So, the Chairwoman got to pick a new underling at work not too long ago. She had so many damn resumes that she had to bring them home to flip through.
Now, on one hand, it was very sad because there were some very skilled people who were obviously down on their luck and were applying for something, anything…and then there were those people who were applying because you never know when Unemployment is going to come calling for you to prove that you aren’t just sucking up their cash.
One of the more memorable applicants was a woman who described herself as “impactful.” Now, I know she just grabbed that out of a resume book, but I have absolutely no idea what that means. It sounds like something painful that happens to your teeth or your bowels.
I’ve run across this phrase a couple of times since and it just appears to be some buzzword spreading memetically, hoping to infect evermore people until it only serves to mark those who use is at behind the times.
I cannot fathom how being “impactful” would be a desirable trait unless you were either a) a wrecking ball operator or b) a boxer.
On my last job, I used to screen resumes for the boss and I’d see the same thing, including people who were desperate for anything they could get. I’m a bit of a purist when it comes to the English language. Using words like “impactful” counted against a person. I also would have downgraded any resume which used the word “utilize” when “use” would be more appropriate, but there were too many of them. There really are some horrible resumes out there!
The worst, however, wasn’t a resume. It was a phone call after I’d sent out letters telling about half the people who’d sent them that we weren’t interested. One fellow actually called 3 times to curse me out for rejecting him and continued to do so even after I explained it was the boss’ decision, not mine. (The first time he called, I was at lunch.) Yes, my name was at the bottom of the letter, but the final decision belonged to my boss. His name is now flagged in my former employer’s files just in case he ever applies for a job with them again.
I went to business school, and my girlfriend is always amazed at how easily I can switch to business-speak. It’s surprisingly easy - just take any major word in the sentence and replace it with a more complicated synonym, then toss in a nonsense phrase at the end.
Example:
Normal person: “I’m going to take the dog to the park.”
Business speak: “I am in the process of transporting our primary canine resource to a contained wilderness area for the synergistic purposes of waste elimination and physical exertion.”
I read this thread early this morning and thought I had never heard “impactful” from anyone, and then later in the morning I had a meeting, and the chair said it!!! :eek:
It sounds like someone found themselves in the company of a headhunter who loved to have his or her candidates doctor their resumes to include the buzzword of the day. Impactful is a good one, along with change agent, dynamic leadership, implementation specialist, utilized, and anything involving Lean manufacturing terminology.
