We took a friend out to a local brewery last night. She is smart and a lot of fun to hang around with. As she perused the beer list, she asked what the different terms meant.
First was %ABV. She had no idea, so I explained it was how much alcohol was in each offering. Fine. Then came oz, which she knew meant ounces, but she couldn’t figure out how/why you would buy 64 ounces of beer. I explained it meant a growler, that’s why the price per ounce was less. You could also get 16 ounces for a regular pint, or 5 ounces for a small glass.
Next came the “style” column. She understood this, but had questions about what makes a beer a pilsner/lager/ale/stout/sour/etc. I was getting thirsty by this point, but it was an interesting topic.
Finally we came to the last column, “doll hairs”. I thought this was self explanatory, but she didn’t get it. I waited patiently while she looked and thought and scratched her head, but still nothing.
So I explained about how high-end dolls were valued in part due to the density of the real human hair implanted, by hand, into the doll’s porcelain scalp. A skilled doll maker could implant only so many hairs per hour, and they would dip the root end into a small glass of beer which helped in the process. This was how beer and doll making became associated with each other.
When dolls were sold, price was determined based on how many doll hairs were present. It turns out that each doll hair was worth about a buck, and so doll hairs are used currently in stating beer prices in breweries. Sure enough, the beer she ended up ordering cost six doll hairs, or six bucks.
It wasn’t until the bartender brought her 4 dollars change that she realized the whole thing was a joke. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.
I was out on a first date with a girl who knew I was a musician (got her # at a gig).
We were talking about music, she had asked a few questions about music, “how and why” type stuff.
At that point the cassette we were listening too ended with a few rising tones (like a phone message " I’m sorry the number you dialed" etc) she asked what the tones were for.
I told her it was so deaf people know when to turn the tape over.:rolleyes: She never questioned it:smack: WOOOOSH
Twenty-some years ago, when I was first fooling around with computers, a friend in Bangkok who was installing more memory in my PC cautioned me you had to be careful when removing the computer cover, because the data could escape. For a split second, I believed him!
While I don’t drink I spend a lot of time in bars playing trivia. I have never heard of “doll hairs”. What the heck is it? Just some goofy way of saying “dollar”?
I tell people who ask me too many questions I can’t tell them because I’m in a witness protection program. Several people have looked up shocked for a minute. One person quickly walked away from me. And 2 people really believed me to the point of me having to explain it was a joke.
Strangers often approach me swearing they recognize me from somewhere. I put on my thousand yard stare and ask, “ever done time?” It’s a joke, but so many people are taken aback that my gf has asked me not to do it if she’s with me.
I had to google beer doll hairs. The phrase is so far from the pronunciation of “dollar” that I had no idea that is what it was supposed to be. The googling showed it not to be beer-specific but a meme originating from the movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
mom had a undiagnosed narcolepsy type of disorder which led into some hairlious types of conversations as she was usually half a asleep a lot
one was about a train trip I was planning and paid for …. and I made an off hand remark about maybe taking a train to Hawaii ….
When I left the room I realized what id said she didn’t being in her usually drowsy just woke up from a cat nap state
So I went back in the room and started talking about said train trip for 15 minutes she had it all planned out until I was laughing so hard …… I said " mom where is Hawaii " in the ocean she said then I said ok now what does a train need to put tracks on… all of a sudden she put it together and I was laughing so hard as I dodged the coaster she flung at me as I went out of the room ……
One of our dogs had to have an eye removed due to a bad infection. So many people have asked us what happened to her when we’re out for walks that I started making up more interesting answers:
Lost it in a knife fight
There was an unfortunate accident with a shop vac
She sneezed really hard one day, and it just shot across the room
It’s still there. She’s just winking at you really hard because she likes you
Person: Aw, she lost her eye
Me (looking shocked): She did?! Holy shit!
