I came in here to rant. Maybe this thread isn’t too badly hijacked to continue.
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Buff, when are you gonna learn? Don’t fucking grab burning plastic to put it out. You will make little dying-rabbit noises and fall to the ground. You have done this several times before, in non-emergencies. And you burnt your damn lighter thumb. How appropriate. And fucking inconvenient.
Melting, burning plastic will attach itself to your skin, napalm style. Don’t napalm yourself, buff. It’s just not healthy.
See there, one of the good guys. No airs or pretention about you. Just a man. Good God, if I spot another, I do believe I’ll commence to spotting. I do pray I don’t get the vapors and collapse to the floor. I fear I might break my opera glasses again.
Man, tell me this shit isn’t cracking you up!
On the serious side, that Q.E.D. is one of the most knowledgeable persons I’ve ever seen. Hope that Sabre fellow isn’t some sort of secret operative. Nah, couldn’t be. **Vunderbob ** nailed him too and he’s just one of us regular guys. On the other hand could be I’m being a tad towards the jerkish side. I’ll bet a mod will be along in no time to sort things out. Hmmmm… better lay low for a while. Here kitty, kitty, kitty…
Why don’t you three take your pissing contest somewhere else? Some of us just want to rant about stupid little things in our lives that are bugging us.
You get to use “contextually” and I can’t use the shorter word “pertains”? That’s not fair. You also think here and in general those choices have something to do with intelligence? Well, I can see why you’d be bothered by such thoughts.
You were responding to a post that was talking about moving from outside the EU. RIF.
You might also have noticed I added a note saying I was only having fun with you. Take a cue from Omegaman and lighten up.
Sorry, folks, for the hijack.
I’m so interested in hearing the story of why you’ve had some many smoldering hot plastic, though non-emergency, moments in your life.
Tabloid newspapers such as the Daily News, NY Post, etc.: I know you think it’s cute to use pictures of UFOs, etc. when you cover stories about Tom Cruise and other Scientologists. You’re obviously playing on their wacky beliefs. But if you did some research, you’d find out that Xenu the alien is the villain, not the hero, of Scientology. Using stereotypical alien motifs in an article about famous Scientologists, even in a sarcatic fashion, would be like using Hell motifs during coverage of the Pope’s American visit.
OK I’ll stop this hijacking now (damn air marshals)… minirants:
[ol]
[li]Pretentious language. Usually among the semi-educated who want to sound hifalutin’. What grates me the most is misuse of reflexive personal pronouns, something low-level semi-professionals seem especially guilty of. Last year I was looking for a summer job, went to a temp agency. Put my CV in the pile, and the woman says “… and we’ll be in contact with yourself by telephone”. So … you’ll phone me?[/li]
[li]In a similar vein, people who try to enforce incorrect or misapplied linguistic ‘rules’. Firstly, if you understood me, isn’t that good enough? But even if you do feel compelled to intervene, make sure you know what you’re talking about… several times now I’ve been assailed by people who ‘know’ that you don’t end a sentence with a preposition, or that the plural of ‘penis’ is ‘penii’.[/li]
[li]Restaurant service in the USA. Yes, different cultures and all that. But ideally I’d like to enjoy my meal without being interrupted every 5 minutes by someone checking that everything’s ‘all OK here’.[/li]
[li]People who guess instead of telling you they don’t know. Struggling to think of any examples, but some of my friends can’t bring themselves to say “no idea, sorry” or “I don’t know, but I’d guess…” in response to a factual question (directions, say). They always take a stab at it, which isn’t hugely helpful.[/li][/ol]
I pit the sexual performance anxiety I have with my new girlfriend - and the fact that I can’t just bring the topic up casually with family and friends. Thankfully, she’s one of the most patient and understanding people in the world, but still - SHIT :mad:
Well, uh, we Americans would have LOTS of money to do that kind of thing if we didn’t have to do stuff like defend YOU lot from people like Saddam Hussein and his weapons of mass destruction!
If I put an ad in for a general rube position, and you email a resume that says you work for NASA in a rocket science position, or you just finished your internship at Johns Hopkins for neurosurgery, you better explain your reasoning, otherwise your resume is going directly into the trash, with a polite email saying no. I don’t need a rocket scientist or brain surgeon, I need a general rube, damnit.
Yes, I understand times are getting tough, especially in our line of work. Yes, I understand that I will end up getting a wonderful, overqualified employee because of this. But could you at least connect the dots for me when trying to make your case?
I need money, bad, and it’s you or the McDonald’s fry maker.
I hate responsibility, high pay, and job satisfaction and want to try something different.
I can’t stand my present employer, and would rather work for peanuts and the occasional sugar cube than take one more day at that hellhole.
I’ve always wanted to work for a chick with a tool belt.
I just randomly fire off my resume for shits and giggles.
If you want to even be considered, explain yourself, because I am too fucking busy to try to play guessing games.
Missed the window- Out of the 16 resumes I have received so far today, 12 are highly overqualified. I’d love to have someone that was such an asset to my company, but seriously folks, you have to make your case as to your usefulness, otherwise you are wasting all of our time.
I don’t need a VP of a huge commercial builder picking up scrap garbage from a jobsite, I need a shaved monkey with a relatively clean shirt that doesn’t smell like ass, stale beer and wet dog.
I’m lazy, and my lighter tends to be easier to get to than my scissors, and so I often use fire to separate things. Today, it was part of the string hanging from my ceiling fan, made out of some sort of synthetic plasticky fibers. I should’ve just blown the flame out, as always, but instead, I grabbed it, as always. At least the blister’s not as bad as I feared. Woo boy, that shit hurt.
Every time, it’s the same basic story. I get goofy, burn some stuff, and try to put it out with my fingers.
Unnecessary apostrophes are still worth the occasional minirant (Highfalutin and Hifalutin are correct). Though “Hifalutin” sounds like the name of a prescription drug.
It is not pronounced Cel-Shush. The word is Celsius. Cell-See-Us. Once I wouldn’t have minded, but why did you have to say it 4 times within a minute? I was trying to nap and your hideous pronounciation kept me awake. Fuckwit.
Not so micro as this is the one thing at work that drives me nuts more than anything else: Hey, newbie salesguy, what you write on the mockup request sheet is what goes on the mockup. I don’t know why this is brain surgery, but if, say, you don’t want an address, don’t write down an address. DUH. And could you, pretty please, actually make sure the info you write down is for the label you want? Please?! You dumbshit.
