. Is it getting so uptight around here that even a little humor is frowned upon? I felt like he was having a little fun with me. Be sure, I recognize the truth of your words but I’ve got to tell you, after dealing with all the issues we have as a world, economies, wars, famine, etc. I just want to have a little fun with the boys like everyone else. But your right, I’m an ass for making jokes at others expense. Isn’t going to stop me from having a great day, though. Probably go wash my wifes car and see what the nieghbors are up to, at least get some fresh air and enjoy my one day off this week. Hope you’ll all do the same.

111

[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
I like that 3 piece suits are coming back. But why do we have to have the pants so low-rise that you see them under the vest?
[/QUOTE]

Ewww! That doesn’t look good at all! Are there non-lowrise pants you can get to wear with that instead? :confused:

112

[QUOTE=LurkMeister]
I hate when a thread gets hijacked by a pissing contest over stupid issues.
[/QUOTE]

Aye, I’ll pass out the buckets of hot bleach water, you pass out the mops? I’d say it’s time they mop up their mess. ETA: NM, I see one has already. Thanks!

113

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
I don’t get it–this is either a particular reference to something about me, in which case it may be clever, or a somewhat crap generic insult.

pdts
[/QUOTE]

A troll, and a easily whooshed one, too.

114

[QUOTE=Canadjun]
Yes, it is maintained in the US, but like it or not it has developed into an international board, so British, Canadian, Australian, etc. words and idioms are just as correct as American ones.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah! Put that in your bunnyhug and smoke it!

115

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Nothing to rant about this am. Was just in the backyard talking with the songbirds. Another glorious day above ground. Maybe I’ll move to France or Germany. I hear you get an extra day off there. Wouldn’t that be grand, another day of the week to pursue lifes wonderful adventures. Or just mess around on the internet and do laundry. Potatoe, potahtoe. Still, another glorious day above ground. :slight_smile:
[/QUOTE]

I know you were joking, but you probably couldn’t move: they almost certainly don’t want you. People underestimate how difficult it is to move to another country, unless you have some very specific job, or maybe want to teach English, or some other temporary shindig. Exceptions include the countries of the EU, and some traffic between the former British dominions.

More than just an extra day off. The European Working Time Directive specifies a max 48hr workweek and (I think) a month off a year. In Britain, one can opt-out in certain jobs, but that is purely optional. In France, the law is more generous- a 35hr week, maximum.

And yet the European economy is in better shape than the American one, you say? And these people with short work weeks also get free medical care, and a non-crumbling infrastructure? How odd.

pdts

116

[QUOTE=VunderBob]
A troll, and a easily whooshed one, too.
[/QUOTE]

You got me–congratulations. This must be a big moment for you.

pdts

117

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
I know you were joking, but you probably couldn’t move: they almost certainly don’t want you. People underestimate how difficult it is to move to another country, unless you have some very specific job, or maybe want to teach English, or some other temporary shindig. Exceptions include the countries of the EU, and some traffic between the former British dominions.

More than just an extra day off. The European Working Time Directive specifies a max 48hr workweek and (I think) a month off a year. In Britain, one can opt-out in certain jobs, but that is purely optional. In France, the law is more generous- a 35hr week, maximum.

And yet the European economy is in better shape than the American one, you say? And these people with short work weeks also get free medical care, and a non-crumbling infrastructure? How odd.

pdts
[/QUOTE]

Hell man, I’d never move. I’m too old to learn another language and a lot of people get snotty about you, an outsider, not speaking their language. I deal with the same thing every day with Mexican, South American and Asian people all the time. I treat them with the respect and courtesy I believe that God gave every person who lives on this earth. Some of my countrymen aren’t so kind but you and I both know you can only do what you yourself can do. Others have their own conscience to answer to and that’s the way it should be. No one is any better or any worse than anyone else, in my life the best example I have had is peoples demise. At that very moment everyone will be equal from the Pope to a prostitute and we will all see what fruits our labors bear us, if any, mind you, when we cross the threshold of death. It’s not a moment that I eagerly anticipate nor one that I fear. I’ve had a gut full of both good and bad (more-so bad) so when it arrives I will greet it like a long lost friend or relative that I’ve finally found.

As for our currect situation as a country, I haven’t voted for the fellow in office for the last three terms. Not that I’m saying it would change anything but it’s one of the things a have as a citizen to effect change in this great country of ours. I have a 20 ft flag pole in my back yard that the Stars and Stripes flys from, day and night, (lighted at night,of course) so you can be sure I’m plenty proud of my country and all the men and women in our armed forces who so dilligently serve their country even in times of great trial and tribulation. Some things are worth dying for in my humble opinion and I would give my life without any hesitation what so ever for the right reason. And just think, I’m only one man in a country of millions who I believe would do the same if called upon. Makes me think of that famous guy, Jesus. He too, was only one man, a far far better man than I could ever hope to be. Still he was just one man.

118

[QUOTE=put down the sabre]
You got me–congratulations. This must be a big moment for you.

pdts
[/QUOTE]
Then you’re really going to be proud of me.

Last time I checked, France and Germany were members of the EU, the countries Omegaman speculated about moving to and ones of a group that you said were exceptions to extra difficult expatriation requirements. And if you were talking about the EU being easier as it pertains to EU-members moving among those countries, you didn’t say that.

Cookie or gold star? I’ll take the cookie.

119

[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]
Then you’re really going to be proud of me.

Last time I checked, France and Germany were members of the EU, the countries Omegaman speculated about moving to and ones of a group that you said were exceptions to extra difficult expatriation requirements. And if you were talking about the EU being easier as it pertains to EU-members moving among those countries, you didn’t say that.

Cookie or gold star? I’ll take the cookie.
[/QUOTE]

Ah, the fresh glow of the moron, so smug when he thinks he’s got someone good.

You really think that using words like ‘pertains’ makes you sound cleverer? Did you know that people who use shorter words are seen as more intelligent, in general? People suspect that big word users lack clarity and are trying to cover it up.

You’re right that I didn’t say that I was talking about movement within the EU. But I also didn’t say I was talking about moving from without the EU. So the sentence can be read either way, and the intended reading is contextually favoured. I thought I was dealing with a people at least nominally clever enough to fill in this bit of contex. I suppose that, in your case, I was wrong. Still, better luck next time.

How about a lead cookie?

pdts

120

[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Hell man, I’d never move. I’m too old to learn another language and a lot of people get snotty about you, an outsider, not speaking their language. I deal with the same thing every day with Mexican, South American and Asian people all the time. I treat them with the respect and courtesy I believe that God gave every person who lives on this earth. Some of my countrymen aren’t so kind but you and I both know you can only do what you yourself can do. Others have their own conscience to answer to and that’s the way it should be. No one is any better or any worse than anyone else, in my life the best example I have had is peoples demise. At that very moment everyone will be equal from the Pope to a prostitute and we will all see what fruits our labors bear us, if any, mind you, when we cross the threshold of death. It’s not a moment that I eagerly anticipate nor one that I fear. I’ve had a gut full of both good and bad (more-so bad) so when it arrives I will greet it like a long lost friend or relative that I’ve finally found.

As for our currect situation as a country, I haven’t voted for the fellow in office for the last three terms. Not that I’m saying it would change anything but it’s one of the things a have as a citizen to effect change in this great country of ours. I have a 20 ft flag pole in my back yard that the Stars and Stripes flys from, day and night, (lighted at night,of course) so you can be sure I’m plenty proud of my country and all the men and women in our armed forces who so dilligently serve their country even in times of great trial and tribulation. Some things are worth dying for in my humble opinion and I would give my life without any hesitation what so ever for the right reason. And just think, I’m only one man in a country of millions who I believe would do the same if called upon. Makes me think of that famous guy, Jesus. He too, was only one man, a far far better man than I could ever hope to be. Still he was just one man.
[/QUOTE]

Is this a parody?

pdts