Clothes Department:
Food Department Part 1:
Food Department Part 2:
This kind of Idiocy is a sign of an active Mind. (Active on something else mind you).
More examples of things I’ve done…
Put the TV remote in the fridge.
Walk into a lit room and turn the light off.
Walk out of a room with people still in it and turn the light off.
Hold my electonic proximity key (work) up to the hole of my ordinary yale-lock front door at home.
Try to use the door beeper of my car to open my house front door.
Answer the phone at home “Hello, [where I work]. Lobsang Speaking”
The other day I held my hands under the faucet and waited for the water to turn on. It was a manual faucet. :smack:
Well at least you remembered to pour it some where.
On occassion I have.
I also have when in a bar offered my phone to someone needing to make a call., reached into my pocket and with much suaveness handed them my TV remote which I had grabbed instead(well the both have pushy number buttons) but is so natural feeling in my my hand I didn’t notice. You get the oddest look for that one.
That reminds me. I have in all seriousness picked up a TV remote and started dialing a phone number.
Once upon a time the hair gel I used was green in color. So was the shaving gel I used.
One morning, fresh out of the shower and severely under-caff’d, I put a blob of green stuff in my hand and spread it over my face. Wrong green stuff. Back in the shower I go to wash hair gel off my face.
I then got out of the shower, dried off again, put green glop in my hand and spread it through my hair.
Back into shower to wash shaving gel out of my hair.
Everything went right on the third try, but I was 15 minutes late for work.
God, these are great. They make my “why did I walk into this room” moments seem…so comfortingly normal!
Hubby, that you?
I’ve spent eight hours simmering chicken stock, making my apartment smell wonderful the whole time. I then took then next step, which was to strain out the solids.
You can see where this is going, right?
You poured the liquid away?
Last Thursday my boss sent me to the FedEx store. I drove on auto-pilot to Ups, but I missed the turn, so I had to turn around in a driveway - that turned out to be the Fedex driveway, I learned when I drove to the correct place.
You’ll be glad to know that I saved the chicken bones, though.
I think we’ve all had destinesia* at one time or another, so it’s perfectly normal in that we’re all dumbasses in this regard sometimes.
In fact, I have a feeling given that we’ve been insanely, stupidly, absurdly busy at work today that if anyone calls me this evening I’m going to be very pone to answering it with my formal work spiel.
[sub]* Thank Rich Hall for this word.[/sub]
pone? Like it.
Someone else’s moment, but it’s related:
I worked as a cashier in college, at a cafe, and a women came to me claiming she threw her credit card away by accident, having left it on her food tray.
I, good employee that I was, slapped on some rubber gloves and tore through the trash for a good 15 minutes.
Until she checked her wallet.
At least she had the grace to thank me and seem like she felt bad.
Sunday morning after the big snow I am casually walking down the sidewalk when a big chunk of ice flies up from the street and crashes on my left foot. I mutter an expletive and walk home.
I take off my shoes and drink my coffee, sitting at my kitchen table in my stocking feet. As I get up, I hit my left foot on the chair rung and feel a tingle.
Let me say that I have almost no working pain nerves in my feet. When I feel a tingle in my foot, it is the equivalent of your average person going AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH while hopping up and down on their good foot.
I go WTF? and take off my sock. There on top of my foot is a lump that is remarkably the size and color of a plum. I immediately think “oh, a sugar plum.”
I spend the rest of the day with snow on the top of my foot. I am now wearing oversized socks and an untied sneaker on the foot.
I did have fun letting a coworker touch it. He could not believe my total lack of reaction.
And one of my own:
I routinely throw clothes into the trash instead of the hamper. Which are in two different corners of two different rooms, and in no way resemble each other.
It just occured to me that a bra I have been missing for awhile now probably suffered this fate.
Woke up more bleary-eyed than usual and went to feed the very spoiled & pampered dog.
Normal Procedure
a) dump and refill the water bowl
b) scoop 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood (I did mention spoiled & pampered, yes? actually it started with melamine and we just kept doing it)
c) microwave to take the chill off it.
c) insert puppy thyroid pill and 1/4 tsp flaxseed oil into food, and serve
Idiot MOTW Version
a) dump and refill the water bowl
b) scoop 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood and dump it into the water bowl
c) curse, dump out entire contents and rinse bowl
d) scoop another 1/4 cup’s worth of home-cooked puppyfood into now-empty metal water bowl
e) insert metal water bowl containing puppyfood into microwave oven
f) stand there stupidly staring at metal bowl in microwave oven for a count of 20
g) transfer contents to glass dogfood dish and heat in microwave and serve
h) respond to annoyed & displeased spoiled/pampered dog by getting back up and putting water in metal bowl for her. apologize to dog.
Heh.
When my GF’s cat’s bowl gets empty, he gets a bit enthusiastic about getting it filled. He’ll try to eat out of the jar, out of the scoop, or out of thin air if he can. He’ll usually bump your arm while rubbing up against you, thus spilling the contents of the scoop. Once the food is poured, he’ll dive in voraciously, as if he hasn’t been fed in YEARS.
One bleary-eyed morning, GF accidentally dumped the food in his water dish. I’m told that he just looked her in the face as if to say “I can’t believe you just did that.”
No way. You didn’t just wait, did you? You actually moved your hands around a bit under the faucet in a futile effort to trigger the sensor. What do I win?
I have worn two different socks to work and my shirt inside out. AND NOBODY SAID ANYTHING either time! :o