Has anyone ELSE ever picked up the telephone receiver, then proceeded to dial the adding machine???
I am a smoker, which means I often have a cigarette when I am driving somewhere. Standard proceedure is to get a cigarette from the box on the passanger seat, light it with my lighter, and then drop the lighter on the seat between my legs so I know where it is and it doesn’t slide around too much.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I do this, I get to my destination, open the door, and slide out of the car, knocking the lighter off the seat and onto the ground in the parking lot.
This is only stupid because I know I do it, its easily avoidable, and yet I do it nearly every time I smoke in my car regardless.
As some kind of employee appreciation thing, my company occasionally has an ice cream truck come by with free ice cream for all the employees. I ordered a Choco Taco, a delicious taco shaped treat with an ice cream cone shell, filled with icecream and topped with hardened chocolate and nuts. It’s completely solid BTW. I proceeded to eat it by holding it upright and tilting my head sideways, like you’d eat an actual taco so the filling doesn’t fall out. My coworkers let me eat the whole thing that way before they pointed out I did not actually have to tilt my head to eat a Choco Taco.
The other day I was fiddling with the window in the bathroom for some reason. This being a fairly old apartment, the sash cord is broken for that window and the sash is held up by a stick of wood. I put the window up and put the piece of wood down, intending to do god knows what. The window stayed up, held by friction, for a few seconds, then whipped down with amazing celerity right onto my poor fingies. Yeesh. I was too startled to swear.
I’ve pulled a few doozies in my time (usually I grammar-whore snark someone’s poor grammar and then pull a Gaudere’s Law a few sentences later - will I never learn?), but that was the most recent example.
Oh yes - one time someone phoned me up while I was asleep; I was so sleep-addled that I responded to their French in Spanish.
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The stapler is not effective as a mouse, no matter how often I try to use it that way.
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I was sitting on my deck last week, reading the paper and fiddling with a lighter. I said to myself “Self,” I said, “Don’t fiddle with this lighter because you’re going to drop it through the deck.” I ignored myself, continued fiddling, then dropped it through the deck.
Yesterday as I was leaving the office, I thought to myself “Oh shit, do I have my phone, I really need to make sure I don’t leave it at work because tonight some folks are coming over who haven’t been to my house before, and people often get lost trying to find my place so I need to make sure they can call me, and also my computer isn’t working so if anyone cancels I won’t get the e-mail, so it’s extra important that I remember to bring my home phone because it’s the only way anyone can get hold of me.” So I rummaged through my bag until I found my phone and decided to put it in the pocket of my bag where it will be more easily accessible in case I get any of the important phone calls I am expecting.
By the time I got to the subway I was obsessively rummaging again, to make double extra sure that I had it. I didn’t. It was on my desk at work.
I once went to a drive-through place to get dinner for me and my wife. I ordered the food, pulled around and gave my money to the guy in the window, and then immediately drove away. The scary thing is that I didn’t even realize that I’d missed a step until I got home, and my wife said, “so where’s the food?” Judging by her hysterical laughter, the look of shock and realization on my face must have been very amusing. I was too embarrassed to go back and get the food, so I made her do it.
I have been sitting here fretfully for twenty minutes wondering when the people who are supposed to be calling me for a phone interview at 3 pm Mountain time will hurry up and call me. I’m in the Eastern Time Zone. That means there is a two hour time difference.
Unfortunately, the time differential is in the opposite direction of what I was thinking, so they won’t be calling me until 5 pm, not 1 pm.
A stupid one that I am still embarrassed to think of:
I would bring in a can of soup to my old job, but the microwave was way in the back, past the warehouse. So I hit upon a great idea. I would dump the soup out into a bowl, and then go to the coffee-maker and get some steaming hot water and put it in the can to bring back to my desk. Then I could mix them together, and presto! hot soup! Well, apparently my mind forgot how hot a METAL can could get when filled with just-below-boiling water. I burned my fingers carrying it back.
Yesterday I turned the heat on instead of the AC, just pressed the wrong button.
I’ve had plenty of coffee-making mishaps, as I didn’t really learn how to make coffee until well into my twenties. Even now that I know how to do it I tend to view new coffeemakers with some apprehension.
There’s plenty more. But I needed to 'fess up on the can one, I really did.
I lost two cell phones by leaving them on the top of my Jeep and driving away. In a two week period.
The first time the nice lady at the Cingular store let me extend my contract and just get a new one.
The second time, no such luck.
I used to put everything on top of my Jeep while I buckled my kids in the back. I have driven around town with kid shoes (they stayed on all through a trip on the highway!), car keys (they were there for days- my husband was driving so I didn’t even miss them), important papers (flew off) and of course, 2 cell phones.
My kids still talk about the cell phone incident.
Oh heck yeah, and vice versa. Almost always when someone else is in my office. :rolleyes:
cowgirl, those are worst, when you think of it ahead of time and swear you have told yourself enough times. I always leave work with this tiny wrinkle in my brain just too small for me to remember that it’s something I need to do. Just enough to know I should stop and think about it and just small enough for me to shake off and disregard. :smack:
I once unlocked the door, sat down and put on my seat belt before I realized “WTF? Why is my car so clean?..oh shit!”
Not my car. Same make and model and key set… parked two cars from mine…
I once leaned down to tighten my shoelaces before leaving work for the day, and only then realized I’d put on non-matching shoes when I got dressed that morning. That topped the time I forgot to put on a bra before leaving for work, and didn’t realize it until 1 in the afternoon.
Then there was the time I leaned against a freshly painted wall. While the painters were still in the room.