This afternoon, my husband and I were leaving the house together. As usual, we were departing through the kitchen door. I was in the process of locking the door, and asked to make sure my husband didn’t need anything else from indoors before completing that process. We got home a couple of hours later, and I realized that, while the kitchen door was properly locked, the front door was entirely unlocked. And the door into the back yard was standing wide open.
Also, I realized this afternoon that I’m really crummy at spotting landmarks. In our 6 months of living here, I’ve gotten pretty good at giving directions to the house. If you are arriving from the east, I’ve said “After passing the stoplight, you’ll pass city hall, the fire station, and the hardware store. Our driveway is directly across from the hardware store.” Really, my directions are pretty good - no one gets lost. However, it just dawned on me today that it would be a lot, lot, lot easier for most drivers to use the bright red caboose (located next to city hall) as a landmark… It just didn’t register with me that there’s a bright red train caboose parked practically in the front yard!
Recently I noticed the huge water tower near my house. Wow, how long has that been there? Oh, just FOREVER!
In my defense, the legs part is really hard to notice from up close.
For some reason, when moving the spoon from the jar of coffee to the cup, it invariably hits the side of the jar and I end up with a shitload of coffee granules on the bench to be later wiped. ALWAYS. :rolleyes:
With sugar though, it’s always when I open a new bag that is to be transferred to the sugarbowl. I cannot for the life of me open a bag of sugar properly. I KNOW the instructions are on the bag, but I can’t fucken do it. It *always *splits wonkily, and I end up with a half-bag of sugar on the bench. ** ALWAYS. ** :rolleyes:
I drink too much and smoke a bit. I have a piss-poor sense of direction. I have a bad internal censor so I often say things that offend people, although at least some people find these comments hilarious at the same time, thus making my social life a tight-rope walk at times. All in all I might be better served just shutting up.
Ummm… what else… Oh, I need to lose 10 pounds, my upper body strength is poor, and my mother is a hamster.
Hmm, let’s see. I’m 80 yards away from the pin, deep in the woods, with a pond between me and the green. But wait! There’s a gap high in the trees that I just might be able to go through if I hit a lob wedge really hard. That’s what I’ll do! After all, what could possibly go wrong?
(Whenever I play golf I tend to leave my brains in the car.)
No ‘cute’, dammit! The OP is specific about that! And hamsters are damned cute!
So in addition to all the shortcomings you’ve mentioned, you can’t freakin’ follow rules!
I mentioned this in another thread, but I am complete shit at setting and maintaining a sleep schedule. I always go to bed and get up at around the same time when I have to go to work, but on the weekends? Up 'till 3, asleep until noon. And then on days when I DO have to work, I always come home at around 4 and take a two-hour nap. I always realize that this makes me unable to sleep at night (and therefore exhausted the next morning), but do I ever make an attempt to change? Nope. I love my naps too much.
I always forget whom I’ve told certain stories to. I’ll start telling someone about something that happened to me in the past, and they’ll go “oh, you’ve told me this already.” And I will have no recollection of doing so. I’ve even done this to people who were THERE when the thing I was talking about happened. :smack:
Though I’ve also had situations where I tell someone a story and THEY won’t remember that I’ve told them before. Sometimes I’ll remember having told them mid-story, but when I tell them this they’ll go “yeah, you might have, but I don’t remember!” Maybe that means my stories are just that forgettable.
Related to Cazzle’s: I rarely make a list of things I need at the shop ('cause I can remember that, don’cha know) but on the rare occasion that I remember to make a list, at least half the time I’ll forget to look at it at all, and the times I do remember that I made a list I somehow manage not to get everything on it. It’s bizarre and I don’t understand it, but pretty much invariably I’ll get home and realize I missed some item on the list.
I am so glad it’s not just me! I usually make a list; perhaps half the time I’ll actually remember to print it out. . .perhaps 30% of the time I do print it out, I’ll remember to actually take it to the store with me. . .maybe half the time I take it to the store with me, I’ll actually remember to take it into the store with me.:smack:
Then, of course, given the slim chance that the list makes it into the store with me, there’s a 50/50 chance I won’t remember to look at it before I leave the store!:smack::smack:
Sort of like Maiira, I don’t go to bed when I should. For instance, right now! I’m exhausted, my eyes are drooping, but I’m still sitting here. :rolleyes:
This is me. You think I would’ve learned, but noooooooo.
I also have a tendency to cook way more than is needed for the number of people involved. Seeing as I cook for exactly 2 people 99% of the time, one would think I would have mastered the art by now.
“Darling, have we invited a multitude of starving children over tonight and you’ve forgotten to tell me?”
Something similar happened on this board once. Somebody was traveling to Houston and asking for recommendations of places to go. I recommended a well-known BBQ place. Several locals were telling how to get to the place with directions like “turn at the Burger King and it’s one block north” or “drive by the post office and keep going straight under the overpass” or “watch for the Toyota dealership next door”. And I pointed out that a useful direction might be “there’s a fifteen foot tall chrome statue of an armadillo wearing a cowboy hat in their front lawn.”
My bf and I have the same problem as HazelNut. We always make too much food, then put the leftovers in the fridge, find them a month later when they are green and throw them out. What a waste.
Also, sometimes when I am driving I space out and can’t remember getting there. This especially happens when going to work. I think my body just goes into autopilot and my mind is free to wander.
A contemporary dumb thing I seem to be doing repeatedly…
About four months ago, a cable apparently snapped inside my car’s door, which rendered the handle inside designed to open it inoperable. The dealership said they would have to order a new one, as the parts department didn’t have it in stock. And they quoted a rather exorbitant price…all of which made me decide to live with the situation for the time being. So I learned to roll the window down upon arriving at my destination and grab the outside door handle to exit.
Now comes the warmer weather, and my window is already down most of the time. But what do I do upon arriving at work or somewhere else where I will lock the car? I roll the window UP out of habit, only afterwards realizing that it has to be down in order for me to grab the outside door handle. So I roll the window up, down and up again before I can exit.
Several weeks under this newer set of circumstances have yet to establish a new pattern. You’d think by now I would have learned, but at least half the time I thoughtlessly roll the window up upon arrival instead of sensibly grabbing the outside door handle first.
So…is this mundane and pointless enough?
I moved to my current location about 2 year ago. Where I used to live, there was a strip center with a Radio Shack and then right next door a Hollywood Video.
In my new location, there is a strip center with a Radio Shack and a few other stores, but not one of them is a Hollywood Video. But for some reason, my mind thought that there was a Hollywood Vidoe there.
So much so that one night when I was bored I decided to go rent a movie at the Hollywood Video that I had completely imagined. When I got there, I felt like I was gowing crazy. I just knew there was a Hollywood Video store in that strip center. I looked for it and looked for it. I drove through the parking lot checking out each store.
As it turns out there is not and never has been a Hollywood Video there.
