Retail Stupidity

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yes, this is a thread about stupidly in retail stores. Can be stupid customers, stupid employees, stupid management, stupid architecture…

I once had a customer forget what store he was in. Not, “forget which branch of a chain of stores he was in” but “forgot what company he was dealing with”. Misidentified my store with Wal-Mart. Then insisted to the person him with him we were a Target. Wrong again.

Currently, the company I work for has the check-out display a survey question at the end of the transaction. When not enough customers availed themselves of the opportunity to answer said questions they started making answering them a requirement. So… either the customer answer it… or the NEXT customer answers it so their transaction can take place… or the cashier answers it. Today, one of the customers, pissed off at being “bothered”, said “I actually like the store but I’m pissed off so I’m going to answer “no” 'cause I hate this sort of survey.” :rolleyes: Way to go.

WHY does anyone put money on a moving conveyor belt? What makes sense about that? “Oh, the belt will stop.” Riiiiight… I express my doubts and mention seeing the belt eat coupons, placemats, and one time a quarter. One time, we had a $50 bill go under… I am really glad that was one of my days off and I wasn’t involved. But some of these twits will insist that no, that never happens. Well, sure, I’m only here 20-40 hours a week, what could I possibly know about this machine?

This week, one of my co-workers shouted out a question to me from the next register over: “Do we take half dollars?” Well, yes, of course we do, they ARE legal tender here… and I thought my customer was going to hurt herself laughing so hard but trying to do it quietly. Yes, we also take dollar coins and two dollar bills.

Dear customer: Whether or not those clothing items just rung up are on sale or not, they are ringing up full price. Unfortunately, I do not have the authority or the ability to alter the total by nearly $200 and calling someone in the department will not change that. Calling a manager will not change that. The only way to get a price adjustment that large is to go to customer service. No, calling the Store Director will not change it, either - yes, she can authorize it, but the register will not process it. The transaction has to be transferred to customer service to do this.

If I can not identify the vegetable/fruit you are purchasing I can not ring it up. Yelling “IT’S A DOLLAR SIXTY-NINE A POUND!” does not help because it is not the name of a fruit or a vegetable. Our Corporate Overlords have decreed that we can NOT ring up food items with a per-pound price anymore because it gives the computerized inventory fits. Yelling “IT’S A DOLLAR SIXTY-NINE A POUND!” repeatedly does not change this. Yelling “IT’S A DOLLAR SIXTY-NINE A POUND!” louder does not change this. If I do not have the Magic UPC Number I can not ring your stuff up.

If you’ve forgotten your password to your digital coupon account I can not retrieve it for you. Why our coupon accounts need passwords is a bit baffling to me, as that is generally not super-secret information, but there ya go.

Your ID and the information on your credit card account has to really, really, really, definitely match. Just moved? Sorry - I know it’s a pain but we can not do this until your ID and account information match. I don’t care that the store the next county over let you do that (and personally I am having grievous doubts as to the veracity of your claim), they aren’t supposed to do that, we don’t allow it, and talking to a manager is not going to change that. We both want to keep our jobs.

I don’t care what the DMV said, that paper copy of your new license is NOT as good as the permanent license you’re still waiting to get in the mail. We can not accept it as proof of age for purchasing fireworks, pellet guns, R-rated movies, cough syrup, spray paint, lottery tickets, alcohol, tobacco, or firearm ammunition. The bar you went to last night accepted it? That’s their problem. Those of us who work here want to keep our jobs.

On the other hand: my younger and less experienced in life co-workers passports ARE legal proof of age.

Yes, there are some traces of dirt on your ORGANIC potatoes. That is what they grow in. Let me tell you about what mushrooms grow in…

OK, customers: cilantro and flat-leaf parsley bear a remarkable similarity to each other in regards to appearance… but they sure as hell don’t smell or taste the same. Please make note of this, otherwise your results may not be what you expect when you cook with it. Unfortunately, some of the stocking employees are either clueless or lazy or both. Or possibly too high to care. I dunno. But it is not unknown for cilantro to wind up in the parsley bin and/or parsley in the cilantro bin. Then some idiot decided that plastic bags for such produce would be just fine in green… which only further conceals the identities of these leafy condiments. I’d prefer NOT to unwrap and snort your leafy condiments due to both sanitary issues and the fact that I really don’t want to get that intimate with anything you are purchasing. So don’t get your panties in a twist if I ask for clarification.

