It was a joke, sort of.
I’ve followed this thread with interest, because I feel this board, despite the presence of very intelligent people, is not a good place to have frank and open discussions about racism. My opinion. I actually have a number of topics that I would love to present as OPs, but I don’t have the temperment (I know that’s spelled wrong) to deal with it.
I’ll present my thoughts on the matter, though.
In regards to the OP: it seems the complaint was the fact that his dad, someone he knows quite well, approached his friend in an awkward manner and fell upon stereotypical assumptions of what this friend, who is Black, would be interested in. While I can empathize with the dad’s possible good intentions - certainly, I know from experience the worst thing I’ve experienced in such a setting is being ignored completely - I see it as problematic and certainly something Dad could work on to change. Is it racist? Well, of course it depends on how you define the word…
…which brings me to that very issue. Askia has presented a lexicon of words describing prejudical and racist behavior, and while I think there is good reasoning behind the different terms he ascribes to these behaviors, I personally have no problem labeling behaviors based on stereotypical assumptions on a person or group of people as racist, sexist, homophobic… and so on. Now I certainly agree that the impact and severity of one’s actions makes us able to differentiate between, say, the old man who counts his change when an Asian clerk hands it to him - but doesn’t bother when a White person does, and the subhuman specimens who dragged James Byrd to his death in East Texas.
I think the fact that people feel enabled to bow out of a conversation if they behave in a way that can be construed as sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. is a privilege that people in dominant groups can exercise and should be scrutinized. In my opinion, it takes a lot of chutzpah to declare oneself free from prejudicial and stereotypical thoughts, fully knowing that it is truly part of our nature to make assumptions about people and situations before we interact with them. It seems obvious that at times we’re going to get the calculus wrong, and over-assume, or under-assume. But it doesn’t strike me as a criminal offense when that happens. We’re human beings, we have to make these decisions constantly every day.
Here’s an example. I’ve walked in a parking garage late at night on a college campus. Dressed in a tweed blazer… very Ivy League. I’ve observed women giving me a wide berth in such circumstances. Now, is it because these women are racist? Is it because they see me as a threat as a potential assailant because of my size and my gender? Is it a combination of the two and other factors? Maybe. I don’t know, and I don’t consider these behaviors wrong or inherently racist, even though that might be part of the calculation that the women make. Does this make sense? I suppose in other words, the level of racism expressed in this action is acceptable to me. I can live comfortably and safely if this is the kind of stuff I deal with day to day.
Same scenario, but it’s the middle of the day and I’m in an elevator. A woman sees me and says, “Oh, I think I’ll take the stairs.” The level of racism that I assume that is being expressed goes up - but again, I maintain that she may legitimately decide that the stairs are better for her health, or I have some bizarre odor. I don’t know for sure, and depending on my mood it might be an amusing anecdote when I get home, or contribute to the microaggressions that I deal with on an hourly basis in certainly predominantly White settings. I guess the point I’m making is that if one accepts that racism and prejudice is part and parcel of the experience of living in this country, my daily existence is largely composed of small slights - Chester Pierce calls them microaggressions - that I can either process as harming me in some way, completely accidental, and/or examples of the general, garden-variety assholism that we all demonstrate.
I’ve also been engaged in actions that make me question my own stereotyping and prejudice. Yesterday I called a White female colleague the wrong name - in fact, the name of another White woman in the department. Was it an honest mistake? I think it was. But I wonder if I subconsciously didn’t take the effort to differentiate these two people. I have called an Asian student the wrong name, in fact the name of another Asian student. While I want to believe and I am fairly certain that it was an honest mistake, I wonder how the student felt and if she felt more tension and discomfort because of my mistake.
Part of the reason we have such stilted conversations about race on this board - and nationally, I’d think - is that if certain words like “racist” or “racism” come up, people throw up all kinds of defense mechanisms that prevent a conversation from moving forward. What if we had the courage to understand that very reprehensible thoughts and behaviors exist in us all, and it’s okay to acknowledge this? It doesn’t make me a misogynistic, hateful person if I acknowledge that I have been raised, and to a large extent internalized sexist beliefs? It makes me aware of the opportunities I have to work against sexism in minor - and major ways.
Just my 2 cents.
I quoted a definition of racism earlier in this thread. My point was that ignorance isn’t racism. If I feel that people of some other race are inferior to me, or worthy of my dislike or distrust, that’s racist. If I believe a stereotype (e.g., Asians are smart or blacks are good athletes) without malice, I really don’t believe that’s racism.
And now you bring in homophobia. Look up that word. How can believing some stereotype about gay people (again, without malice) possibly be construed as a fear of homosexuality?
No definitions that I’ve seen for racism requires maliciousness or hate. I can think of plenty of examples that 99% of people would agree are racist but are based on ignorance or illogical thought processes.
Can you explain what you mean by having a belief “without malice”? In my view, you either believe something or you don’t; malice doesn’t factor into it. It seems to me that most overtly racist people have their beliefs because they are ignorant. They haven’t been exposed to enough “exceptions to the rule” and therefore are more likely to formulate racist ideas about people based on their limited experiences. People can hold on to their beliefs stubbornly, not wanting to be told that they’re wrong, but that’s not maliciousness so much as indicative of how tenacious beliefs can be, especially ones that concern race.
I stated (or implied, anyway) that malice implies racism. I don’t believe that racism implies malice.
The definition of racism I quoted in post #59, along with most others I’ve read, refer to racism as a belief that another race is somehow inferior to one’s own. Believing that those of another race are generally better lion tamers, or that those of another race tend to like badminton doesn’t fit this definition. There’s no implication of inferiority.
I threw in the malice part on my own, because if you believe a stereotype in order to further your own dislike of another race (whether it involved perceived inferiority or not), then I’d consider it racist.
To clarify my point through example:
Disliking Xanthians because you believe that they are stupid and lazy = racist (because of your perceived superiority over them).
Disliking Xanthians because you believe that they control the world of fast food and they’re keeping you from getting your dream job at Taco Bell = racist (because of your perceived inferiority to them and the malice you feel toward them).
Believing that Xanthians all love Calvinball because most of the players seem to be Xanthian = ignorant, not racist (no malice, no feelings of superiority or inferiority).
I can see classifying that third example as annoying, but in no way racist or malicious. The OP’s dad thinking that a black friend would like basketball is no different than if he thought I’d like basketball because I’m tall–and I’ll bet I hear that more often than your average black guy. It gets old, but it’s perfectly harmless.
I don’t understand what you mean. You can be malicious in 100 different ways and not be racist, right?
I disagree. If you believe another race is inherently better at taming lions than other races, then yes you’re being racist according to the definition that you are using. The dictionary doesn’t distinguish between inferiority based on lion taming and inferiority based on some other quality (such as morality, intelligence, athleticism). It also doesn’t require all-encompassing inferiority. Inferiority is inferiority.
But as I said, you either believe something or you don’t. For the most part, beliefs are not conscious decisions. People believe in a stereotype and that leads to them disliking other people. I can’t imagine that someone would actively make themselves believe something in order to go hating someone else.
I agree that this type of thought process is not racist and this is why the OP’s dad was not exhibiting racism, IMO. I just disagree that just because a belief springs out of ignorance that means that it’s not racist. The reason why this example is not racist, in my view, is not because it is made out of ignorance. It’s because the person is not attributing character, skill, or ability to race. Thinking all Xanthians like fried chicken is not racist, either.
But thinking all Xanthians will steal from you if you don’t watch your back is racist, even if the belief is a byproduct of the same ignorant, stereotype-based thinking that produced the Calvinball belief. Stealing is a behavior that’s reflective of character. Liking friend chicken is a value-neutral preference that doesn’t make someone “bad”. The former is racist by definition, the other is not. But both beliefs are created when people heavily lean upon racial stereotypes.