So, the creator of Heaven, the Earth and the universe is watching my inbox? You’d think he’d be too busy, helping sports teams win and what not.
“Jesus is coming-and so am I!”
His will be the second. Where do you stand in that regard?
Well, I do tend to like my white guys with beards and longish hair, and Jesus did preach self-reliance when it came to, uhm, fishing.
I’ll stop now; the Express Bus to Hell is now boarding.
(apologies, cmyk)
"Today sixteen people were killed by an exploding suicide penguin. The Antarctic Holy Liberation Front has claimed responsibility. Their spokesman is quoted as saying, “Squarrrrk ! Squaaaawk ! Sqeeee !”
Further details at 11."
No need for apologies… I think I’m driving the bus.
Either I’m whooshed, or you didn’t link to what you thought you linked to.
On the dry spot.
There is a “walking on water” joke in here somewhere, I can feel it…
This thread was making me think of the sequence where Opus called Phil Donohue:
Opus: Penguin lust is natural and beautiful, and I for one fully support penguin lust.
Phil: That’s great caller, but today’s topic is nun beating.
Opus: Good Lord, man, I can’t support that!
A sports team’s namesake isn’t empiricle evidence of the existence of penguins. Besides, many sports teams prefer to have mascots based on creatures we know to be mythological such as angels, titans, and Irish people.
“I do believe in penguins. I do, I do.”
- places finger in each ear, repeats chant over and over *
Yes, but instead of praying to the penguins, I can send you prescriptions from Canada – Guaranteed to enhance your appendage!
Just send me $500 and a self-addressed stamped envelope.
Will it be delivered by penguin post?
The penguins don’t believe in your magical sky generalizations. If they did, we would have seen them in Happy Feet.
Well played, sir! 
Q: What’s white and drips out of the sky?
A: The second coming of Jesus.
What? Dammit, that’s my dad’s Christmas present.
Real link: http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/The_Penguin_Tango_20060821
Ha ! You think chain religious emails are bad ? Think again.
Every few months, I open my mailbox to find, wedged between the usual bills and adverts, a regular letter, name and adress handwritten in feminine handwriting. Every time, my silly heart jumps up because *obviously *it’s from an old girlfriend or something. The elevator ride back home is always full of sappy dreams. Every time it turns out to be a letter from “my brothers in Jesus”, we need money, look at this poor child, yadda yadda.
Motherfuck Jesus, the bearded bastard keeps breaking my heart.
Dude, stop pining over old girlfriends. All the Christian charity collectors in the world can’t help get you a big steaming cup of Get The Fuck Over Her. 