When you receive a compliment about something you are wearing or something you own, how do you respond?
When you give a compliment about someone’s clothes or possessions, what do you expect?
In my case, the response is usually an enthusiastic “Thank you,” but nothing more. But I often get the feeling that I’m leaving the compliment-giver hanging, conversation-wise. It seems like they expect more information, like where I purchased the item, or how I feel about the item, or something.
Granted, I’m not the best conversationalist in the world, but going on and on about my stuff just seems odd.
Depends on the situation. I’ve had strangers in the elevator compliment me on my shoes or something, and then I usually just smile and say thank you. If a girlfriend compliments me, I’ll say thank you and say something about where I got the object in question; if a guyfriend compliments me I’ll say thank you and make some lewd joke (because usually they only compliment me when I’m wearing something scandalous).
The one kind of compliment I never handle well is the one about my singing. For some reason it always embarasses me - maybe because I’m shy about doing it in public, and my friends usually have to get me fairly drunk before I’ll grab a mike at karaoke. Sometimes people come up to me afterwards and comment favorably - I usually just blush and squirm. :smack:
A simple thank you is perfectly polite and appropriate, but it’s good to keep in mind that often someone will compliment you as a means of making conversation. If you’re interested in maintaining a conversation with this person, then feel free to comment on whatever they’ve complimented you on. What do *you * like about it? Was it a great find? Your favorite color? No need to go on and on, but just indicate that you’re open to further conversation.
The last compliment I got:
Random Woman: “Oooh I love your shoes!”
Me: “Thank you. So do I!”
RW: “Can I ask you where you got them?”
Me: “Oooh, I wish I could remember. Maybe Steinmart? They’re my ‘awesome deal’ of last summer.”
RW: “Yeah, I love that place. They’re really nice.”
Me: “Thanks again!”
I hate it when people ask and I can’t remember. Just shows how few opportunities I get to shop.
Weird ones for me are when people compliment my possessions; “you have a nice car, house, etc.” Thank you. I guess. This one has gotten a little easier.
The hardest, though, is, “your wife is really pretty!” I’m flattered, but A) did you expect her to be a hag? and B) how do I respond to that? Thank you, as if she’s my car?
<I can’t take credit for anything other than picking them out, so I go with: >
“Aren’t they great?”
or maybe
“$5 at Payless!”
Since I used to say some variant of “Shut up, liar” or “Yeah, right”, I’ve come a long way.
The most interesting compliment I ever got was “You’re very beautiful in the face”. This may have been true at the time (20 years ago), but I took it as “but your body’s too fat”. I think it may have been meant that way because it was a guy pal, not some guy interested in me. So my response was “I know I’m too fat.”
I still think thank you is appropriate here (then followed by your other responses, if you want). Most people don’t make their own clothing and accessories, and everybody knows this. So in effect, the compliment is to your good taste in picking them out.
I’m sure you’re right about it being a conversation gambit in many cases. And if I’m talking to someone I just met, I probably should flesh out my response for that reason. And, to bring in HazelNutCoffee’s point, I’d likely share shopping info, or whatever, with close friends. But just as often, I get that thank you is not enough vibe from the kind of acquaintance (a co-worker for example) who doesn’t need to fish for a topic of conversation.
Well, there is a lot of ground between really pretty and hag. IMO, a good response “Yeah, she is, isn’t she? I’m a lucky man” or something similar. The lucky man thing might sound a little corny, but you get my drift. You acknowledge the sentiment without taking ownership.
And given that this is likely to be as much a conversation starter as a compliment, this is an excellent time to add a sentence about your wife’s other talents, whatever they may be.
My default is thank you, but sometimes I feel funny accepting a compliment on someone else’s handiwork. (Unless that handiwork is my parents’s donated genetics, in which case thanks is the only appropriate response.) If the compliment is on, say, an article of clothing, I’ll agree that it’s nice and I’m glad I found it. If I’m in the mood for conversation, I’ll talk about where I got it, and then transition into normal conversation from there.
I get a lot of “Oh, your kids are so cute!” which I can handle. But when someone says, “Oh, your kids look just like you!” then “Thank you” seems a little weird. I like to think it’s a compliment, but it’s really just a comment.
The one I’ve never found a perfect, polite response to that doens’t sound silly to me is when I am out in public in uniform and someone comes up to me and says “thanks for your service to our country.” “You’re welcome” sounds a bit hollow…I have never come up with a satisfactory (to me) answer to that one…
