I rarely start threads but i wanted to get some feedback from fellow dopers on this issue.
Long story short my son Little chicagojeff (LCJ) is a 13 yr old eight grader in public school. He’s also a 6’2 170lb small forward who plays at the highest level of AAU basketball. He’s qualified for a program and has received several offers from local private schools. He’s a very solid student who actually made low honors last year(all a’s and b’s) and has always performed well in the classroom. One of the schools which we a very familiar with and familiar with him has suggested that he enroll next fall with his scholarship as an eight grader. They feel that sometimes kids coming from public to private struggle due to the higher level of work. His public school is no slouch mind you… but I faced the same issue long ago and got blown out of the water going from public to private. My ex (mom) is open to the idea as she faced difficulties as well when she went from public to private (she perservered and succeeded).
He’s always been the youngest kid in his class (June birth) and since we’ve explained it to him he’s open to the idea. I have no doubt that this will also help him in his sport as well. Local state high school rules prohibit this in High school for good reason. Any ideas??
I do not recommend going through high school as the youngest kid in the class. I was a whole 1 1/2 years younger than some other kids. But not only was I young, but I was small too. So perhaps it won’t be bad for him.
Do you think the issue was more about your size than age?
Speaking as a girl who skipped a grade, I say go for the 2nd 8th grade year. As a girl in sports it benefited me for that younger year in high school as it would benefit a boy to be older. Girls are also much more mature.
My youngest brother transferred this past fall(ETA: to a private school); he’s in all the top honors classes but he’s had to work his tail off just to get B+'s and A-'s and isn’t the superstar he was at his public school.
Sounds like he could benefit all around, especially if a college scholarship is in his future (and it sounds as though it is). Gives him a year to adjust to the new environment too, which can’t be understated.
Good luck.
I’d also strongly encourage repeating 8th grade in the private school. It’s very easy, and very correct, to impress on your son that it’s because his CPS school uses a different curriculum and he needs exposure to the new school’s curriculum, not because he’s dumb or slow.
You’re probably going to be shocked at how far behind even a good CPS student is going to be at a good private school. I know my son and I were, just moving from a neighborhood high school to a charter high school within the CPS system.
In fact, I’d ask the new school for copies of the sixth and seventh grade curricula, some sample tests from throughout the school year in several classes (math, social studies, science and language arts at least), and work them over during the summer. He’s likely to find gaps in his knowledge that you and he can fill in together before he starts.
The first two reasons sound like good ones for repeating a grade when your son switches to his private school. (I’d kind of argue for ignoring the third one.)
When I was growing up I went to a private Kindergarten because we were living in a run-down section of a city at the time and the public schools there were pretty bad. Then my parents moved to a rural area and they enrolled me in first grade there. The school administrators wanted to have me repeat Kindergarten rather than enter first grade despite the fact that I was very bright because 1) I was only nine days past the “can’t be younger than this” policy and 2) I was a scrawny little shrimp.
My parents refused, and I started as a first grader. I did just fine and am happy with their decision (I did get into my share of fights with the bigger kids but that’s OK), but I’d have probably done just as fine if I’d repeated Kindergarten. Looking back on it, I’d have been the class shrimp either way - I’d just have been an older one.
I do it just for the sports it will be much easier to get an athletic scholarship with an extra year of development under your son’s belt. The kids I knew who were old for their grade were much better athletes. Also with repeating it will make the school year easier for him allowing more time to work on other things and since he’ll have a better grasp of the basics this effect to help him all of the way through school.
You realize this suggestion has nothing to do with his academics but everything to do with his maturity and growing athleticism for the basketball team.
If you’re okay with it, then go for it. It will likely allow him to be more competitive and potentially have more opportunities for a college scholarship down the road.
Before you make the decision ask them for a placement test. I suspect that the third reason is higher on their list of importance and since LittleCJ is a good student you want to be wary of putting him in a situation where he’ll be bored. Boredom breeds behaviour issues in even the best behaved kids.
Life is about choices. You laid the choices out for your son. He seems to have chosen a path.
You can’t be “right” every time and 8th grade or 9th grade isn’t too young to learn that you make choices and follow through with them.
Let the kid have the pros and cons. He’ll make a choice. Your job is to love him and support him through the learning process.
an seanchai
It’s pure BS. They want their basketball team to be a year older.
He’d still be 18 at the end of his last normal school year (and basketball season). I’m pretty sure most places put the cap at 19.
Whether the school’s motives are pure or not, it’s still a useful opportunity. Just ignore that third reason for a while, and see if the other two hold up. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what grade level your son is on.
And don’t ignore advanced placement classes. In most schools, they are at least a grade level ahead. It’s possible that advanced placement eighth grade would be a better fit for your son than going into ninth grade classes.
Also, since the kid is actually entertaining the idea of being held back, I must applaud you. I don’t know that many kids who wouldn’t reject the idea of having to stay at school an extra year. The ones that like school want to move on to college, and the ones that don’t want to get it over with.
I am curious if you held back your son. If you did, how did it turn out?
I’d be interested to know as well. I’ve never known a middle schooler who was willing to repeat a grade, but it seems like the child’s attitude would be the defining factor in how he adjusted.
(I notice that Chicagojeff’s last activity was in April, so we may be waiting a while to hear. It’s like some people have lives away from the computer sometimes.)