Really Bad Business Plans In the Movies and on TV

Cafe Society
1

There are three movies I can think of offhand that feature business plans so bad that it’s hard to believe the scriptwriter was stoned enough to think it would pass, much less that it got made. Here they are:

  1. Demonlover – Volfsgrup, a French megacorp, big enough to have some kind of arbitrage/trading operation and to conduct real estate deals in Abu Dhabi, is planning the move that will really MAKE their fortune: they are going to buy the rights to a Japanese corp’s process that creates 3D pornographic cartoons. It’s like Smith Barney attempting to recoup trading losses by purchasing the cartoon section of Danni’s Hot Box. Naturally, things don’t work out …

  2. I like To Play Games, Too – Maria Ford plays Suzanne, a small ad agency owner whose fiercely competitive streak has led her to a unique business plan – she takes her clients as lovers, and so long as they can beat her at whatever games she gets up to, they remain her clients and lovers. But the minute she defeats them in the game of the moment, she drops them as both lover and client. Naturally, this leads to a severe client retention problem, and wouldn’t you know it, she winds up playing games with a criminal … who’d a thunk it?

  3. Call Girl – Don’t be confused by the title – there are no call girls in Call Girl. It’s about a young woman who sets out to be a successful art photographer. To that end, she rents a $2,000 per month studio loft, buys lots of expensive camera equipment, hires models, takes lots of “artistic” nude shots of them, makes black and white prints of them, holds a big gallery opening and wait for the money to pour in to cover all her expenses. She sells one lousy photo and winds up trying to take a job as a call girl, but the only client she can find doesn’t want to have sex with her, but DOES want to give her money. Brain-damaged script? You bet!

Any other movie business plans that are this stupid? I don’t think we can allow comedy business plans that are SUPPOSED to be stupid – these movies all presented the plans as if they made sense. Even though they … don’t.

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I guess the lesson here is that if you’re planning on starting a business you shouldn’t research ideas in the “Erotic Thriller” section of your local video store. :smiley:

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Hmmmmm. That might explain why my erotic beanie baby business never took off … :smiley: