Read It.
Sung to the tune of: * Eat It.** - (With apologies to** Weird Al Yankovic**.)*
ahem
(Intro)
How come you’re always such a fussy user?
Don’t want to use the search, you want the pot to stir?
You better know the rules, don’t just scan them in a blur.
So read it, just read it.
Don’t want to argue, I don’t want to debate
Don’t want to hear about what kind of thread you hate
You’ve got to know the rules or folks will get irate
So read it. [sup]Don’t you tell me that’s bull.[/sup]
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
Study vB code you’ll need it.
Read “About This Board”, read some “GQ”
It doesn’t matter if it’s no fun for you.
Just read it, read it, read it, read it
Just read it, read it, read it, read it
[sup]{Oooooooooo}[/sup]
Your use of quotes is a cryin’ shame
You’re playin’ with our minds, this ain’t some kind of game
If you want to starve your brain, you’ll just have yourself to blame
So read it, just read it.
You better listen, better do what you’re told
That thread you resurrected ’s almost four years old
You better smarten up, or we’re gonna get cold
So read it. [sup]I don’t care if it’s bull[/sup]
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
Open up your eyes and see it.
Don’t ask dumb questions, or post dumb replies
It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or high
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
If Cecil said it then repeat it
Blame the moderator, blame the whole bunch
It doesn’t matter if you took a punch
Just read it, read it, read it, read it ~ (shamelessly gropes crotch)[sup]Oooooooo[/sup] 
Read it, read it, read it, read it.
Read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
If it’s gettin’ old, re-read it
Have a discussion. It’s a known fact,
Once you hit “submit”, you can’t take it back.
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
Get yourself a case plead it (oh lord)
Read about smilies, read “FAQ”
It doesn’t matter if it’s no fun for you.
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)
Just read it, (read it,) read it, (read it)[sup]oh no![/sup]
Don’t have a tantrum, we don’t have the time.
It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t rhyme.
Just read it, read it, read it, read it.
Thanks, you’ve been a great audience.
Several Similarly Stupid SDMB Silly Songs Submitted by Smug:
[sup]
He’s a Euty. (Vocals by Persephone.)
Satan Went Down to Straight Dope.
Newbie-hian Rhapsody
Doper Groove
Every Thread You Make
Ignorant Guy
Stuck in a Pit Thread With You
On the Cover of the Ol’ Straight Dope
[/sup]And a Pair of Pathetic Poems.[sup]
Cecil in the Chat Cecil’s Revenge [/sup]
= Top Notch. A+ Threadspotting material.
= Fun to read. Laughed aloud.
= Amusing. Cracked a smile.