I’ve always wanted to try raw oysters but never had the opportunity. But now I think I’m going to bit the bullet. There’s a place by me with a good reputation (Poor Phill’s in Oak Park, IL) and I think I may just pop in.
But I have NO idea what I’m doing. I’ve heard that you don’t actually chew oysters as much as you just let them “slide down”. Is this true? I know there are many varieties. What’s best for a beginner? What else do I need to know?
Come on! Educate me! 
Squeeze lemon juice on them, make sure they are completely detached from their shells, and yes–swallow them whole. The shells should be sitting in rock salt, a little of which will stick to the underside of the shell and get a taste on your lips.
A mob of Dopers will now disagree with me.
You will often be provided with seafood sauce, though I find it just totally overwhelms the oyster.
I have come to disagree with Sattua. 
I prefer raw oysters plain, no lemon, no other stuff. I chew them a bit, to get a longer experience of the flavor. Many people prefer them with cocktail sauce, lemon, horseradish, who knows what else. You might want to try a small one plain, to see if you actually like the flavor and sensation, then experiment with the various available condiments. Have fun!
Make sure you go to a good seafood place where they’ll be fresh. Best to sit at the raw bar, so you get them right from the ice. Order smaller ones at first, maybe the size of a pat of butter. You’ll be offered several sauces, so experiment. I like just a little squeeze of lemon. Let it slide into your mouth, and swallow it as is without chewing. Don’t be shocked if there is a little grit-- that happens sometimes. Yum!!
If you don’t like them, try some cherrystones (clams)!!
I chew them. I can’t bring myself to swallow something without chewing. Lemon juice is delicious and so is mignonette sauce (champagne vinegar with minced shallots).
Personally I’m a slide guy. I think lemon juice is the best, maybe sometimes hot sauce. Horse radish…maybe now and then, but probably not the best accompaniment.
Mmmm…wish I had a dozen right now.
make sure the place you’re going has them heavily iced, and never eat them from an “all you can eat” buffet, raw oysters go bad very easily
if they smell “fishy” or “ripe”, they’ve gone bad
Zoid, for your first oyster experience I would strive to get the best you can if jsut to acclimate yourself. I would stop at Dirks Fish (2070 N. Clybourn and pick up a few from him. Barring that, I would head to Bob Chinn’s or Davis St. Fishmarket in Evanston and tell them you are a newbie to oysters.
If you go to Davis St. PM me and I’ll try to meet up with you and have a few:) They also serve the best damn tater tots on the planet which go surprisingly well with oysters.
Heh, reminds me of an old George Carlin skit…
"…and oysters, (audience groans) i cannot eat oysters, or clams, not for the reason you mention, which is “EEEEEWWW!”, but when i look at an oyster, i think "hey…somebody lives in there, that’s somebody’s little house, i’m not going to break in on somebody just to eat them, c’mon!, we’ve got LAWS against that, that’s “breaking and eating” i believe, don’t get me wrong, if an oyster slips and falls out of his shell, i’ll eat that little bugger up in a minute, i got no mercy on a clumsy mollusk
…but i’m not going IN after somebody, hey, he might be making a pearl, he might have just brought home a Heathkit and cleaned off the tabletop…
not my job to mess with an oyster’s dream…"
Oooo, I’ve had oysters at Poor Phil’s, and they are really good there. Nice place to start!
So, if you swallow them without chewing, do you actually taste the oyster? Or are you just buying an expensive lemon/sauce holder?
Considering the excellent advice you have above, this is probably totally unnecessary, but just in case:
If you’re at an oyster bar and see a dozen oyesters on sale, “College Student Style,” pass on it. It’s cheap, yeah, but what you get is one oyster and a very long string to tie it to.
'Nuff said!
I like them with lemon or sauce. The larger Bluepoints have a less subtle flavor, so you can sauce them without too much remorse. If you get an opportunity, try some other varieties. There really are differences. Some are more sweet, some brinier or more metallic (not in a bad way, necessarily.)
I think some people don’t chew them because they like the taste but not the texture. I chew them a bit myself. It doesn’t take much.
I think not chewing is a waste of an oyster. You may as well squeeze some lemon juice on a wad of silly putty and swallow that. Definitely chew. And do make sure the entire oyster is detached from the shell. The kitchen workers are sometimes a bit rushed.
If you want to try some incredible cooked oysters, try oysters rockefeller. Or a quality oyster stew.
Seconded…(or thirded or forthded, as the case may be). 
Heh. Oysters.
A story…
My then girlfriend and I had rented a room at a nice hotel for a New Year’s Eve party. It was a great evening–drinking and dancing, a good time was had by all. We were both “over served” a little.
Part of the package was a late checkout time plus a Bloody Mary brunch on New Year’s Day. So…we roused ourselves about 10:00 am and went down for the brunch. I was ahead of her in line and, groovy!, there were oysters on the half shell. I picked one up, turned to her and said, “Watch this.” I gulped it down, and I’m sure there was a little juice on my chin.
She set her tray down and walked out of line. She stood with her back to me for a moment. (She didn’t hurl, but later told me it was close.) When she got back in line, all she got was some tonic water. Then she told me never to do that again.
Shellfish can be fun.
I loves me some raw oysters!
I neither chew them nor bolt them down intact.
I slide the oyster with the selected additions (lemon juice, horseradish, hot sauce, capers, all varying based on my mood and what’s available) into my mouth, onto my tongue, then I squeeze the oyster plus toppings between the tongue and the roof of my mouth, releasing the delectable juices plus the toppings. Then I lower my tonuge, inhale to further savor the flavor, and swallow.
Or I used to, anyway. A little bout with a presumed Vibrio infection after my last feast has kept me from returning to them. :mad:
Hmmmm…
For most oyster newbies - here’s what I recommend:
(1) Squeeze a little lemon on the oyster.
(2) Put a dab of cocktail sauce on the oyster.
(3) Put a dab of horseradish on the oyster.
(4) Fork the oyster onto a saltine cracker (or 1/2 a saltine cracker).
(5) Cram the whole thing in your mouth and enjoy!!!
…
Now before anybody goes ballistic - I’m a straight, raw slide or chew man myself (depending on the mood). But I find that newbies have trouble with both the texture and the oceany taste. Better to start slow and learn to love oysters than to get grossed out.
God, what I would do for some Hama Hamas right now!
I love raw oysters too, but haven’t had them in years – not since college, going to Calico Jack’s near UF. I like them with a little dash of cocktail sauce, but they’re equally good with lemon juice or even Tabasco. Have plenty of oyster crackers on hand, maybe some good fries and cole slaw on the side, and lots of ice-cold beer. They’re not to everyone’s taste, but hopefully you’re in for a real treat!