Likewise, if you tell me, for example, it’s cilantro and I identify it as parsley please do not keep insisting it is cilantro. Or vice versa. Because there is a REASON I am telling you this. If you really, really insist one of these things is actually the other I will sell it to you but please do not return to us in a day or a week and complain that your home-cooked meal tasted “weird” because or cilantro/parsley was bad. No, it wasn’t - you just, apparently, are oblivious to the fact they smell and taste completely different.

And that’s probably enough for now.

2

Somebody had a bad day.

3

I get “WHY WON’T YOU TAKE A HALF SIZED BLURRED PHOTOCOPY OF THE FRONT OF MY ID ON ON A CRUMPLED PIECE OF PAPER!?!?”

4

ref Item #2 - I have walked out of a store with a purchase half completed when the store “demanded” I answer their impertinent and un-necessary questions. Left loudly as well. You want information from me, pay for it. You get nothing for free.*

ref Item #6 - What, you don’t have the UPC memorized for every single item in the store? Slacker.

ref Item #12 - I so agree. Separate the parsley from the cilantro as far as possible and make sure your stock people have working noses.

    • I already know what you are going to say and I stand by my answer. They can either pay me or pay a market research firm.
5

Regarding cilantro or parsley in the wrong location, it could also be due to careless customers putting it there after handling it. It happens all the time with other items. I had a customer expect to pay a lower price for some clothing that was simply placed in the wrong location (probably by another customer), and the price there was less. I would be more likely to steal something than ask for such a thing (and I don’t steal).

6

Years ago, I was working at a grocery store, and an older woman asked me where the Walgreens batteries were. I blinked and said “At Walgreens.” :eek: :smack:

7

I am not answering survey questions if I don’t feel like answering survey questions. That’s not a remotely reasonable thing to require of customers. The rolleyes in this case should be aimed at the company.

8

A friend of mine once worked at a Dollar Tree. There were always people asking her how much something cost, and if they had item x, with x being something like VCRs or tennis shoes.

9

I try to be tolerant, and so I don’t have a lot of retail stupidity stories - usually I can justify things by thinking, “well, it made sense to SOMEONE.”

But my pet peeve is making it incredibly hard to find what I would consider to be normal, non-exotic products, by placing them in inexplicably weird places. An example: raisins at my local Safeway.

I looked in the baking aisle, where things like nuts, flour, sugar, vanilla, and other commonly used items for baking can be found. Nope.

I looked in the aisle that listed “fruit snacks” where they have things like fruit rolls, granola bars, and the like. Nope.

I looked in the not-particularly-marked section next to the produce which seems to be a monument to Ocean Spray, where they sell cranraisins and the like. Nope.

So where does my local Safeway put their raisins? Oh, in the produce section, underneath a bin of oranges or apples or something.

Right. That makes total sense.

10

Same issue as when I did call center technical support. NO I CANNOT FORCE THE COMPUTER/TERMINAL TO TAKE YOUR CREDIT CARD. There’s a reason it was declined by the on-line credit system (which is not ours, by the way, but like, THE WORLD’S) and we can’t just hit a button that says “take it anyway”.

No, I don’t have a say in it, I didn’t do it to you, I can’t stop it from happening. I did not embarrass you or single you out. Your credit card company told us not to accept it. That’s between you and them. You figure it out on your own time, because nothing is changing here. You need another damned form of payment or we don’t do this.

That’s it. Those are the only choices we’re both given. Deal with it.

