This is really just not fair, not at all. I don’t think my shower gets cold enought to read this thread.
wonders if he asks this on Opal’s MB everyone will e-mail him the stories
Um…Cristi, I have a confession to make. I’ve been climbing in your window at night and…y’know…
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart.
Not to let BigRory be the only guy.
I have a couple of times worked myself into a lather so to speak just by thinking erotic thoughts. No touching, just thinking real hard (pun intended).
Jeffery
Well darn it all, Chef! Here I am thinking that I might just this once be able to contribute something worthwhile to someone’s study, and maybe help to eradicate just a little bit of ignorance. But noooooo! In walks Chef Troy, and with just one well-placed post, totally shatters everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Thanks. Thanks a whole freaking lot.
One more thing, Chef. My husband will be out Saturday night. Come in the front door this time, okay?
Cristi, Slayer of Peeps
I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.
(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)
Sorry, no emails for this girl…
Ed, see enclosed videotape.
'nuff said.
Wisdom is the boobie prize,they give you when you’ve been --unwise!
adam, did you by chance ever live in California?
Hey, sweetie! You want a Danish with that coffee? – another custom design by the mind of Wally
Whan that Aprillè with hise shourès soote
The droghte of March had percèd to the roote,
I druv a motor thro’ Aprillè’s bliz
Somme forty mile, and dam neere lyke to friz.
– Bert Leston Taylor
Demo, after reading psycat’s post ;p, do you think any of us guys are feeling remotely sorry for you right now?
I once had a girlfriend who ejaculated when she had orgasms (which turned me on considerably, btw). As a result, I didn’t have to take her at her word when she said she was starting to have orgasms while going down on me; the soaked sheets told the tale.
Unfortunately, that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far away. A lively interest in sex was about all we had in common, and it wasn’t enough.
“Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign
Okay Coldfire, I got mildly excited just from your description of the event!! I get incredibly excited from watching a man drive…just watching a guy be in control of hundreds of pounds of steel moving at high speeds…okay, I really am talking about a car there…I gotta go! Eeek.
Rather, I was in the position of a spore which, having finally accepted its destiny as a fungus, still wonders if it might produce penicillin.
–Ayi Kwei Armah
ooh ooh, this has happened to me!! i was actually in my history class writing an exam when, WOOOOO!!
“Organs gross me out. That’s organs, not orgasms.”
-the wallster
RT, it’s good to be the king… 
Anyway, I just thought it was a good gig was all. Hey Ed, ::wink wink::
I have chainmail underwear.
mega – please e-mail me your thoughts on the Spanish-American War, including at least one paragraph on the Rough Riders and the charge up San Juan Hill.
Then a synopsis on the Trojan war.:::snort:::she said “Trojan.”
Oh dearmotherofhollyorgasmwhyohwhydidIreadthis. blubbering incoherently I just cant take this talk and inuendo and “if you email me I will tell you” teasing and eroticism and I must be really in need of a good one myself and just can think one up and make it work… and… and …and… if I could do that would I ever get ANYTHING accomplished?? SOMEONE HELP ME!!! LOL
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I saw a snake with no legs.
- Another TRUE Wally original! Accept no substitues!
Just stopped in to read the latest posts.
BTW, Ed assures me it really is research for Cecil.
Are we having fun yet?
Yes, I did, and wouldn’t you like to know what I said to Ed…
You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino
That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>
Well, now. I haven’t even looked at this thread until now, and I only read it because it is sure to be a hot topic at tonight’s doperfest. Really, I have prudish tendencies, so I get kind of uncomfortable reading about other people’s orgasms.
So, I am reading through, getting more and more embarassed…when I come to mega the roo’s little confession. To say that this thread has taken a turn for the unexpected is the understatement of the year.
Now, for those of you who don’t know, I teach history at an esteemed NYC university. I can honestly say that it never, ever occurred to me that somebody might be getting off on one of my exams.
I am truly shocked and amazed. Truly truly shocked and amazed.
Mega–have you ever considered pursuing a Ph.D.?
Wow.
Heh…I can just see the letter from Little Ed Jr.'s schoolteacher:
*Dear Mr. and Mrs. Zotti,
I would like to arrange a meeting with you both at your earliest convenience. I am concerned by the manner in which Edward, Junior may be using his free time. Today’s Language Arts assignment was “Where Our Parents Work”. I enclose a copy of Edward’s paper, which he read aloud to the class.
“My daddy sits in front of a computer all day. He eats Cheetohs and asks people about their orgasms over the internet. Then a bunch of women he doesn’t know e-mail him and tell him all about how to give them orgasms.”
Naturally, this received a large reaction from the class, especially as we do not ordinarily begin sex education until the fifth grade. It was some time before I could get the children calmed down again.
I am quite sure that such a ridiculous claim as your son made is untrue, coming as it does from the child of such responsible parents as yourselves. Nevertheless, I am equally certain that Edward could not have come up with such a disturbing scenario unless it had some relation to something he had actually experienced.
Your son speaks a great deal of someone he calls “Uncle Cecil;” although he admits this man is not his real uncle, but is a co-worker of Mr. Zotti. Edward refuses to give any details about this man, saying that “Uncle Cecil wouldn’t like it if I told.” This concerns me, to say the least. How much do you know about this man and how he spends his leisure hours?
Edward, Junior is a bright, attentive boy, quick to pick up on the details of his environment. I would particularly like to discuss whether he spends much unsupervised time either in front of your home computer or in the company of “Uncle Cecil.” Please call me to arrange a meeting at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Elmyra Krabappel*
Hey, sweetie! You want a Danish with that coffee? – another custom design by the mind of Wally
Whan that Aprillè with hise shourès soote
The droghte of March had percèd to the roote,
I druv a motor thro’ Aprillè’s bliz
Somme forty mile, and dam neere lyke to friz.
– Bert Leston Taylor
I guess I’d qualify too, though there are only specific types of things that do it. It’s almost always mental, but based on physical. For example:
There’s this one guy I know who … well, he smells good. He’s attractive, though not insanely so (good thing, those are usually horrible in personality, which is enough to turn me off instantly). He’s sweet and solicitous. He looks you in the eyes and you know where he is - some people are just sort of ‘not there’ behind their eyes, others are only slightly better, and rarely you get one who is ‘right f-ing there’. He’s one of the latter.
It excites me to just be around him, which is unusual, but happens sometimes. I orgasmed when he touched my arm the other night (and I tried very hard not to show it). This is not an isolated occurance, but it is invariably someone to whom I am irresistably attracted. If the attraction isn’t there, if my mind isn’t in ‘that state’, it doesn’t happen. It’s also wholly based on the mental attraction - for some people, looking into their eyes counts as foreplay.
For me, it’s true - the brain is the biggest sex organ. I think the ‘trigger’ is the connection with them. As in, it’s not a particular place on my body, it’s the connection between our minds that gets me off. The physical touch is just an extension of that, and it brings the erotic nature of it to the fore, thereby causing my body to react.
Incidentally, on the subject, my strongest orgasms invariably happen when we do it together, not one before the other. I don’t know if this is what was meant by the term ‘psychic orgasms’, but it’s how I would term it. My mind creates the orgasm, not my body. My body just goes with it.
-Elthia
I have occasionally gotten off by reading a very good erotic story. Good ones are hard to find though. It’s that mental thing again, combined with my strong imagination.
I think if we cared who knew, we wouldn’t be posting it here, eh? grin I’ve never been one to not talk about sex. I love talking about sex. Weird, that’s me. Yeah.
-Elthia
ROFL! That was hysterical, Scarlet Pimpernel. I love it.