We’ve all done it: read a passage too quickly, skim over a word and see something completely other.
Today, I read a diagnosis on my computer screen: TOXIC DIFFUSE GOITER. But what I read was TOXIC CHEESE GOITER.
What are your favorite mis-readings?
I once almost took a book called “Filthy Stories” out of my local library. I changed my mind when I discovered it was just “Fifty Stories”. 
Happens all the time. One particularly amusing one that comes to mind was from a calendar:
Spring Bank Holiday --> Sperm Bank Holiday
(I sometimes think that this was one source of John Lennon’s humor as revealed in his books… his vision was bad and he probably saw a lot of things this way when he read.)
Trained mechanic on duty at all times --> Trained maniac on duty at all times
Shopfitters --> Shoplifters
I keep seeing this thread title as “Reading too quickly, or, who put cheese on my guitar” – but I have dyslexia, so my mind often inserts wrong words just to annoy me.
On a road trip, our GPS truncated some words, and somehow “Flaming Gorge” looked like “Flaming Corpse” to me.
On a recent drive I was disappointed to realize that Julia’s Bridal & Tattoo was, in fact,** Julia’s Bridal & Tuxedo.**
It’s been mentioned in Top Chef threads, but they put graphics of the cheftestants’ names and restaurants on the screen for close-ups. Jeff works at the Dilido Beach Club. Every single time I read it as Dildo Beach Club
I once read “seedless grapes” as “lesbian grapes”. Don’t know how that one happened. (Although, if they can have virgin olive oil…)
I was scrolling through the list of funding requests the state has assembled for the stimulus money (all 1208 pages of it…), and about halfway down one of the pages, I came to a screeching halt. “Wet bar?! Some moron asked for stimulus money for a wet bar!?” I reread the request, and found out that I had smashed the word “wet” from the request above (for a pumping system overhaul) and the word “bar” from the current request (overhaul on the structural support bars for a building) together.
I was both pleased and disappointed… You’d have to appreciate the nerve it would take an institution to submit a request for a wet bar and hope that no one would notice it in among all the road repaving, fiber cable extensions, and wind turbine requests.
I read this as Spring Spank Holiday, and got all excited.