11

One of my local supermarkets, it you enter and go to your right, has bread along the first wall, then the corner, then refrigerated vegetable stuffs such as juices (and in the floor space, the rows of fresh fruits and vegetables), then there is a largish break and the fishmonger, and several refrigerators in front of the fishmonger’s holding the prepackaged fish, shrimp salad, etc. I’ve been asked where was the meat by someone who apparently found it surprising that the fridges in front of the fishmonger’s would be full of fish (she’d exclaimed “what? It’s all fish!”). FTR, the fridges with prepackaged meats are in front of the butcher. I guess she must have been even more “not from around here” than I am, but still, why would there be prepackaged mincemeat in front of the place that sells you trout and squid?

12

I cannot tell you how many people have asked where the batteries are while standing within 3’ of the battery display.

13

Yep, I’ve done the exact same thing as a customer - problem is, as an employee I don’t have a lot of choice.

I forget if it was Office Max or Office Depot (doesn’t matter now since they’ve merged anyway) but my spouse and I walked in to buy some copier paper and were subjected to a lengthy questionnaire wanting things like our address, phone number, e-mail, etc. Walked out in the middle of the transaction on that one.

Walgreen’s used to give checking out customers the third degree - I stopped shopping there for years because of it.

But pity the poor employees who are given no choice about this and have to put up with the pissed off customers.

The only way to change it is to call the corporate offices and bitch, but even that’s not a guarantee.

14

Oh, we have people trying that with an entire cartload - if it’s just one item I can see it being by accident, 15 pairs of pants, though? Not so much. Then there are the folks who peel the clearance sticker off one item and put it on a full-price item.

But yeah, careless customers are a thing.

Speaking of careless - WHY do people dump items they don’t want in the little aisle at the check-out? I am standing right there. “I didn’t want to bother you?” WTF? I am there to be bothered. You are not bothering me by handing me the pint of ice cream instead of leaving it to melt on the candy bars. Change your mind on that 10 pound bag of potatoes? Please hand it to me instead of dumping it on top of the bin of potato chips. (Both true occurrences). Went round several times with a lady wanting to drop stuff she didn’t want on the shelf - no PLEASE hand it to me I said and she’s no, I don’t want to bother you. No, really, it’s less bother if you hand it to me than if I have to go around and pick all the bits out of the candy shelf that you left there.

15

It was.

Corporate is having trouble understanding that you can’t force feedback out of the customers. Apparently someone wants a measurable metric. Me, I think the fact we’re making buttloads of money while situated on a road with about 5 competitors within 5 miles of us is a good metric that we’re doing something right, but hey, I just work here.

16

Not a complaint:

Some company we deal with packages little squids in a vacuum-packed frozen thing and they look remarkably like a well-known eldritch horror. The first time I saw one I almost blurted out “You’re having Chthulhu for dinner?” I mean, wow, the Old Gods just aren’t what they used to be…

17

I’ve been asked to answer survey questions after a transactions, but never asked to answer them as a condition to letting me complete a transaction. I think the first time a company tried to force me into this would be the last time I shopped there.

18

What do you do if the ID doesn’t have their address on it?

19

I am a store cashier. I could write a book on this very subject. Some of the routine questions I get asked:

You don’t carry (insert item here). Why not? Are you going to get any in the future? Where can I buy it?

Which one of these items is better?

How much is this item (because I’m supposed to know the price of everything in the store)

Do you have any more in the back (I always want to answer this: Yes, we’re here to sell things. That’s why we hide them).

I’m standing at the register, my light is on, and I’m scanning items. People will come up and ask “Are you open?”

As for people who dump things at the register, I hope there’s a special place in hell for them. I swear, there are people who think it’s funny to bring things to the register and throw them there. I guess they think we have little elves who return everything to the shelves.

20

Dear Kroger checker: I really don’t give a shit about your correspondence with some Filipina that you met on line, whom you’ve never met, and who is eagerly awaiting your arrival in Manila when you retire next year. If you’re really stupid enough to fall for this scam, you deserve whatever is waiting for you. In the meantime, just keep sending her money, but leave your customers out of your pipe dreams.