What do you tell to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven’t told her twice before.
That is probably wrong and offensive, but it reminds me of my mom
Here’s one for you Jesus. What’s black and white and red and can’t turn around in an elevator?
a nun with a javelin through her head.
Hey Jesus, what’s the difference between you and a picture of you?
The picture doesn’t scream when you nail it to the wall!
Sorry to hear that. You get beat up a lot as well?
Why do all the girls like Jesus?
Because he’s hung like this
Why can’t Jesus eat M&M’s?
They keep falling through his hands.
What’s white, sticky, and moves across the sky at 1,000 miles per hour?
The Coming of the Lord.
How can Michael Jackson be both a Christian and a Pedophile?
Because he read in the Bible Jesus saying, "Let the little children come on thee."
(I’ve just been inspired to write some Jesus/Mary slashfic. BRB…)
Why did the woman cross the road?
Why was she even out of the kitchen?
Why don’t women always have orgasms during sex?
Who cares?
Now these are horrible and misogynistic. But to be fair, I would really like some man jokes in a similar vein.
huh huh…vein.
Why do all men float?
(You know, like if you tossed them in the lake, they’d float!)
Come on now ladies, I know you know the answer,…
Why do all men float?
Because they’re scum!
(There you go, hope you enjoyed it, don’t forget to tip your servers!)
Christmas is getting so commercialized
… they’ll be dragging religion into it next
Richard Russo told this joke at a lecture in Portland in October.
I figured the world’s most PC crowd would go after him with pitchforks and torches, but it got a good laugh.
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, stop trolling.”
No, really. I think it’s funny (but not ha-ha) funny that you started this thread just after starting one that suggesting people who tell offensive jokes should be shunned. Leaves the impression you’re just yanking people’s chains by telling an offensive joke. Don’t do this again.