My boss came by the other day and asked if I was going to this computer conference I’d signed up for ages ago. I was busy but it’s in San Francisco and it’s June – so here I am. I even got to meet some of the Bay Area Dopes.
But now I’m on my own with 25,000 computer geeks. So many variations but they’re all true to the theme. All colors, shapes, sizes, ages, genders (well maybe not a wide variety of genders – oh wait, this is San Francisco) but in spite of all the differences they are still instantly recognizable.
And these aren’t ordinary computer geeks. These are computer disciples. They laugh (or snort, at least) at Microsoft jokes. They care about operating systems and whether parameters are passed by reference or passed by value. (This is a Java conference – all parameters are passed by value.)
People don’t become computer geeks because they have strong social skills. For them, computers tend to be a place to retreat from the world (but what would you guys know about that?). I think some of them haven’t left their room in their mom’s house since last year’s conference. They are generally shy and introverted, easily intimidated (yes, we’d like to stand in this long line) but they have a contrary streak and can be difficult if they are aroused. A curious time here is when they put out afternoon snacks. Rather like slopping the hogs on my aunt’s farm when I was a kid.
So what am I doing here? I don’t fit in. Do I? You would tell me wouldn’t you? Uh oh.
Every profession has sterotypes, some of 'em based in fact. But what the hey? Certain kinds of work attract certain kinds of people. You should hear the jokes engineers make about themselves. And have you ever been around a morticians convention? That’ll pop your gussets.
Geeks are kinda endearing. Sorta like gerbils…ouch!, cut it out, Wally!
If it’s any comfort, Pluto, I’m a professional librarian. Buncha dweebs, huh? Well, yeah. But as a cabbie in Chicago said, “you people are polite, tip great and drink like fish”. When ALA was in SF, the reception was held at SFPL; had a blast sipping champage atop the main reference desk and munching calamari nibbles.
(The reception in Chicago at the Shedd aquarium had plotzed librarians, nose against the glass tanks, earnestly discussing intracies of MARC format with moray eels.)
Gotta love it.
Enjoy the pageant. You’re life is fuller, but the eccentrics sure add some interest, don’t they?
I don’t know about the hookers, Ike, but the panhandlers have been severely disappointed. They were pretty thick on the ground the first couple of days but they seem to have figured out geeks aren’t the most generous people on the planet. By the time they figure out an algorithm for how much they should give them the moment has passed. Plus you have to make eye contact to hit somebody up for spare change and most of the people here have avoided eye contact with non-cyber beings for years.
The lovely and miscast (very few librarians wear beards) Veb said
Well, my business card says “Software Engineer” so I guess I have the best of both worlds.
I am saved from some of the worst self-inflicted behavior by Mrs. Pluto, who works for the Gap and has a highly developed fashion sense where I have absolutely none. She buys me clothes and brings them home and I put them on. She doesn’t think I know this but everything in my closet matches so I can’t screw up. In spite of all this, however, there are mornings when she sees me and just kind of sighs and pretends there’s something in her eye.
