In spite of the sequels and tack-ons that followed the huge success of the original 1960 blockbuster, it’s time to go for broke and redo the whole thing. Who would you select from the current slate of he-men and tough guys to replace the original cast?
Yul Brynner - Samuel Jackson
Steve McQueen - Daniel Craig
Charles Bronson - Pierce Brosnan
James Coburn - Sean Bean
Robert Vaughn - Ewan McGregor
Brad Dexter - Viggo Mortensen
Horst Buchholz - Daniel Radcliffe
Did any of you ever see Mystery Men (1999)? I confess that I didn’t but I did see trailers and that made me remember that cast as a possible “7 whatever” in the anti-magnificent vein.
One blurb from IMDB: “The city’s fate rests in the hands of seven loser superhero wannabes: the fork-flinging Blue Rajah, the shovel-wielding Shoveler, the posessed bowling ball-hurling Bowler, the flatulent Spleen, the only-when-nobody’s-looking Invisible Boy, the mysterious Sphinx, and the perpetually-angry Mr. Furious.”
Just look at the cast for that one. Somewhere between those guys, Boogie Nights and maybe the remake of The Longest Yard lie the potential varmints who can make new examination of the “seven” concept sparkle again for the generation that missed the first go-round.
Better yet: a cast of B actors who have yet to rise above sidekick or assistant gofer. Who in that crowd needs the career boost?
BTW, on the all-gal issue, note above where I did say, “It could also be a great opportunity for somebody to come up with the anti-magnificent seven including Adam Sandler, Pauly Shore, PeeWee Herman and the like. Or even an all-gal group.”
Just please stay away from anime and Hanna Barbera. Please. No Yoda, either.
Half-serious now. I’d really love to see an all-African-American redo. Maybe even have it done in Africa so the villagers are all Black, too. I’m flexible on that part but the 7 should be pulled from this group of outstanding guys:
Samuel L. Jackson
(Yes, I know some of these were mentioned earlier. That’s a good thing.)
Unless somebody can name a better actor, I want Yaphet Kotto for the Eli Wallach role.
Other candidates for the Seven:
Cuba Gooding, Jr.
(add to this list)
Somebody might want to build an Asian group or a Latino group, too. That would work.
Not a bad idea. Another thought might be to modify the makeup of The Unit to an all-black group and have them go rogue from whatever agency they are affiliated with. Haysbert is so right for his role in that show. The finale left it open as to how next season (which I think I saw will happen) will proceed. The team of Mamet and Ryan have done great things with the characters and situations and I foresee this show rising in respect next year. It’s been a favorite of mine from the get-go.
You do have a point! Why would Japanese film makers want to do a copy of a copy of a classic that began there? It would be like doing a remake of the American remake of Godzilla or Rodan. (I remember it was cool in high school to yell out in the halls “Rodan’s in heat!” – but that was long ago).
But if you go for a more international cast to include Chow Yun-Fat and Jackie Chan and maybe some of the Bollywood hunks, I suppose the Japanese could grin at that audacity?