Really dumb stuff your pet does: no cute allowed.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
121

My dog Buddy will spend an hour outside then come in and hike his leg on the furniture, pissing everywhere. Now we have a puppy and he’s learning the habit too. It really really makes me mad because they’re both perfectly healthy. They’re fairly well-trained in other areas, but WTF? Buddy was an adoption case who may not have had a home before, so I guess he has reasons not to quite understand all peeing must be door outdoors but come on, it’s been two years dog! Stop that!

My cats never do stupid things. One is blind so there are often head slams into walls and walks right off tables. You can’t help but laugh so that doesn’t count here.

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Our cat Midnight used to do this, too. She liked to play at getting them back out, but eventually she’d bat them to far back.

We also had a theory that she thought The Cat In The Oven (her reflection, seen in the glass) would bat them back, but never did. She spent a lot of time looking at The Cat In The Oven.

123

Oh, yeah, my Ponch-Boo, mighty hunter that he is, will catch a mouse (a real mouse), nearly kill it or kill it outright, then “hide” it from himself so he can feel like a genius when he “finds” it again! :smack::smiley:

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The stove is the one place where it’s a pain to get them back out. Our furniture is high enough where, if she really slinks, she can get them. The closet? Easy peasy.

Lucy does that, too. She has also been known to try and get to her mice by hopping into the oven. Or she has a death wish. Yum, baked cat.

125

When I was a kid we had a cat, Jake, that was really picky about where he’d go to the bathroom. We only kept litter boxes when we had a new kitten; once they were housebroken and used to the backyard, that’s where they were expected to go.

I don’t know if we screwed Jake up when housebreaking him or what, but he refused to just use the ground outside. A third of our backyard was taken up by several pine and redwood trees on a hill, with nothing but dirt at their bases; and another good-sized portion of the yard consisted of large planter boxes. There was plenty of room for all of the cats, even if they chose to be territorial. But Jake wanted no part of that. Sometimes he’d hold it until he came inside, but he never shit on the carpet or anything… my mom would be watering the plants, for instance, and often find one of them had been dug up.

The best, though: my parents kept little pots full of sand as ashtrays around the backyard, for when we had parties and such. Little pots, used for small plants, as in three inches wide and four or five inches tall. There were many occasions when someone was putting out their cigarette, and cat shit came poking up to the top. We never could figure out how Jake pulled that one off.

126

Finally, I will own up that while my pets are lovable, they are not always the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree of life.

I was reminded of that last night, about 2:30 AM. I woke up and had to pee, so I dragged myself to the bathroom. This is an almost nightly occurance. Sitting there on the toilet, I see my ever faithful dog Nick peek around the corner from the hallway at me. Also a nightly occurance. He then turned and *RAN *back down the hall to our bedroom. I knew what he was doing.

I came back to my bedroom, and there was Nick, curled up in my place in bed, head on my pillow, to all outward appearance, sound asleep. I actually had to give him a little swat on the butt to get him to move over to HIS side, which he did with a disgusted groan.

This is pretty much a nightly ritual.

What does he think when he peeks in and sees me sitting on the toilet? “Ah great! She’ll be in there all night, so she won’t mind if I take the nice warm spot on the bed!” Nick… when is the last time you have seen Mama spend the remainder of the night sleeping *sitting up *on the toilet???

Never, sweet boy, never. If I go to pee in the middle of the night… I will be back.

And my cats. sigh They see the dogs begging, and they will come join the line up for tidbits, too. I will offer them a bit of chicken or beef or ham or whatever, and they both act like they want it. Charlie will lick it and actually pretend he is eating it, moving his mouth up and down, but if I actually put the food in his mouth, it just… falls out and he sits there still, looking expectantly up at me with the food lying at his feet until one of the dogs (usually one of the Papillons, who are my doggie geniuses) scarfs it up. Ruby, the other cat, will sniff the food, rubv her cheek on it, but never actually eat it.

The only thing my cats will eat with any regularity is… cat food. From their bowls. Never from my hand or off the floor.

Weird cats.

127

Sydney, our 4 YO English bulldog, has had two poo-related behaviors ever since we brought her home at 8 weeks.

When she has to go, she will find a wall or tree or other solid object, dance around a bit until she’s facing it to her satisfaction and drop her wolf bait.

Then she’ll take a couple of steps and flick dirt and rocks with her back feet, nowhere near the steamer she has just laid. I swear in over four years she’s never once even hit a pile with a pebble or speck of dust.

128

Winston my half beagle is now 1 1/2 years old. He was the hardest dog to house break I ever saw. he would crap or pee in the house at night. I was calling him “Winnie the Poop”. I just kept at it over and over . He has not had an accident in 4 months or so, but I would not be surprised if he did it again. My other beagles were house broken in 2 days. He is really ,really cute .

129

Surely you should have named him Eric.

130

Another brilliant Lucy moment. Really, she is cute as all get out, but sharp as a turnip. I had one of the windows in the living room open last night. She, as her wont, sat in the window for a few hours waiting for Toby, the neigborhood stray to appear so she could freak the hell out. When she hopped out she looked half melted. Brain trust sat in a window, getting rained on, for hours. I hadn’t realized it was raining, that’s my excuse.

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Bwah. :smiley:

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He does not watch Python. Besides I did not name him. I am not allowed to anymore after naming my Shepherd-Gonzo, my siamese -Triskadecaphopia, another siamese -Fourteen , and my other beagle-Nordberg.

133

Ok, surprisingly, I have one, even though I only have reptiles. Here it is:

I am pretty sure my leopard gecko is a female, not that it matters to me. But, (s)he has been digging, I think trying to make a nest.

Well the other day she dug under her water dish. She dug out a huge hole, so when you looked in from the side of the glass you could actually see in. All of the water poured out and the sand clumped together, but the dumb part of it was - she could have easily gotten stuck under there! There is a huge tank to dig in! Of course the SO hates when she digs.

Oh, and she also climbs up the wall. I knew they overestimated their climbing abilities. She thinks she is a regular gecko.

134

Not my pet, but when I was a kid, I’d often play with my neighbor’s pet rabbit. Rabbits are not known to be smart creatures, but that one was super dumb. We’d bring it out to play on the sidewalk, and every time there was an oncoming car, the rabbit would smush itself to the sidewalk, bury its head, and close its eyes. Yeah… if you can’t see it, it can’t see you.

135

One night, we were watching TV, and my wife suddenly realized she didn’t know where Tabitha (the hound dog) was. She called out “Tabby,” and heard a loud THUMP. Tabby had been laying under the coffee table and sat up when she heard her name, thumping her head on the table.

My son waited for Tabby to lay back down and yelled, “Tabby!” THUMP. She did it again. Tabby! THUMP. Tabby! THUMP. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t tell my son to stop it. The dog would lay down, and then leap up and smack her head; lay down, leap up and smack her head.

Dumb as a rock, that one.

We also have a cat (Shadow) who learned to stand on his back legs and scratch at the door (actually, thwack at the door – it’s like a punching bag) when he wants to go out. Now, instead of going to the door, he’ll just stand up at whatever vertical surface happens to be nearby: the wall, the grandfather clock…

When Lena (a.k.a. “pudgy cat”) does that, she looks like a meatloaf with ears.

Been there, done that.