Red Cheeks and Anxiety

<begin rant>

Thank you for pointing out that my cheeks are getting red. Your insight has actually helped my situation by encouraging my face to further become a tomato in front of this large crowd. What was that? Did you ask why my cheeks are red? Is it so hard to understand that I am embarrassed? Have you ever heard of anxiety or are you so caught up in your own little bubble of life that you have never considered other people’s problems or feelings? Yes, thank you, I am very tall. What the fuck was that suppose to mean? Is that supposed to mean that tall people who have anxiety with red cheeks are circus freaks or something? No, I do not take any medications. Yes, I know that taking medication is an option, but I do not see this as much of a problem as you obviously do. Your observations tonight are quite intriguing but for now… just go fuck yourself.

<end rant>

Ah, that feels better.

:o

:o <---- Gee, yer cheeks are red.

:: ducks::

ummm…

You are posting about it on a message board… and you don’t think it is a problem?

people who don’t think they need medication usually need it more than the people who do think they need it.

Wow, the nerve of some people not being sympathetic to the problem caused by your sympathetic nerve.

http://www.handsweat.com/facial_blushing.html

merge, the OP is a rant about people who bring it up and call attention to it. Where’s the problem with that? The post is not about the fact that the condition exists, the problem exists with the morons who call attention to it.

At least that’s how I took it.

Color me confused…

Thank you for pointing out that my balls are getting blue. What was that? Circus animals?

The problem lies more in the inconsiderate person who was pointing out my red cheeks.

The nice thing about acquaintances is that YOU can choose which ones you want to keep as friends. Sorry about the episode. That was pretty crappy of someone.

Yes, but I do have a dreaded public speaking class coming up within the next couple of semesters of college. Maybe Merge was right because I have no clue how I’m going to get through that.

:frowning:

Anyone here with similar struggles who would like to offer some advice?

Oooh, speech classes. :frowning: I always hated mine back in high school (and I have to complete another speech class for one of my degrees now. I’m trying to get out of that requirement as we speak). Even when I know the people I’m around and feel relaxed in a classroom setting, if you put me up in front to do a speech, oy!

I feel my face flushing and get that tingly-hot feeling on my face. My breath starts getting faster and shallower. Many times I need to consciously control my breathing because I start to get light-headed and dizzy.

The only thing I’ve found to work is to have the appearance of “yeah, I know my face is red. Ah well, shit happens, eh?” And if some jackass comments with, “Her her! Yer face is fuckin RED!”, just reply with an offhand, “yep it is”, or something along those lines. Giving the appearance of not caring (even when you do) works wonders. And c’mon, if you feel embarrassed about playing cool, what’s gonna happen? You’re face is already red, right?

Oh, and a possible tip for speech class (YMMV, definitely, it depends on the person) : Don’t over-prepare! I find when I write copious notes or detailed outlines, etc, I start panicking because I feel I must stick to the outline no matter what! Did I mention that point? Oh, did I cover that? Shit, I might forget that! This increases the amount of face-blushing and bad breathing, too. I’m also more likely to go over the time limit if I do that. The best grades I ever received on speeches were ones where I knew the topic well, and only wrote out the most basic outline and basically made it up as I went along. Much less stress, you naturally have more eye-contact with your audience, and it’s easier to gauge your time limit (if you’re going over with a detailed outline, you can’t figure out on the fly what to cut out when you’re panicking; with a tiny outline, you can mentally cut and paste as you go).

Oh good Lord yes. I blush at the top of a hat. I blush, literally, on command, just because someone is looking at me. When I get nervous, it’s tomato city (also blotches on the neck and chest. Charming, no?).

I also had to take not one, but TWO public speaking courses in college, and the first couple of speeches I had to give were as hellish as I expected. The cool thing, though, is that the courses are designed to make you a good public speaker. And the better you get at speaking in public, the less nervous it makes you (plus all the faces in class get to be familiar, which helps).

That said, I will also share a bit of advice that I got in my “feedback” sessions. In my classes, you’d give a speech, and then stay at the front of the room while people in the class commented on what you did well and what you needed to work on. One of mine was that the blushing/blotchiness was distracting from my speech-- people were watching it develop and feeling badly for me for being so nervous. The helpful thing to come of that was that I learned to wear high-necked shirts when I knew I was going to speak-- it covered up a lot of the problem.

The other was that I gave up trying to remain calm before the speech. I never succeeded-- I’d get right up until I was walking to the front and then I’d start in with the nerves. So, I indulged in nerves before going up, which made my cheeks red in advance. That way, no one got to see me blush, because I was already blushing when I got up there.

Anyway, for the classes, just keep in mind that every single person in there is going through the same hell. They’re synpathetic to you, and will be as nice to you as you are to them. It’s not so bad, once you get used to it.

I found that the more I did the speeches, the easier it got, and I was someone who despised talking in front of a group. I also had to train myself that nobody in the audience is going to know if I accidentally misspoke a word, or if I had changed the order of points in a speech. If I didn’t indicate I’d made a mistake, they had no idea. If I meant to use one adjective, but used another that meant the same thing, I learned never to call attention to it by saying ‘Oh, excuse me, I meant…’, because they had no idea there was an error.

Also, pauses are OK. If you forget a word, pause for a couple of seconds. What to you feels like an eternity is probably not that long. The audience will notice your pause less if you do not say ‘Ummmm’ to cover the silence.

Look above their heads, especially if you are on a raised platform. You can talk to the back wall all day, and it’ll look like you’re making eye contact. Do not word for word memorize a speech or take it written out on a sheet of paper to read from. It’ll lead to more problems if you skip a sentence or can’t figure out what line you’re on. Memorize your key points, make a few notes on cards if it helps, but by and large realize that the exact wording of your speech is going to change when you get up there. Nobody, unless reading from a teleprompter, reads a speech in exactly the same words that they planned.

Ask for a podium or a lecturn. It gives a sense of security by giving you something to ‘hide behind’ while speaking, allows you a place to put your hands so that you’re not fidgety, and helps promote a general sense of security as an anchor point. You can always move around and return to the podium if you need to, and it will give you a place to rest your notes so you’re not fumbling through them.

If at all possible, use a slide presentation with an overhead. Dimming the lights and giving the audience something to focus on instead of yourself can take a lot of the pressure off, because you know they’re not staring at you, they’re looking at the slides.

Don’t feel you have to use big, complicated words in your speech if you are more comfortable using smaller ones. Speak in language that is comfortable to you, that accurately describes your point, and you’ll be less prone to make mistakes. Know the topic, so that if you get stuck up there, you’ll be able to find some fact or piece of information to unstick yourself.

If you’re nervous, you’re nervous. That’s not something that goes away quickly. I’ve been lecturing as an instructor at a college for nearly two years, and every term on the first day of class, I’m nervous as hell. I get nervous at commencement every time I give the faculty address. The audience will not make a big deal of your nervousness unless you do, occasional asshole aside. The nervousness will lessen as you go on, but may never completely disappear. One of the things I do is try to imagine that I’m not giving a speech, but having a conversation. I try to engage the audience a bit, toss out a couple questions (ask them how they’re doing, get them nodding ‘Yes’, develop a little rapport).

Mostly, remember, if you’re in a speech class, everyone else there is probably as terrified at talking in front of people as you are. Nobody’s going to laugh at you because they don’t want you laughing at them when it’s their turn.

G’luck up there. Remember to zip your fly. :wink:

Yeah. Do what at least 30% of concert muscians do.
40 mg of propranolol. It works for a couple of hours. It blocks the effect of adrenaline, so you can speak and not panic. It is not a tranquilizer. Take it about 45 minutes before you speak. I’ve used it for years before going on stage.

A reddish glow is a social signal. It says “I’m excited”, and that makes you exciting. It’s a color signal to other primates that you are sexually mature. It portrays that you are healthy and desirable. It gets other people interested, which is why they talk about it. It’s why women put on rouge – it simulates that flushed look. If you hate the attention, then yeah it’s embarrassing. On the other hand, people will just love you and not know why. It works on a subliminal level I guess.

Otherwise, you could become a Goth and be colorless. I knew a professor like that. He wasn’t a Goth but he was dull in every way, and just naturally lacked liveliness in his face, voice, and character. I’m sure he never blushed. He must have been bored to death.

I read somewhere long ago that sociopaths don’t blush. I hope that you find some consolation in knowing that you are not depraved.

We had a coach that would turn beet red when teased. It never occurred to me that he might mind our pointing that out to him. I should have been more sensitive.

If you take teasing good-naturedly, people will see your confidence and be more attracted to you.

About speech classes: I had to take one for my major, and decided to take it the first semester of college, to get rid of it as soon as possible. It was hard for me since I hate talking in public, but like others have said, most of the people in the class are in the same position as you are, and are very sympathetic.

I ended up not blushing as much as expected, thanks to being prepared and picking a topic I like. The classmate’s feedbacks also helped. And by the end of the semester, most of the faces were familiar, so it was not really talking to a bunch of strangers anymore.