Well, my legs have not given way, but they are sore today…
I was thinking a lot of it sounded like turberculosis. Which of course we all know you get from reading poetry and moping.
Y’all remember the Sabre-toothed tiger?
Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. :wally
I’ve always heard that when a woman masterbates, God gives the world a puppy.
…Funny, what’s this basket of puppies doing on my doorstep…?
If you masturbate, I’ll run 'em down to the church for ya.
Puppies! Get your puppies here! Free puppies!
I’ll produce them on demand, just place your orders!
I see dozens of ads for free kittens in the paper all the time.
SOMEBODY’S NOT doing their job!
I’m on it, chief!
Wait a minute, masturbation’s been patented?
Aww, man, I owe somebody some big-time royalties.
No, the process of masturbation leading to certain horrible, horrible death is.
That was exactly what was running through my head! 
The reason it works for you and no one else is that you are referencing a file on your local machine…
to be exact. You need to upload it to a webserver that is accessible to everyone, not just you.
That’s weird. All I did was google for the photo, go to the page, copy the URL from the image, and paste it into the Reply box.
Anyway, at the risk of necrohippoflagellation, here’s a different page with a good-sized image:
http://www.hunterryan.com/everytimeyoumasturbategodkillsakittenpleasethinkofthekittens.jpg
Must I think of kittens when I masturbate?
Is bestiality now so politically correct as to be mandated?
The Olsen Twins are often described as “gibbon-faced imps.”
PLEASE tell me this qualifies.
[sub]…FWAPP-FWAPP-FWAPP…[/sub]
Yes, cute fuzzy kittens! Who see motion and must bat at the motion. Thus making you bleed.
I like the doo-rag on the horny poet. Very nice.
That kitten picture is one of my all-time favourite internet items. Right up there with the Independent Woman kittens.
Ahhh…that’s much better.