Hoping someone has some suggestions about bereavement forums/chats, websites?
My husband passed away last month, and things have been … difficult.
I know I need some help, but I’m not yet ready to speak with someone in person.
Would appreciate any thoughts, or suggestions that have helped others.
Thanks so much.
Im very sorry for your loss and I’m sure someone will come along with a better answer soon. When my sister died, I did some volunteer work on a cause important to her.
I am so sorry. My husband’s death was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Back then I hung out pretty much all day every day at a forum here:
Unfortunately (for me), after a few years that forum morphed into a Facebook group and FB chats. I’m not on FB so that didn’t work for me. Maybe you will be able to access them and will find them helpful. But there are other resources listed at that link. Do explore some of them.
I’d advise you to keep searching for a support group/forum for widowed people (whether married or not, of whatever gender). Our experience is not like losing a parent, sibling, or (God forbid) a child.
All the best to you.
Can’t say I know of bereavement forums. I’m sure there are some.
First off- you’re struggling with his death is perfectly understandable. It’s an important grief step.
Give yourself a break. It’s ok. Your grief and others will not be the same. Don’t compare.
I struggled mightily when my father died.
How I came away from some of that was talking. Talking. To anyone who would listen.
I had to break away from that, as well.
My siblings were tired of it.
I started journaling. That helped.
I dove into clearing out his houses and selling his stuff no one could adopt. That was the hardest.
But each step brought me closer to acceptance. Which is the goal.
Don’t rush yourself. I’m well over 5 years out and I miss that man, everyday.
The difference is I can function.
Very sorry for your loss.
When I struggled with depression, I eventually forced myself to participate in activities with others. New normalcy is established by repetition, and it becomes easier as routines and relationships are established. Forums might help, but there is no replacement for in person fellowship.
I’m very sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing for you.
When my parents died, i took some time to sit at home and mourn, and then i cautiously re-entered society: work and square dancing. I got a lot of hugs from my square dancing friends, which helped. But just being busy at work may have helped more.
I don’t have any suggestions for good forums. But if you have close friends, preferably close friends who are physically, as well as emotionally, close to you, i recommend leaning on them.
Just adding my condolences, for whatever micro-value it has when a stranger on the internet sympathizes.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfort and peace.
@Wallet I am so very sorry for your loss. Over on City-Data there is a unfortunately dedicated to Grief and Mourning.
➜ Grief and Mourning Forum - Bereavement, healing - City-Data Forum ■
I don’t know how good it is or how helpful the people there are.
I am really sorry to hear about your loss.
I hope it might help if I tell you about my experience.
When I was in my 50s, my parents passed within a month of each other.
I was absolutely shattered.
I was recommended to try grief counselling with Cruse (in the UK.)
On my first visit, a very sympathetic counsellor explained several things:
this first visit could help both of us decide if further visits would help
there are typically several stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)
I was an orphan
This last remark struck a chord with me. I thought orphans were children in Victorian novels by Charles Dickens. But now I was one.
I went about six times for private chats and it really helped.
I went through all five stages of grief - but at least I knew it was ‘natural’.
Of course I still miss them (nearly 20 years later), but it’s as wonderful memories - and after the counselling I was able to go back to work and cope with life.
I wish you all the best.
I talked to both a social worker and a psychotherapist after my mom died. (I’d made the appointment with the therapist before she passed, to help me cope with my brothers’ denial of her impending death, and my mother’s wish to die quickly, not slowly.) The social worker was actually much more helpful. If you do seek professional help, don’t be shy about switching horses if you don’t click with the first person you reach out to. For that matter, reach out to multiple friends, one may be more helpful than others.
Wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts.
In the last year and a half I’ve only left the house to take my husband to doctors or hospitals. I tried to never leave him alone, and I never minded being his caregiver 24/7. He really was the love of my life 
Sorry to complain.
Oh, sweetie. Its not a complaint. It’s a cry for help.
I’m not sure how much help we are, but I do feel for you.
You’ve had a slog to get through.
Don’t feel guilty about getting out alittle. Walks or maybe a shopping trip.
Visit a friend.
Come over, we can just sit and visit.
Sometimes when I was struggling, just a hand holder was relief.
Keep venting here if it helps.
I, for one, am hearing you.
My daughter was killed in a car crash almost a year ago, and I still cry and get sad every day. It isn’t getting any easier to bear. I’m still messed up by it and so’s the rest of our family.
@Johanna , are you see a grief counselor?
Not exactly. I have a social worker to talk to. I slept through our last virtual appointment and now I owe him an apology.
{{{hugs}}} so sorry for your loss, wish I knew the words to bring comfort.
Loss is very hard, and my heart goes out to anyone dealing with it – especially in the first year or two when it’s often most painful.
If anybody here is dealing with a loss to suicide in particular, know that there are suicide bereavement support groups that help dealing with this kind of loss. Here’s one site that can help you find such groups:
That’s not a complaint, it’s a love letter, and a beautiful one at that.
I am so sorry for your loss, and my wish is that we all find a love like you’ve had.