Reason Totters On Its Throne: An Accredited Astrology School!

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) - The stars were favorably aligned this month for the Astrological Institute, says founder Joyce Jensen, whose students learn to write horoscopes and give advice about the future. The modest school in suburban Phoenix won accreditation from a federally recognized body in what’s believed to be a first for a school of astrology. Now the institute can seek approval from the U.S. Education Department for its students to get federal grants and loans.

From her observation of the celestial array, Jensen said she now sees that “this was a very good time” for her school. But Jensen - a 60-year-old Scorpio - also noted she’s been seeking accreditation for years, and wouldn’t have stopped no matter what the stars indicated. Her institute, where courses include a “master class on the asteroid goddesses” and “how to write an astrological column,” offers one program: a diploma in astrology and psychology.

The institute received accreditation from the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges of Technology after demonstrating that its teachers are qualified and that its graduates can be placed in jobs, said Elise Scanlon, head of the Arlington, Va.-based commission. Judith Eaton, head of the Council for Higher Education Accreditation in Washington, said the accreditation doesn’t validate astrology, but only recognizes that the school fulfills what it promises its students.

With the respectability of accreditation and the possibility of financial aid, Jensen, an astrologer herself, hopes to draw younger people more interested in astrology as a profession than a know-thyself pursuit. Many of the students now are in their 30s.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist who heads the Hayden Planetarium in New York, noted astrology was discredited 600 years ago with the birth of modern science. “To teach it as though you are contributing to the fundamental knowledge of an informed electorate is astonishing in this, the 21st century,” he said. Education should be about knowing how to think, Tyson said. “And part of knowing how to think is knowing how the laws of nature shape the world around us. Without that knowledge, without that capacity to think, you can easily become a victim of people who seek to take advantage of you.” Jensen is familiar with such criticism. “It’s quite obvious that he hasn’t studied the subject,” she said.

All I know is this:

Marie Claire magazine said I would meet a famous person in July who would change my life forever and finally give me the break I was waiting for.

AND IT DIDN’T FUCKING HAPPEN.

So Joyce Jensen can take her fucking stars and shove 'em up her smelly twat.

And yes, the bitterness is like an orange peel steeped in Starbucks’ coffee.

Yeah, I still feel badly about having to cancel that trip. Sorry. I’ll make it up to you this winter and get out to Chi-town, OK?

This is good news indeed!!
Perhaps there is hope for my lifelong dream of starting the College of Unethical Business Practices and Scams after all. We need to cut out the amateurism inherent in the pickpocket industry, and much better regulation in the scamming of old people into buying aluminum siding and robot insurance. I would offer degrees in Florida Real Estate Development, RV repair, a symposium on the Pigeon Drop as well as a Skimming through the ages elective.
I for one am glad that we’re finally seeing some regulation across the board in the astrology industry. I think that ununiform standards, and unqualified practitioners have sullied this noble profession for far too long. Now of course we will start to see a much higher pickup in accuracy. (And what’s that “and psychology” all about?)

no, see, jarbaby, this is the problem. Marie Claire’s astrologist must not have graduated from an accredited school.

Astrology still has something to offer you, my sweet. But the person must be QUALIFIED!

What’s the curriculum like there? Advanced Phrenology? Sheep Augury 101? Maybe some career courses like “How to Put the “Fancy” in your -Mancy”?

I just want to know where the Seventh House is…seems all the parties end up there.

jarbaby

Fuck … it would have to be Scottsdale, wouldn’t it?

That’s right next door to me! I feel like I’m guilty by association.

Hmmm … maybe I should get me some of that federal funding and start a new career :rolleyes:

Don’t forget money laundering

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=80755

What about aquamancy, cartomancy, tea leaves, and other reliable predictors of fortune? And I personally would like to participate in a seminar on Bridge Sales Made Easy. If I could just increase the number of publicly-owned bridges I sell by just one a month, I could afford the aluminium siding my neighbor is trying to sell me…

The only criteria necessary for federal assistance are to have qualified teachers and to ensure that graduates can be placed in jobs???

So I could start Scott’s School of Therapeutic Biomagnetism, hire a bunch of biologists and physicists (who can teach students all about magnetism and human anatomy), and then give them jobs selling bracelets and insoles guaranteed to relieve muscle pain? I mean, there’s at least as much science involved in magnetic insoles as there is in astrology, right?

I can’t believe the government is funding a hobby. That’s right, astrology is a hobby at best. It’s fun to draw up someone’s chart, and then read up all about the supposed physical and sociological significance of your birthdate. But it has nothing to do with scientific fact.

Now I’m off to write my grant proposal for Scott’s School of Origami. :rolleyes:

I assumed you were talking about Seattle, EVE, because they’ve accredited one here. It was the subject of a Seattle Weekly article that you can read here You’ll note that the Washington school claims it is the first accredited astrology school; I assume the difference is that it is talking about state accreditation, not federal.

The Seattle Weekly cover asks “Does [an astrology school] degrade education?” Hmmm. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “yes.”

:rolleyes:

I was going to make some long comment on the myriad of problems this causes, but I’m so disgusted I can’t be bothered. What a complete fucking joke.

Joke all you want to. I mean hell, with this subject it’s like shooting monkeys in a barrel full of monkeys holding fish and bending over.

Go on, I say. Let them have their fun. Make up the damn astrology school. It’s not like we can convince any of those wackos to listen to reason. But this…

…is truly what the rant should be about. Fuck you for thinking you can take my tax money to support this assinine project. Fuck you for taking my education money so you can teach other people to remain uneducated. Want a prediction? When my foot aligns with Uranus, you’ll know the Universe is truly in harmony.

Why can’t our accreditted astrologists use their mythical powers to get their OWN money for scholarships? I mean, they know everything!

See? There’s more to learn about astrology every day! :smiley:

I read the article about the Seattle school while waiting for my burger to be cooked last week - and as little as I think of astrology, after having read it, I’m not as against the idea as I was.

Not a degree I would want, not a qualification I can ever imagine looking for - but not as wholly loopy an idea as it came across on first hearing about it.

But perhaps I’ve been hanging out with the wrong people.

I’m with Enderw24 on this one. I spend my time fighting ignorance; why should I spend my tax dollars cultivating it.

I say we start a letter-writing campaign to get the government to offer us a choice to not have any of our money go towards this bullshit.

This reminds me of the [true] story of when I went to see my brother at a SUNY college one September. I met one of his roommates and chatted with him for a little while.

Me: “So, [my brother] had a good summer. He liked
his job.”
Him: “I didn’t have such a great summer.”
Me: “What did you do?”
Him: “I had an internship.”
Me: “Sounds good. What kind?”
Him: “Umm, with a astrologer/numerologist.”
Me [after cleaning wax from my ears]: “As in a psychic?”
Him: “Yes.”
Me: “Oh. Sounds like it could be fun. What was the
problem?”
Him [straightfaced]: “She was a crook! I couldn’t believe
it!”
Some people.

Hmmmmm.

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius . . .