Most people in the thread talking about how it’s his business if he wants to smoke and the OP should chill out seem to be overlooking this:
If you’re not spending quality time together with your partner because you’re falling asleep after partaking, then it’s no longer just your business. I think it’s acceptable for the OP to say that it would be appreciated if the partner didn’t smoke before the OP came over. If the partner puts smoking up before the OP, well, we know what happens then.
Eh, based on one side of the story.
Let me throw this out.
IMO its also perfectly valid for you to be okay with other folks doing pot and still not be okay with your partner smoking it at ANY level.
So, if you decide, after some reflection, that you just don’t like it period, don’t let others guilt you about being some prudish tight ass. You have the right to live the way YOU want to.
Whatever. The OP seems genuinely concerned about the state of the relationship and conflicted about whether her SO’s drug use is a reasonable thing to be concerned about.
If you want to cast your benefit of the doubt to the SO because he smokes pot, and give advice based on that presumption, that’s your business. Barring further information, the OP’s story seems quite plausible to me.
The OP is a man.
I haven’t said that his story is implausible, merely that it is inevitably biased. This is not some argumentative legerdemain I’m trying to pull. I’m simply saying that pot use does not necessarily make his SO into an irresponsible zombie, and that the OP, as fair as he’s obviously trying to be, is biased by his own baggage. He even acknowledges that multiple times.
Whoops, sorry OP!
If he was goofy, space cadetty, and cleaning the living room when you got home would it have been a little more attractive? 
I’m sort of serious though because it brings me to something in the OP:
[quote=]
My main concern, I guess, is that I’m not sure I like interacting with someone who is frequently in an altered state. I come to find he is doing this more frequently recently and it explains a lot of things I’ve been noticing - Zoning out, forgetting things, falling asleep rather than doing things together. I feel that he’s an adult and can do whatever he wants, but if it’s starting to affect our time together, maybe something needs to change. Or maybe it’s just my imagination running wild now that I know all this information.
[/quote]
Maybe the ultimatum here shouldn’t be “the weed or me”. Maybe it should be “you can’t be a boring couch potato all the time”. A State license to smoke weed isn’t a license to be a bum. For god’s sake there’s plenty of daily weed smokers who are skier or surfers. Plenty of people smoke a little and go out dancing, see a movie, go play pool or whatever.
Now I gotta go. That living room isn’t going to clean itself!
Nah. My problem wasn’t that he was being a couch potato. It was that he was in an altered state that was noticeably apparent, to such an extent that I knew what he was doing without him even telling me (he didn’t hide it, though). For instance, he’d laugh at things that I said as if I was suddenly as funny as Chris Rock, and he lacked the ability to string together intelligent sounding sentences. The stoned expression on his face was also unflattering. In other words, he was a different person on the stuff. And not the person I wanted to spend the evening around.
The OP’s concern probably doesn’t have anything to do with his partner being a bum. If he’s anything like me, it’s merely being stoned in his presence that would be unsettling.
Do you know his HIV status? And before you get indignant that some straight guy is assuming based on stereotypes, I’m not straight. But the first thing that popped into my head was “HIV medical prescription”. I apologize if that’s not the case, but the possibility should be at least looked at.
Sweet Lord. You can rest easy. I doubt any straight man would have jumped to that thought.
youwiththeface, I hear what you’re saying but that generally would have to do with a guy not knowing his limits. Anyone who gets stoned enough to turn into an idiot for when his SO comes home needs a talking to.
Ok I hope I can be an informative voice of reason about this.
Honestly, this doesn’t sound like a big deal. You are not very familiar with cannabis, so I’ll start there. Cannabis intoxication is very mild when compared to say, alcohol intoxication. Honestly, the buzz is slightly stronger than dayquil, and considerably less potent than nightquil. It lasts about 2-4 hours, and there aren’t really any hangover like symptoms the next day. I wouldn’t say it’s healthy, but it is much healthier than alcohol. There’s no evidence that cannabis causes physical dependency, but it is very psychologically habit forming.
Why does he use it? The most likely answer is that it’s fun. It provides mild euphoria, makes funny things funnier, tasty snacks tastier. As far as medical reasons, it is an excellent nausea reliever, and works well as a sleep aid. It provides a relaxed, natural feeling sleep, as opposed to that groggy knocked out feeling that ambien gives you. I can’t testify to any other real medical benefits, but people make all sorts of claims.
As for your situation, I think it is more troubling that he felt the need to hide it from you than that he’s actually using. Since he has a prescription, you don’t have many legal issues, although this could change if he brought it out of state. But don’t worry, the feds aren’t going to come to your home and knock down your door over this. If you still like being in a relationship with him, I’d say something like “Just don’t do it around me, and don’t do it all day everyday.” If you demand that he stop, he’s most likely not going to. Not because the allure of the demon weed is so powerful, but because nobody likes being told what to do or being given ultimatums.