So I get a notification from EBay that my credit card/debit card expires this month and called Bank of America to see where my new card is.
They tell me it had been sent to me, but in a blank white envelope.
She offered to send me a new card, but I said I would look through my junk mail (I don’t throw stuff out fast, so had a huge stack to look through).
Spent about 45 minutes going through the junk mail (yeah, I get a lot and really don’t look through it often), and nope - no new BofA card in the mix.
I call back BofA and go through the story again.
We discuss how long it will take to get a new card, and if it is even possible to get one before the end of the year, what with the holidays and all.
She calculates it might be possible and offered to put a stop on the new card, in case anybody stole it.
She then asked if I was still using the old one with the 12/08 expiration date and I said yes as I casually walked over to my billfold, took it out and looked at it.
It was the new card.
I told her to ignore this conversation, walk away slowly and pretend she didn’t get this call and to please delete this entry on her computer call list. She was still giggling as I hung up the phone.
I decided to make an omelet, so got the eggs, butter, and cheese out of the fridge; got a bowl out of the cupboard; started melting the butter in the pan; picked up an egg and broke it … into the egg carton right next to the bowl.
Wife is mildly lactose intolerant & so uses very little milk… She says apple juice goes great on Weetabix, corn flakes, and other low-flavor cereals. OJ, not so much.
Over the years I’ve cataloged many, many ways not to make coffee. I now use a pot I set up the night before which launches itself the next morning from a timer. There are many, many more ways to not make coffee with this set-up. Quite a few of which result in waking up to a mess. Someday I hope to have catalogged them all. But I fear that then I’ll just repeat some of my all time favorites. Damn! Few things more disappointing first thing in the AM than not-coffee.
My favorite way to make not-coffee involves forgetting to empty out the cold coffee that got left in the coffeepot, then making a full pot, so you end up with a counter covered with rapidly spreading coffee. That’s always a great way to wake up.
Yup. I had a coffee faux pas a couple of weeks ago. At work, no less. We have a commercial-grade Bunn maker at work with the extra burner on top and simple controls that starts dripping the coffee as soon as you dump water in it. So I fill up the carafe with water and dump it into the reservoir, whereupon it immediately starts to drip coffee. On the burner. Because the carafe was still in my hands, pouring water into the reservoir.
:smack:
Fortunately no one was there to see the mess I made or witness me trying to cover it up with wads of that crappy paper towel that soaks up about 3ml per 10ft.
My most egregious and most expensive moment of fine-ground, dark-roasted dumbassery, however, was this.
So YOU are the one! Had forgotten which Doper posted that.
I have told this story to many of my college classes and they all find it hilarious.
Thanks for being the brunt of cruel humor in college classrooms here in Las Vegas.
Feel free to pass my idiot story along for merriment and mirth this holiday season as payback.
Last night we had a bunch of gumballs left over from making a gingerbread house. So naturally I popped about four or five of the little buggers and chewed away happily. Then blew a bubble.
And learned why men with moustaches do not blow bubbles, because when it pops they stick. And stay stuck. And hurt when you try to take it off because of how sensitive that area is. I ended up having to use vegetable oil on my lips and 'stache to get it off. I’m glad I didn’t have to shave it off, I woulda been irked.
I once walked 15 minutes to the local grocery store, got to the checkout counter, discovered that my bank card wasn’t in my wallet, apologized profusely to the cashier, walked 15 minutes back to my dorm and tore it apart looking for the bank card. I finally found it.
Woohoo! My colossal idiocy is famous! Hey, if I helped just one person avoid the embarrassment and cost of accidentally nuking expensive electronics, then it has all been worth it.
Odds are though that somewhere, someday, possibly soon, someone will be telling their own cautionary tale of how they popped something in the microwave and then recoiled in horror as they tried to make a call on their pizza pocket.
So you pre-emptively pay a premium for your mistakes ahead of time. But then again, what price dignity?
Did you learn nothing from Kris Kringle in the original Miracle on 34th Street?
Well, I’m also single and unable to drink an entire pot of coffee by myself every day. With the K-cups, I make coffee anytime I want, and if I have friends over, they can have whatever flavor they like. It works good for me.
