Really stupid question about dog anatomy

Factual Questions
1

Disclaimer: I know where all my OWN naughty bits are, thankyewverymuch. I’m not THAT stupid.

So here’s the dumb question: Where exactly are a female dog’s external genitalia and urethral opening located?

I ask because we just had our two female springers clipped REALLY close for the first time. They’ve been groomed and clipped before, but they always seemed to have enough fluff left on their back ends to save a little bit of their dignity. This time . . . well, I think I’m looking right up their hootchies. They’ve got a little lumpy, er, thing right below the anus. Is that it? (I’m not about to go grabbing it for a closer look, either.)

Please don’t laugh. (Well, OK, you can answer my question, and then laugh all you want.) It’s not like I ever need to go poking around in their nether regions. When they’re all furry, nothing’s visible. We rub their bellies down into the soft pink zone, but I’ve never noticed anything that looks like a hole. I tried Googling, but variations of “canine reproductive anatomy” returned dry veterinary sites with either slides of dissections (ew) or descriptions that were about as helpful as a sixth-grade sex-ed class (“When a mommy doggie and a daddy doggie love each other very, very much . . .”). You don’t want to know what kind of hits I got when I went with the more vernacular “dog vagina.” Double ew. Not interested in that kind of puppy love.

I can’t believe I’m actually going to post this question. Mr. S would probably laugh me out of town.

2

[QUOTE=Scarlett67]
Disclaimer: I know where all my OWN naughty bits are, thankyewverymuch. I’m not THAT stupid.

So here’s the dumb question: Where exactly are a female dog’s external genitalia and urethral opening located?

I ask because we just had our two female springers clipped REALLY close for the first time. They’ve been groomed and clipped before, but they always seemed to have enough fluff left on their back ends to save a little bit of their dignity. This time . . . well, I think I’m looking right up their hootchies. They’ve got a little lumpy, er, thing right below the anus. Is that it? (I’m not about to go grabbing it for a closer look, either.)

Please don’t laugh. (Well, OK, you can answer my question, and then laugh all you want.) It’s not like I ever need to go poking around in their nether regions. When they’re all furry, nothing’s visible. We rub their bellies down into the soft pink zone, but I’ve never noticed anything that looks like a hole. I tried Googling, but variations of “canine reproductive anatomy” returned dry veterinary sites with either slides of dissections (ew) or descriptions that were about as helpful as a sixth-grade sex-ed class (“When a mommy doggie and a daddy doggie love each other very, very much . . .”). You don’t want to know what kind of hits I got when I went with the more vernacular “dog vagina.” Double ew. Not interested in that kind of puppy love.

I can’t believe I’m actually going to post this question. Mr. S would probably laugh me out of town.
[/QUOTE]

Dog anatomy is somewhat different than human. The vulva contains not only the entrance to the vagina, but to the urethra as well. While in a human female there are three holes, externally on a dog there are only two. The urethra and vagina share a common outside orifice. Located below the anus, easily identified by it’s circular shape with a cone shaped clump of fur in the middle. Where she pees is the place.
I know this because our family pet, and my wife’s daily companion, Foxie got sick and was originally diagnosed with cancer, but after ultrasounds, x-rays, blood work, etc was re-diagnosed with pnemonia (easily treated) and fat deposits that looked like tumors on the x-ray, but was easily identified as fat deposits by the ultrasound. During the two weeks of hell that we thought our beloved pup was dying, I learned more about dog anatomy than I ever wanted to know. Meetings with the vets and getting explainations of the images, test results etc. Fox will be fine, as long as we give the antibiotics for another week, and excersize her more, and lay off the table scraps.

3

How scary! I would have been beside myself. Glad your sweetie is OK.

I might as well mention that this is not the only time we’ve been confused by critter bits. Several years ago a stray cat had a couple of litters in our barn, and being suckers, we named them, got them neutered and vaccinated, etc. One was a yellow male named Guy with distinctive white stripes on his tail. One day Guy up and disappeared. Several months later a yellow cat with the familiar striped tail showed up, all beat to hell from a fight. After dropping 50 clams on “Guy” at the vet, we brought him home. Next time he got loose, he came back all beat up again. After that I started to get suspicious and checked him out.

“Um, honey, remember how we got Guy fixed?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, then, what are THOSE?”
“Er, um, there’s always a little something left behind, like fat pads or something, right?”
“Yeah, a little, but those things are HUGE. . . . Unless he grew them back, I don’t think this is Guy.”

I made the embarrassing call to the vet, who told us to bring him on in for an inspection. He took one peek under the tail and said, “Yup, this isn’t your cat. He’s still got all his business.”

:smack:

Long story short, we got TOMMY BOY (appropriate name; he’s not only male, but a dumbshit) fixed, and after his hormone levels went down, all was well. He still likes to go out and get his ass kicked now and then.

Never did see Guy again.

Thanks for the elucidation.

4

Glad that I could share that knowledge, I paid dearly for it, but it was worth every penny to keep Foxie with us.

5

The weirdest was when a tech at the Humane Society I was working for walked in with a dog and asked “is this a boy or a girl?” The answer was “Yes”. The only one I have ever seen and I’ve been in veterinary medicine as a receptionist/tech for almost 25 years on and off. I would type out the entire name but don’t know how to spell it and am too lazy to look it up at the moment. Herm…

We ended up sending the dog to one of our vets, who called asking permission to send it to Auburn University. I gave permission - because the dog was quite aggressive I most likely wouldn’t have been able to adopt it out, and at least this way the poor thing did some good for education of future vets.

6

Seems the OP was answered so hope a bit of a hijack is ok (but still along the same lines).

