Repug candidates, what a malignent troupe of FUX!

I can’t believe the motley group of jokers the fucking Republican Party has produced for Election '08 (aka Fascists Lose Big), but MY GOD what a bunch of fucking losers and how happy I am to see it! Can any of these pathetic twats do anything but fucking Heil Hitler, “double the size of Guantanamo” (Romney! Romney! ooh what a fucking fuhrer he’d be!), or otherwise try to show how big his cock is without whipping it out for the “debate” cameras?!!! Huh. Let’s peekie-weekie at these champs to see what a bunch of peckers they are and keep “packaged” for us:

Rudy “Who Resuscitated Me?” Giuliani. He looks as dead as that African dude they shot and killed in NYC way back when who didn’t have a gun on him and he was just reaching for his ID, but this fucker keeps smiling and mouthing platitudes. Stupid fucking piece of shit–you gonna elect this fascist fuck as POTUS, you corn-fed Hitlerites (“even Jesus would vote for him”–what the fuck?!). I cannot believe how fucking ugly and scary this piece of shit is. He’s not really a traditional Repub except for his hardon for fascist power. This chimp-brained sack of shit would just LUV to have all that power. Let’s not even get into his amygdala-stimulating, 9/11-humping, one-note Sieg Heil campaign message, baby!

Mitt “Five Sons as Good as Soldiers” Romney. Spare-the-fuck-me, how did this robotic, fascist FUCK ever make it past the fucking metal detector, he’s all fucking metal except for the plastic hairpiece! I don’t really have a problem with his religion except it makes him a fucking freak! Are we going to elect a goddamn Mormon–everyone knows that Jesus had only one wife, not six (that’s a fucking joke, OK? you PC mutherfuckers). Really, though, we can make fun of Scientologists on this board, I hope Mormons aren’t exempt, as they’re no fucking better. Romney is totally Hitler Lite. Tastes fucking awful, Less filling. He creams his Dockers when he thinks about being President, because then he can waterboard Tuscan Raiders in the Oval Office. BTW, how did a Republican Mormon FREAK ever become governor of Mass. in the first place, it blows my fucking mind.

John “Straight-Talking Tongue Up Bush’s Anus” McCain. What a fucking loser, but this joker is already out of money and he’s smearing shit on his toast because he can’t afford peanut butter. How the mighty have fallen: He used to be some kind of iconoclast challenging Bush but now it’s Da Surge Is Working! Da Surge Is Working! Like fuck it is. McCain is proof that shtick has a short shelf life. I mean, it ain’t edible after seven fucking years, is it? At least he opposes torture, I’ll grant him that, and I wouldn’t call him fascist. No wonder he’s lost!

Fred “Pug Face” Thompson. This dude’s supposed to be “Reaganesque”? Like fuck he is. I’ve never seen anything uglier or less charismatic in my life than either his voice or his face. What a fat sack of shit this guy is. And I could give two shits about his TV shows–I’ve never seen a single fucking one of them. All I can think of with this guy is that a pug’s face and anus have combined and for some inexplicable reason are smoking a fat cigar. And he’s banging some chick who’s younger than his daughter (what pleasure that must bring her!). Like a joker like this could ever be prez. Bush did it but he’s got the big package in the aviator’s suit! Mission accomplished! Thompson’s just a butthole wrinkle the fascists are creaming into because he might, just might be able to “win.” Aw haw haw, the thought is so yesterday, stupid fuckers!

I put my money on Romney to get the nomination. He’s a hand-jiving flipflopper but in the end his hair will win out. Then the true “bush,” Hillary Clinton, will show these limp-membered fuckers–all of them!–who’s really boss!!!

So, uh, you fucking actually want a fucking electable Republican fucking candidate, or fucking what?

For the good of their party, these candidates need to shift to the left. Bushism is rapidly heading for the dustbin of history, and if they stick with him, they’ll end up there too.

