Restaurant Servers Who Think They Are Comedians

[Johnny_Bravo]

@Saintly_Loser

Oh, please. I described a dinner that probably took around 90 minutes in a few lines of text. So a lack of detail renders the story incredible?

That particular detail, yeah.

Not in the sense that it beggars belief, but in the sense that I wouldn’t expect a reasonable person to jump out of his chair and treat a waiter (even a terminally clueless one) like that out of nowhere. So yeah, the story as you told it is kind of incredible. In the way you shake your head and say, “wow man, that’s incredible.”

Note that I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m just saying that the detail you presumably left out is an important one.

Heck, even if you say your party didn’t ask the waiter to chill out, I believe you. It just changes my previously non-existent opinion of your brother.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

The Straight Dope totally delivers on people taking absolute positions!

Yeah, if you tell a joke and it bombs, and your response is to single someone out and make fun of them for not laughing, you’re kind of being a dick. “Bullying” is a strong word for that, IMO, but dickishness ain’t. And if you can’t read an audience, you shouldn’t be telling jokes: calm politeness is always welcome.

If you’re gonna risk joke-telling, you might get the big reward of a higher tip and a happy set of customers. But you might also piss people off. Them’s the breaks.

[Miller]

@Left_Hand_of_Dorkness

The Straight Dope totally delivers on people taking absolute positions!

Nobody takes absolute positions on the Straight Dope!

[Novelty_Bobble]

@Chronos

[Moderating]
OK, the management of the SDMB has now heard about this. In particular:

Novelty Bobble, maybe you thought you were dancing around it, but this post is a pretty clear personal insult. This is a Warning: If you want to call another poster an annoying arsehole, do so in the Pit.

And to everyone else in this thread, I’m seeing a lot of rising tensions. Either dial it back, or take that to the Pit, too.

I can see how it might be taken that way but for clarity it was not aimed at HeweyLogan, that was my imagined justification in the waiter’s mind when the target of their “humour” refuses to laugh. Hence the reference to “arseholish behaviour” (which HeweyLogan was clearly not guilty of)

I’ll make it even clearer next time.

[Chisquirrel]

@Johnny_Bravo

That particular detail, yeah.

Not in the sense that it beggars belief, but in the sense that I wouldn’t expect a reasonable person to jump out of his chair and treat a waiter (even a terminally clueless one) like that out of nowhere. So yeah, the story as you told it is kind of incredible. In the way you shake your head and say, “wow man, that’s incredible.”

Note that I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m just saying that the detail you presumably left out is an important one.

Heck, even if you say your party didn’t ask the waiter to chill out, I believe you. It just changes my previously non-existent opinion of your brother.

Nah, his brother just ruined the meals of a whole lot of other people that were paying $100 because no one could be bothered to quietly ask for a manager or seek one out about the situation.

It may just be the server in me, but when someone causes a loud fuss at a restaurant, my first thought is definitely not how bad the server may have fucked up.

[kayaker]

@apLundell

I’ve got food at home. If I find the service grating, then what am I even paying for?

No dishes to wash!

[Pantastic]

@WOOKINPANUB

That’s reasonable enough, I suppose. I’m just getting a big sense of self-importance here.

Yes, most of us have enough self-esteem not to put up with bad behavior from people who we’re paying to make our lives easier. The biggest unjusitified sense of self-importance that I see are people who feel that as a waiter they get to dictake behavior to patrons, to the point that we have people claiming that simply telling a waiter to knock off obnoxious behavior is offensive, that waiters are entitled to a tip even if they refuse to do their job, and (my favorite) that an 8-year-old scared by a joking death threat from a waiter is the one in the wrong.

It’s mountains made out of (possibly)imaginary mole hills.

As far as I can tell, the only mountains being made out of mole hills are the people who are upset that someone would use a phrase like ‘that’s enough of that, sir’ in response to bad behavior or who think that it’s awful for a patron to complain to management about bad service. (And no, an eight-year-old who gets scared when a server jokes about killing her doesn’t count as making a mountain out of a mole hill).

[gigi]

@Inner_Stickler

Plus, it means I can luxuriate in my magnanimity the rest of the evening.

You do that right there at the table?!? :eek:

[Martini_Enfield]

I like humorous waitstaff. If I wanted FoodBot 9000 I’d go to a fast food restaurant, but if I’m dining out it adds to the experience when you get a waiter with a sense of humour and knows when to be “funny” and when to be “serious”.

I was in LA last year with some colleagues and we were trying to work out what drinks to have with dinner, and the waiter said “Hey, you guys are Australian, right? I could just have them wheel a keg out here for you” and we all thought it was hilarious. Added to the good mood of the evening no end; and I can’t imagine anyone getting pissy about it or thinking the waiter was implying we were all alcoholics or something. It was legitimately funny and much appreciated.

