I don’t mean merely “uninspired” or “mediocre,” I mean BAD! So bad that watching them is either funny, because they’re so ridiculous, or just pure torture.
This thread was inspired by seeing Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “Hard Target” on tv the other night. This was unfortunately the second time I’ve had to sit through this incredibly nit-witted adventure, although it was at least still funny to watch. I can’t believe Lance Henrikson’s career ever recovered.
I think the grand-daddy of movies in this category is “Battlefield Earth.” Anyone who has seen it will understand.
Well, “disaster” movies of the 1970s always seemed to have large, blockbuster casts (granted, many of the big stars were well past their prime). And SOME of those films were real turkeys. Think of:
“When Time Ran Out,” an Irwin Allen stinker with Paul Newman as the star.
“Airport 77” had Jimmy Stewart, Jack Lemmon, and Olivia de Haviland, among others.
The godawful giant octopus movie “Tentacles” had Henry Fonda and John Huston (they both must’ve needed the money bad!).
“Ishtar” with Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty. “The Firm” with Tom Cruise and Gene Hackman. “Pink Cadillac” with Clint Eastwood. "The Fifth Element’’ with Bruce Willis. Anything with Sandra Bullock, good actress, she just needs to hire someone to pick her scripts for her. “Demolition Man”, “Daylight”, “Judge Dredd”, “Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot”, ok, you get the point, with Stallone.
Gas. Featuring Donald Sutherland as the helicopter traffic reporter, who was evidently so embarassed to be a part of the film that he found a way to never appear on screen with a single other character.
I haven’t seen The Last Castle but how could you include the Abel Ferrara classic in this post!? We’re talking about a movie that includes full-frontal Keitel, a nun being raped on an altar, drugs, gambling, more drugs, lots of alcohol, a really f*cked up bad lieutenant wandering around a church and screaming, and the brilliant Keitel jacking off onto a car door while telling one of the occupants to “Show me your ass.” This is more than a classic, it’s art!
Jean-Claude Van Damme is a big star? Where the hell have I been? Most of the others mentioned are, what I would consider, big stars but not Van Damme.
I never seen Ishtar but I always hear that it really wasn’t a bad movie just over hyped with a huge budget. Or was it over hyped because of the big buget?
Hudson Hawk - Bruce Wilis
Joe vs the Volcano - Tom Hanks
Secret Weapon? - Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore.
Damn! I can’t remember the title to this one. Eddie actually apologized on SNL after he returned to host. His comment was something like “If y’all would have seen the amount of money they gave me to make that movie y’all would have made it too.”
Slap Shot with Paul Newman and The Ratings Game with Danny DeVito could qualify as “bad” movies, though I still like them both.
And I heard of a Canadian-only release with Leslie Nielsen called Men with Brooms…it sounds like a “bad” movie (mind, I’d still like it, I’m sure); any Canadian dopers able to confirm?
I’m not sure if Christopher Lambert counts as a “big star” or not (depends on who you talk to), but Druids is one of the worst films I have ever seen. EVER.
“Men with Brooms” isn’t a bad movie. Not great, but had its moments.
Some other nominations:
Robin Williams in “Toys” and “Popeye”
Brad Pitt in “Cool World”
Sean Connery in “The Avengers”
Sean Connery in “Highlander II: The Sickening” Sorry, “Quickening”
Keanu Reeves in “Chain Reaction”
Samuel L. Jackson in “Deep Blue Sea”
Several stars in “Heaven’s Gate”
Jim Carrey in “Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls”
Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum et al. in “Midway”
Donald Sutherland in “Shadow Conspiracy”
John Wayne in “The Green Berets”
George Clooney in “Batman and Robin”
Sylvester Stallone in “Cobra” and “Judge Dredd” and all the Rambos after First Blood
Will Smith in “Wild Wild West”
Sandra Bullock in “Speed 2: Cruise Control”
Pierce Brosnan in “The Lawnmower Man”
Sharon Stone, and Sly again, in “The Specialist”
