***[Note to admins and mods: It’s fine by me if Farley/Tshirts wants to chase me around the SDMB, snapping at my ankles, and posting her feeble squeaks to every single thread that I’ve contributed to. At least it’ll keep her off the streets. I don’t plan on chasing HER around while she chases ME around, because that would be silly and life’s too short. So I will keep this in the Pit, so it doesn’t clutter up the other forums too much. At least, I won’t be the one responsible for the clutter.]
(this is the duplicate; the original is over in the official “Bash Notthemama” thread in the Pit.) http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/001000.html
Hi, there, Farley! Say, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna assume for purposes of discussion that you are actually tshirts, OK? Tshirts and Lamerino are the only people I’ve had any run-ins with here at the SDMB, and I don’t think you could be Lamerino, first of all, because I don’t think I upset him that much, and second, because in his few posts, he sounded like a basically stable person, if a trifle mischievous at times.
You were the one who started to sound, shall we say, a trifle “shrill”? All that “I’m not going to post anymore here”, and then 2 hours later you’re back again.
Also, Lamerino never went to the trouble to start an entire thread just to pick on me, which you did in your Catfight thread. He just clipped me a couple of times and then left.
And I don’t think you could be JTP~ from Mailbag Comments, because although I did invite him to meet me in the Pit, that was just this morning, and I don’t think he’d have had time to create an entire website in my honor, and besides, I thought I made it clear that I was joking. And besides, it wasn’t that big of a scrap, you know?
And I suppose that Pashley might be upset with me because I used one of his quotes out of context in the “Apologies” thread, trying to be funny, but I did apologize for that, and also, we know that his real name is “Patrick Ashley”, and I don’t think he’d go to the trouble of constructing not only a “Notthemama” website, but also an entire new identity for his sig line.
I’m sorry, but I don’t have time right now to go look at all the links. Am I correct in assuming that many of them are what a pissy brat would consider “obscene”? That’s OK with me, “rights of free speech” and all that. Nobody’s going to put a gun to my head and make me click on the link, right? Maybe somebody would be kind enough to take a peek for me and let me know if it’s safe to look!
So, tshirts, how ya been, babe? I wondered when you were gonna come back. You can’t keep a good poster down, I always say. And I guess you must have officially unregistered the name “tshirts”, because otherwise Farley would count as a sock puppet. But I know you know that–after all, you’ve been here since before TubaDiva.
But hey, I’m glad you’re back. I kind of missed you. Here I spent a lot of time writing dirty Burma Shave poems and ornate Oriental insults to throw at you, and then you up and chickened out. Now I get to use them after all! Hooray!
(Oh, and since you’re going to duplicate posts, I hope you don’t mind if I do the same, do ya? Thanks, you’re a peach!)
Did you hear about Pashley and Califboomer? Ain’t that something?
Say, you know, I’d just like to mention something. I noticed that when you had your hissy fit and stomped off from the About this Catfight thread, you changed your profile to be, well, I suppose you thought it was insulting. But, hey, I’m easy. No offense taken. But I’m real sorry you had to dismantle your Web page because of me. I know how much work goes into one of those, and I’m truly sorry you had to flush it down the toilet.
But I love the new website! Thanks for the plug! And I’m sure Jim Henson Productions and Disney are grateful for it, too. Oh, you didn’t know? My name’s from the baby dinosaur in that series from a few years back, Dinosaurs, you know, with “Earl Sinclair”, and the baby dinosaur bops him on the head with a frying pan and chants, “NOT the mama! NOT the mama!” See, that’s who I am, I’m “not the mama”.
You’ll probably be getting e-mail from folks looking for the series website. Here’s Muppet Central. I don’t think the series itself has a website, since it was canceled.
And let me say how happy I am that you’ve started this “Bash Notthemama” thread. Not only does it give you an unparalleled opportunity to demonstrate to the entire Straight Dope Message Board what a pissy little brat you are, it also makes me immediately FAMOUS!! I am finally worthy of having a Pit thread started in my honor. You can’t see me, sweetie, but I am doing a Happy Dance all around my dining room. My little Doper heart is filled with rapture that, after barely a month, I have officially Arrived. Here I thought I would have to toil away for months in the coal mines of General Questions and Great Debates before anyone would notice me, and here you are, singlehandedly catapulting me to fame! I can’t thank you enough, honestly. Posters like Coldfire and Satan and Tomndeb and SingleDad are going to know my name, that’s for sure, 'cause every time they load up the Pit, there it will be, up in lights! I love you, tshirts, really I do.
Oh, and make sure you post to this thread lots, also the Catfight thread, so they stay right up there near the top, where all the newbies can’t possibly miss them. I know they won’t want to miss this. This is what the SDMB is all about.
Say, can I ask you a question? Where’d you get your name? I’ve got five bucks that says it’s after the dead dog in For Better or Worse, see, 'cause then that would make you a “son of a bitch”. Well? Did I get it?
See ya. 
P.S. I see in your sig that it says your name may possibly be “Elizabeth”. If so, I’d like to apologize for calling you a “son of a bitch” How silly of me. Of course, you must be a “daughter of a bitch”. My mistake.
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen