Welcome back!
http://www.ibphoenix.com/resources/documents/history/doc_295
The good old days of Datatrieve.
And welcome back!!
Awesome!
You were gone? Sorry, I hadn’t noticed.
I’m glad to see you back! How is the tea shop going?
It’s like the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano, but for a returning Wombat not being a swallow and January not being March.
But both have a mission, San Juan Capistrano (since 1776) and the Straight Dope (since 1973).
Good to have you back, Gary.
If I can manage to make it by your bookstore, as I’ve always wanted to, I’ll pick up my own autographed copy. 
Even in a thread like this all we get is a bunch of mods circling the wagons!! Won’t any mods or admins here stand up to the Wombat and tell him how unhappy they are and how unwelcome he is to be back?
Oh and by the way, welcome back
You have no idea how tempting it was to issue a warning for that
Maybe I picked the wrong publisher. I wonder how sales would be for a scratch & sniff poop book?
Going amazingly well, thanks! In fact, I just tweaked the formula for the first house blend that was named on the Straight Dope (“Mr. Excellent’s Post-Apocalyptic Earl Grey”) so that it now uses all organic ingredients.
I’d love to have you visit!
Obviously, you don’t know the mod rules. Any mod that doesn’t welcome back another mod returning from sabbatical has to meet that mod in a steel-cage fight. I may be old and slow, but I’m large and treacherous!
See, he’s lost his seniority so now he has to go back on cleaning the hamster cages. That’s why we’re all glad he’s back. (It’s good to have a poop expert on that job too.)
And a “Wombat”. They’re almost as bad as “Honey Badgers”. Except for the smell. That’s even worse.
Maybe he could bring a bunch of his wombat friends to replace the hamsters? That should improve performance!
Did you get the correct size jackboots? Don’t forget the verbal lash from Tuba…
Welcome Back!!! 
I kept my old jackboots. It’s quite difficult to find them big enough for me.
There are only 115 northern hairy-nosed wombats left? (Well, 116 if you count me.)
I knew it was bad, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.
Better start mating soon!
and shaving your nose!
The wombat is a mythical beast. I don’t believe you exist.
“Factual”, that is, except the bits about their association with Dante, epergnes, and Lewis Carroll.