I have to admit that I did get a little smile from the article, until I really started to think about it. I am too used to dealing with parents who think it is “cute” to see their children be rude to people until they are teenagers and not so cute anymore. By then it is damn hard to teach manners.
The other thing is, as a parent who believes my job is to socialize my child, sometimes I think I am swimming upstream. On television it seems the norm is children being rude to people, and they are all presented as cute. I also hear her tell us stories of peers at school being terribly rude to their teachers and when teachers call to say something to the parents, the parents ask what that teacher did to the child to make them be rude. The group of kids she hangs out with are the kids who are never suspended or sent to the office, yet they are sometimes terribly rude. It kind of feels like the whole culture is conspiring to bring rude children, especially when I have to remind her yet again, at 14, to say please or thank you. We should be done with that by now.
What this woman did was wrong, and innapropriate, and giving up her role as the designated adult, but I can see the frustration that would lead to it. I can particularly see it when the kid is usually good and the missbehavior sideswiped her out of the blue.
See, I think the exact opposite - if the kid is usually well behaved and in a moment of uncharacteristic anger was rude to a teacher surely they should more likely to be given a pass on this? Everyone has bad days, kids included, and this punishment doesn’t seem to reflect that. As far as I can see it’s a humiliating punishment for one minor lapse in self-control that no rational parent should ever enact except if they are an attention whoring nut job.
Oh, come on. A poor decision of Mom’s? Sure. Grandstanding? Absolutely. But abuse? No. And insinuating that this mother would or does physically abuse her child is way out in left field.
Get over yourself. It’s a stupid stunt, but not every dumb thing is indicative of an “OMG TRAGEDY!!!1111!!!”
:rolleyes:
Real abuse is serious, and shouldn’t be cheapened by lumping it in with bullshit.
Agree- “look at me, I’m a great parent”- she could have gotten the same result by cancelling TV privileges for a week, now this kid is going to take shit from the other kids for the rest of his life. Myabe she’ll get on TV though. :rolleyes:
You don’t think this could in any way be construed as emotional abuse? If it happens one time as a last resort to a long-established pattern of behavior that’s one thing, but an established pattern of overreacting and seriously disproportional and humiliating punishments can seriously fuck a kid up. We don’t have much info here, but we now know that the kid wasn’t even suspended and it was the parent’s choice to keep him out of school even though he is apparently an Honor roll student. If I’m going to jump to conclusions it’s going to be the conservative one–this kid’s Mom is a controlling, reactive bitch.
But throughout the piece, the mom mentions that her son had lost his right to go to school, i.e., he’d been suspended. Frankly, it would take a hell of a rude comment for an 8-year-old to be suspended.
I applaud her for emphasising this in his mind. So the next time he feels like being rude, he’ll also feel the shame, and think twice.
Nowadays, by the time a student gets to high school (the level at which I teach), they have lost any sense of shame they should feel for behaving badly. I’m sick of hearing “nigga!”, “fuck”, “shit”, “bitch”, and other profanities, seeing young men treat young women like objects, and an attitude of who-do-you-think-you-are,-Mr.B? from students who think they’re God’s gift to humanity.
Nono. I meant colloquially. Not a real criminal rap sheet, just a standing history of the same behavior. That was an outside possibility, and not a conclusion I actually came to, just throwing another rock in the mystery stew.
Now that we have more info, and it appears that the kid in question was taken out of school by his mother and not suspended…it kind of freaks me out what kind of person that mother must be to do something that big for so little an infraction. What a bitch. What’s she going to do if/when he does something really bad? shudder
In my experience people who are so flip about “mere” embarrassment are the ones who grew up with abuse…
I’m not just pulling shit out of my ass. I’ve seen this shit. I know what happens on both sides of some doors.
As an aside… did you know one of the best tells to know the long term prospects of a relationship with a person? Eye rolling. It signifies a lack of empathy and a tendency to be dismissive of other peoples opinions.
But then… I’m just a histrionic nitwit father of three well behaved kids…
Not disputing, but do you have a cite for that? I’m a chronic eye-roller, as a way of non-verbally scoffing at some idiocy, and I notice one of my kids is starting to do it also, when he thinks I’m being unfair or mean. I’d just like to read more about this concept. Ok, little hijack over.
I have a feeling she’s going to be one of those perfectionist mothers, who will be upset with him if he gets a mark as low as gasp a 93 on a test. Obviously he didn’t study enough.
To me it’s like a few things. We have very specific ways of letting people know that what they feel isn’t valid, isn’t worthy, is generally inconvenient… we can walk out, we can act dismissive, we can get mad, we can roll our eyes… anything that communicates that what a person feels is invalid… really needs to be watched cautiously.
I don’t like a list of “don’t’s” though. I think the message is really just… try to connect. Try to understand. To appreciate where that person is coming from. Often that’s enough - even if nothing else changes. If a person is TRULY just being unreasonable… some of the same instincts kick up (desire to leave, feeling they aren’t being reasonable, etc).
Well, in 20 - 30 years we may know if the woman did terrible harm to her child. Who among us is gonna keep track. Will you be posting about the horrible thing your well raised kid did so we can all see that you were talking through your asses today???
As a parent trying to be responsible, at least she is doing something. You would rather the smart mouthed punks roaming the streets and internet that are the usual product of todays parents?
We do not have enough information. Honor student does not mean he is not a psychopath. Maybe it is just the thing that will turn him into a productive member of society.
On the face of it, seems a bit overboard.
:: No job is too hard for the person who does not have to do it. ::
Got a teacher with a different perspective than most in the thread. Got EJsGirl who has done some wonderful parenting herself disagreeing. Hummmm, being an older guy I must be really old fashioned because I think trend to understand everyone about everything is plum nuts and leads to the tower shooters IMO.
It is the pit so jump on who you want but I’m in EJsGirl’s & AWB’s camp…
AWB, I am sure mom had good intentions, but there are much better ways to shape a child’s behavior. With his self esteem intact, emotions under control, and positive not hostile feelings towards the adult.
Often, parents/caregivers focus on punishing unwanted behavior instead of reinforcing desired behavior. This mother severely punished her child.
A few observations: I note nothing in the original or linked article indicative that mom acted to draw news coverage. It happened, but may not have been part of her intent.
Everyone talks about self-esteem, but little attention is given to humility. We have sports teams where everyone gets a trophy, so no one has their feelings hurt. Horseshit. Losing, like winning, is part of life, and the sooner you learn how to do so graciously, the better off you are.
I’m happy that the attention my child draws is owing to her being polite, not that she’s a self-absorbed little hellion.
Not in the slightest. It’s an excellent way to get the message across that actions have consequences.
When Ted Poe was a judge here in Houston, he would sentence people to do stuff like this. His recidivism rate was substantially lower than anyone else.
There just isn’t enough shame in our society any more.
Wow, I am actually surprised the school system allowed that to happen on their property. I am quite sure our principal would be outside in a flash discouraging public humility of an 8 yo.
Yeah take responsibilty for your kid, but damn that is repugnant and hardly productive. make the punishment fit the crime, not some grandstanding display by a badass mom to her little shit.
What does he get if he tells a lie, breaks a toy or refuses to eat his veggies, a bigger sign on a cross?
and the news media applauded that? give me a break! :rolleyes: