The local Las Vegas Bill Heard Chevrolet has a radio/tv ad that says, “If we can’t beat the advertised price of any new Chevrolet, we’ll GIVE you a $50,000 Corvette FREE!”
Now think about it.
DMark: “Hi Mr. Heard. I saw this same car advertised down the street for $25 less than you have it listed.”
Mr. Heard: “Well I’ll be damned. Sorry DMark, but I can’t lower our price by $25 so, here - take the keys to this new $50,000 Corvette instead and we’ll call it even!”
Another ad a few months ago blared, “We guarantee we’ll finance all approved buyers!”
Well…duh.
“If you don’t come see us today, we can’t save you any money!”
If I don’t come see you today, I won’t spend money either.
My biggest pet peeve, is just the “I shot this commercial in my Grandma’s basement” quality of the ads. This entire family is lined up looking stiff as pokers, and then there’s a cut to some Carrot Top or Super-Dave rip off cutesy joke, then back to the family in Grandma’s basement. I wouldn’t buy a car from them, but would donate to a collection barring them from making more commercials.
I remember a commercial for Vern Fonk’s insurance. It had some guy, presumably Vern Fonk, playing Forest Gump, the Rainman, and the guy from Sling Blade. It was shot in that amateur kind of way and the actor did okay impersonations, but all I could think was, “So he’s saying… retards endorse his insurance?”
One was for Crossroads Ford. They typically feature this guy in a goatee strolling through his car lot and talking about all of his Fords. Well, in one particular commercial close to Easter, he spent the duration of the commercial discussing “our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” and ended the commercial with “Praise the Lord, buy a Ford.” Unfortunately, it was only aired once.
Another local dealer (I can’t remember the brand) had a series of commercials featuring the dealership owner and his ‘tween’ daughter. In one of these commercials, the daughter was wearing one of those trendy little tank tops with only one strap. Many of these shirts, particularly the expensive name brand ones, have large loops sewn into the inside seams so you can easily hang the shirt on a coat hanger. Well, this young lady had placed one of these loops over the shoulder that was supposed to be bare. (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a bra; the strap was too narrow and had the same texture as typical clothing loops.)
One local company drives me insane with its ads. Recently, I bought a car, and a friend told me I could have gotten it cheaper if I had gone to that company. I said I’d pay the difference not to patronize them.
XYZ Car Sales, as I’ll call them is owned by a local man. In every ad, he has his ugly children say something that he apparently thinks is cute. That was bad enough.
The new ad just started running. It shows the youngest ugly child singing “America! America” so badly my dog begins to howl and twitch whenever the ad runs. The child doesn’t sing in time to the music, and sings thusly: “AmericaAmericaGodshedhisgraceonthee,” with an utter lack of emphasis. A misty flag waves in the background. The child grumbles the song, hand over her heart.
“Here at XYZ, we * support * the troops and are * PROUD * to be American!” the father intones. The scene shifts to one which shows all of the employees, lined up to spell U-S-A in the sales lot. Quickly, shots of their sign and two angles showing the selection in the lot are shown. In unison, the employees recite, “We’re American all the way!”
This crass mixture of pseudo-patriotism, commercialism, and “family” values ilicits an emotion somewhere between hilarity and rage within me.
There used to be an ad, I think it was for Glen Grant Chevrolet, where his pitch was: “If you can get a better deal anywhere else - you buy it!” Gee thanks, Glen! What is the inducement there?
I remember his ads from his younger days, he would do the commericial standing on his head. “I’ll stand on my head to save you money.” About the same time we had Dick Balch smashing the hoods of brand new Chevrolets with a sledge hammer.
Where I live, I get Cal Worthington ads all the time. They’re somewhat sad now, as it appears that Cal has, for some reason, is forced to use a wheelchair (they never show the lower half of his body). I honestly think he won’t last much longer.
Cal Worthington always has radio commercials on Power 106 in LA. It’s a hip hop radio station and Cal’s spokesman is snoop dog.
“Go down and see Cal and tell em that big snoop dog sent cha”
his phone number is 1800-my-dog-spot
I guess his advertising works since i know the number… damn