Readers: assess the truth of this passage for me.

As I’ve mentioned in ten thousand other threads, I’m working on a novel. I’d like a little feedback from the group on one passage in particular. It’s female Dopers’ opinions I’m especially interested in, but anyone who wants to chime in is welcome.

First a little background. My novel is the story of two children, Hannah and Andy, 13 & 14 years old, respectively. They are best friends; one might call them soul-mates. Andy is athletic and extremely popular. By contrast Hannah comes from a stultifying and unpleasant family; her only human friends are Andy and his older sister Rosemary, and Hannah believes, or fears, that Rosemary is only her friend because of Andy. Theirs is a definite big-brother/little sister relationship.

In the passage I’m excerpting, Hannah has just returned from her first day of high school (she’s extremely bright and has jumped two grades). Having spent the summer out of the country with her family, she finds that she has gotten a reputation over the summer, thanks to Michael Summers, a boy who surprised her by flirting with her at the end of the previous school year. Going to Andy for comfort, Hannah is shocked to find Michael and two of his friends in Andy’s room. Andy’s new stepbrother, Christopher, is friends with Michael and his group, which calls itself the “Posse.”

Here’s the scene I’m wondering about, with the relevant passage boldfaced:

Does this scene seem emotionally true to you?

Thanks in advance,

I think the first bolded excerpt is good, sicne the namecalling is new to her. If it had been going on for a longer time, she probably would have been more stoic about it.

The second one kind of depends. If Hannah developing prematurely? If she is the first one in her age group to start growing breasts, I could see the scene transpiring that way. If not, I wouldn’t think that the boy would necessarily be staring right at her chest. (Assuming that her new nickname comes from stories being told about her performing oral sex and not her willingness to have her breasts sucked on, in which case the scene would make a lot of sense)

She definitely supposed to be; as written, she’s very well developed at the age of twelve.

I don’t intend to expand on the story’s Michael is telling.

OK, if she is developing early, I could see her peers having that kind of reaction. It works for me.

I guess what I’m really asking is “Am I correct in describing Hannah’s ability to perceive what part of her body a boy is looking at?”

Oh, yeah. Without a doubt. If the guy wasn’t actively trying to be subtle, she could definitely tell. Girls learn that soon after they start developing.