Agree on Thompson, he’s about as handsome as a bulldog’s ass.

ahem

Let’s keep them as they are, mm hmm. :wink:

I feel like you’re holding back. It’s OK, we’re all friends here, tell us what you really think.

How long since we’ve had a discussion of Godwin’s Law?

Did you use enough exclamation points?!!! Is it possible you’re about fifteen?!!!

And in answer to your rhetorical question, McCaine has said that he’d close the dentention center at Gauntanamo and make sure the U.S. didn’t improperly hold people or torture them. I still wouldn’t vote for him, of course, but I believe him on this.

Do me a favor? Stay off my side.

I said it before, and I’ll say it again - the front runners in the Republican field are excellent candidates and fine Americans. They have all done more for their country than nearly anyone in the Democratic horse race with similar levels of support.

The lightest weight guy with much support on the Republican side is Thompson, and he has roughly as much public policy or other experience as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton both. All of them are bested by Romney, who besides his rerm as governor managed massive amounts of capital and saved a corrupt and mismanaged Olympics. They are bested by Giuliani, a successful mayor and prosecutor. And they are bested by McCain, who before his long tenure in the Senate was a naval aviator, war hero, and POW.

Now, this does not touch at all on matters of policy, which ought to be the reason to vote for anyone. (And I will readily admit that this is an unorthodox bunch of Republican candidates.) But these men have done much for America. Much of it has been good on the face of it, and somewhat nonpolitical. And while politics ain’t beanbag, they deserve more respect than the OP has demonstrated.

I am highly amused that this group of idiots make Ron Paul look reasonable by comparison.

Yes, of course. They are all such wonderful Americans, each and every one of them. :rolleyes:
It looks to me as if you are ready, willing and able to kiss the ass of any Republican who wins.

Have you ever heard of “Aeschines’ Law”? It means that some fucking idiot will complain about comparing fascists to Nazis.

Right, and if we use the SDMB’s selections of smileys, then we’re twelve, right?

It’s for emphasis, dumbass.

It’s “McCain,” dumbfuck.

And I specifically recognized that McCain was against torture. Doh!!!

The fascist side? Sure thing, fucker!!!

And what wouldn’t be a fine American, Ed fucking Gein?!

Yes, if “fucking up” is “doing more.”

Let’s make them all Reichsfuhrer or Obergruppenfuhrer and be fucking done with it.

(Actually, I shouldn’t tar McCain with the same brush. He’s merely a total fucking sellout and fascist-enabler, not an original fascist himself.)

Who? The Republican Candidates or a few folks in this thread? :wink:

Apparently it was Guiliani who was giggling offcamera every time Ron Paul was trying to make a point. If so, my opinion of him just fell a ton.

I HATE being pinned down like that. :stuck_out_tongue: I’ve battled enough Doper ignorance in another thread today, so I’ll just stick to the Pubbie candidates.

Really though, I can’t seem to muster much enthusiasm for the Dems either.

BTW, since does ANY Dem candidate take the position that they will order an immediate withdrawl from Iraq if elected? I think Paul does, which makes him marginally saner than his Pubbie buddies, but any Dems?

It’s laughably partisan when Mr. Moto says such about the Democrats needing to move to the right, and it’s no less so in reverse. Bush doesn’t represent ‘the right’ any more than, oh, let’s say Der Trihs represents ‘the left’. I think a candidate could be a right-winger and have a solid platform, just not a Bush Republican. That said, I don’t really like any of the Republican candidates as they stand, but it is possible.

Ahem yourself. Sorry, I just don’t think that a high “fuck” count and blindingly obvious cracks about Fred Thompson’s phisog make for all that compelling a rant. Carry on.

Looks like you’re similarly set to question the intelligence and sanity of any Republican out there.

Look, there is a difference of opinion on how to run things. This does not make these men stupid, and suggesting that they are so frankly makes the person making these statements look foolish.

The fact that 75% of Republicans think Bush is doing a good job makes 75% of Repulicans stupid, and these guys are playing to that demographic. So maybe they’re not stupid, but they play stupid on TV.