Good Lord, preserve us from that most dissolute of creatures, the judicial humorist.
The Court did give up on the second couplet in this stanza:
Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around
Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground
Eminem contends that his rap is protected
By the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment
There is a much abused tradition of literary open pit mining in judicial decisions. There is a locally famous Iowa case about the authority of agents in which a car salesman lost his employer’s bank roll in an after hours poker game. The money was to be used to buy cars. The employer wanted his money back from the other guys in the card game. The State Supreme Court’s opinion starts off with a bow to Robert Service and this language: “Some of the boys were whooping it up in the Old Fort Des Moines Hotel.”
Years ago I had a case about a defective manure storage structure in which the trial judge entered a decision in verse. My opponent had a major fit and tried to have the decision reversed because of the trial court’s flippant attitude.
There is a federal district judge in Oklahoma, Wayne Alley, who has a knack for the language, too.
Thanks, Dewey, that was fun.