[Novelty_Bobble]

@Martini_Enfield

I like humorous waitstaff. If I wanted FoodBot 9000 I’d go to a fast food restaurant, but if I’m dining out it adds to the experience when you get a waiter with a sense of humour and knows when to be “funny” and when to be “serious”.

I don’t think anyone is objecting to humour, the key is in your final point, in the OP’s case they didn’t know when to be serious.

[Noel_Prosequi]

Since I wasn’t at any of the dinners under discussion here and am in no position to judge the social nuances, I will refrain.

I’ve got my own bad waitering stories but they are few and far between. I have the advantage that, on the looks spectrum, I am closer to Churchill than Hemsworth, which gives me a splendid Resting Bitch Face. Accordingly, waiters tend not to try schtick on me.

But it wasn’t always so, which leads me to the point of my story, which is about waiters going above and beyond the call of duty.

I was 19 or so, and way back then cut a certain dash, although the awkwardness of youth had not left me, so still no Hemsworth.

I went with about 10 fellow students to a themed restaurant (Olde Englande) as I recall, with a bit of an interactive show, serving “wenches”, and so on.

At one point in the entertainment everyone was standing for some reason, when the MC got everyone to kiss the person next to them. Not everyone was a couple at our table, so there was a certain frisson of sauciness in doing so, but we had an odd number and I was the one left out.

So a very pretty waitress put down her tray, grabbed me, and gave me the loveliest kiss. And not just a peck. We’re talking tongues, here.

She didn’t have to do that. And this was Oz, where we don’t tip (so no “Did you give her a tip, fnurr, fnurr” jokes, if you will.)

I still get that wistful look when I remember it.

[Pantastic]

@Novelty_Bobble

I don’t think anyone is objecting to humour, the key is in your final point, in the OP’s case they didn’t know when to be serious.

And in one case, threatened to kill a kid as a joke. If your sense of humor and general appropriate conversation is bad enough that you think joking to an unknown 8-year-old about serving them (effectively) poisoned food is perfectly fine, the service industry may not be for you.

[Jackmannii]

@Noel_Prosequi

At one point in the entertainment everyone was standing for some reason, when the MC got everyone to kiss the person next to them. Not everyone was a couple at our table, so there was a certain frisson of sauciness in doing so, but we had an odd number and I was the one left out.

So a very pretty waitress put down her tray, grabbed me, and gave me the loveliest kiss.

I’m reminded of the time Mrs. J. and I were dining out at a restaurant in Anchorage (Alaska, for you non-norte Americanos). The waitress decided not only to slide into the booth seat next to me to take our orders, she also put an arm around me, which made me a bit uncomfortable, not only because it resulted in a classic Death Glare from Mrs. J.

It’s not always smart for the server to assume that the male half is paying the bill (and tip).

[HeweyLogan]

You should have shoved her out of the booth and said ‘That’ll be enough of that, woman!’

[j666]

Waiting tables is not easy work, and servers should be treated as respected professionals. Helps if they are professional.

When I go out to eat, which I do a lot, I want my server to be efficient. It’s nice if s/he is pleasant. It’s fine if s/he is friendly. It’s acceptable if s/he tries to be funny and avoids being offensive.

It’s annoying if s/he is intrusive, and beyond that if s/he is what one of Maggie Smith characters would call “presumptuous”.

I know the appropriate way to deal with offensive, or even just incompetent, servers is to request a replacement from the manager, but that might lead to retaliation, toward me or the server. A stoney stare should put the relationship back on professional footing, but if it doesn’t, a mild rebuke might be necessary.

@HeweyLogan

You should have shoved her out of the booth and said ‘That’ll be enough of that, woman!’

“Madam”, or possibly “Miss”, both of which are titles of address. It would have been unpardonably rude to address her as “woman”, or even “lady”

@Inner_Stickler

… as customers we are not restricted in our actions and comments the way the server is.

Obviously not in the case of many of the servers here.

[gigi]

This thread affected me more than I thought. I dreamed I was out with old friends and the waiters kept joking around and touching my arm after I told them not too, and then playing jokes on me even after I yelled at them to stop. :eek: I left the restaurant but my friends stayed and ate, and then it turned into an “I’m walking everywhere trying to find my people but I can’t find them anywhere” dream.

[Spice_Weasel]

I don’t mind humor as long as it’s not mean spirited. We went out to eat once and the server, who was a young guy, started haranguing another patron for his choice of pants. He then started haranguing the woman for not doing a better job dressing her husband. Then he said something to the effect of, “I shop at X clothing store because unlike you, I actually want to get laid.” I thought they might know each other, but the archaic attitude of blaming the woman just grossed us out so much.

We almost didn’t return, but the food there is so damned good. Fortunately that guy either left, or changed so dramatically, that we never noticed him again.

If any server cozied up and put her arm around MY man, I might have to (metaphorically) cut a bitch.