I have refused to own a male dog since, well, forever. I find their predilection for humping things annoying but more than that I just really hate rubbing their tummy and banging into their business (yes I know to avoid it but it happens…I won’t even get into them having a hardon). So for me it has always been female dogs.

But with cats I have never found this to be an issue. Thinking they would be the same I was always careful but over time I relaized I just never noticed his thing…ever really. Now like Scarlett67 I am curious but neither am I going to go poking about for a close inspection (aside from it seeming a bit rude and perverted he has claws and is willing to use them…I would if someone was poking about down there unless she was really cute).

So where do male cats keep it? If not built like dogs is it just that they have a wee willie or does it retract or something? He is much furrier back there than a dog but still…gotta be in there somehwere.

7

It retracts and is not nearly as obivious as with a male dog, but it is there. I have had the unfortunate experience of viewing a few before the carriers thereof were neutered.

And they are barbed, also! Totally changed my mind about wanting my next existence to be a cat!

8

[QUOTE=Scarlett67]
So here’s the dumb question: Where exactly are a female dog’s external genitalia and urethral opening located?
[/QUOTE]

Not dumb, just lazy. You have a tongue, don’t you?! :dubious:

9

[QUOTE=Snakescatlady]
And they are barbed, also! Totally changed my mind about wanting my next existence to be a cat!
[/QUOTE]

Doesn’t a dog’s willie inflate (or something) which sort of makes them attached to the female for a bit? I seem to recall a video with two poodles going at it and the female decided to take off with the poor male being dragged sideways by his penis yelping (lord knows I’d yelp at the least).

Or am I remembering wrong?

10

to whack a mole.

I have had a dog with me all my life, and I have to say I agree with you. Not only are the females less potentially offensive, in my experience they are more even tempered and integrate into the the family much better.

I must qualify that this massive experience involves four dogs in almost fifty years.

Humans, the females are not so even tempered. Even after neutering.

I must qualify that this massive experience involves two women in almost fifty years.

Cats, I am not much of a cat person, so could not say anything one way or another, I just don’t know.

11

[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
Not dumb, just lazy. You have a tongue, don’t you?! :dubious:
[/QUOTE]

Ew, gross, you sicko!
good one :smiley:

Whack-a-Mole, we prefer female dogs for similar reasons. Not only do males have to stop and mark everything in sight,* but we like petting that warm, soft, pink girly doggie belly, sans “lipstick.”

*Actually, my female shepherd/lab mix likes to mark also, although probably not as much as a male. So much for the stereotype.

12

Yep. See here for a diagram – the bulbus glandis in the middle swells during ejaculation and locks the two animals together.

13

[QUOTE=Scarlett67]
Ew, gross, you sicko!
good one :smiley:

Whack-a-Mole, we prefer female dogs for similar reasons. Not only do males have to stop and mark everything in sight,* but we like petting that warm, soft, pink girly doggie belly, sans “lipstick.”

*Actually, my female shepherd/lab mix likes to mark also, although probably not as much as a male. So much for the stereotype.
[/QUOTE]

Does your female ever “paw you”?

14

[QUOTE=Whack-a-Mole]
Seems the OP was answered so hope a bit of a hijack is ok (but still along the same lines).

I have refused to own a male dog since, well, forever. I find their predilection for humping things annoying but more than that I just really hate rubbing their tummy and banging into their business (yes I know to avoid it but it happens…I won’t even get into them having a hardon). So for me it has always been female dogs.

But with cats I have never found this to be an issue. Thinking they would be the same I was always careful but over time I relaized I just never noticed his thing…ever really. Now like Scarlett67 I am curious but neither am I going to go poking about for a close inspection (aside from it seeming a bit rude and perverted he has claws and is willing to use them…I would if someone was poking about down there unless she was really cute).

So where do male cats keep it? If not built like dogs is it just that they have a wee willie or does it retract or something? He is much furrier back there than a dog but still…gotta be in there somehwere.
[/QUOTE]

Cat penises are really small and retracted. The reason I know this is because when I was working as a vet tech, a lady brought in a 46.5 lb :eek: housecat who had gone into liver failure due to his obesity. The poor thing could barely stand up, and was as about twice as wide as he was tall. Anywho, said cat needed to have a catheter inserted, I don’t remember exactly why. There was so much fat around the penis area that it was quite difficult to even find the penis, which had to be unretracted with a tweezers. It was about 3/4" long and very thin. It took the vet about an hour to finally get the catheter inserted. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

15

Oh, and we had a female weimaraner who marked as much as our male did, even going so far as to lift her leg to mark trees. It was pretty funny. But she didn’t “paw” us, I don’t think. What exactly do you mean by that?

16

Yeah, and the really freaky thing is that sometimes after getting it hooked up the male dog will dismount, and face the other direction. It just doesn’t look comfortable.

17

Not sure what you mean by “paw” me, but it makes me think of when Dottie “gives me a paw.” It’s most frequently in the morning when I’m petting her as she sits by the side of the bed (we sleep on a low futon) and she’ll put her right paw in my hand. I’ve read that it’s a submissive gesture, which totally fits with her personality. We thought about teaching her to “Gimme five!” (I think “Shake hands” is kind of lame), but once I found out what it was about, it just seemed wrong to turn it into a trick. It’s such a sweet little thing.

(She’s not all sweetness and light; she also likes to sit on Phyllis’s head.)

18

from Scarlett67

I was thinking of when a dog pushes at you with a paw, or almost scratches at you. I was watching a program on Discovery about canine behavior, it said that dogs have scent glands between the pads of thier feet, and that such behavior is often a form of marking. So while the dog gives you her paw saying “I’m yours” she is also telling the rest of the world “This one is mine”.

Of course this is just what the show said, I have done no research on it and have no cite from a more credible source. I am not so naive as to think “I saw it on TV so it must be true”, but it fits with personal observations.