What are your thoughts on revenge ?

Have you ever gotten revenge ? Why ?
Did it turn out well or badly ?
How did you feel immediately after getting revenge ?
How do you feel about getting revenge in hindsight ?

Revenge ain’t worth the aggravation, heartache, and legal expenses.

Revenge is a dish, best served cold.
Old Klingon Proverb

In theory, I like the revenge idea… but I can never go through with it. Instead I construct elaborate imaginary situations in which I’m getting the perfect revenge.
Actually, I’ve often found myself in situations where I have the power to make a giant mess of someone’s life… and I’ve been angry/hurt enough to ALMOST do it. But I’ve never crossed that line. Stabbing pins into a voodoo doll with glee, yes. But getting someone fired, deported, or otherwise in big trouble, no.
Sometimes I think I’m too good for my own good. :slight_smile:

I never saw the point of revenge. What’s to be gained? What’s to be proven? At most, I’ll permit myself the fantasy of revenge, then I let go and get on with life.

My energies are better spent elsewhere.

Hardly ever worth the trouble. Usually if they’ve done something to piss me off, they have problems of their own and karma will catch up to them anyway, without my intervention.

I’m very hesitant with revenge because I don’t want to get myself into trouble legally or have the situation escalate into violence by the other person. Usually people who require revenge are a little unhinged to begin with, so unless you have a lot more nerve than I do, it’s safest just to walk away from the situation.

That said, I did - once in my life - get revenge on someone. I dated a guy in college and, after missing all the obvious signs, I finally found out that he was engaged (and his fiancee was pregnant). I had also surmised during the whole relationship that he was a bit of a mama’s boy - his mom’s opinion of him was extremely important to him.

So, when I found out his situation, I boxed up everything he’d ever given me (including romantic cards and some of his clothing he’d left at my apartment) and sent it to his mom with a little, friendly note. I have no idea what the outcome was because I never heard from the guy again, but I hope that his mom used this as a “teaching opportunity.” At the very least, I hope the guy figured out that the next person he cheated with could send all the evidence to his fiancee instead.

I’m still pretty satisfied with my act of revenge and it was immensely satisfying at the time.

Ideally, we’d all seek revenge in the same way that Jesus did, namely never.

I used to think that revenge was completely a loser’s game, and I still feel pretty much that way, but I’ve changed my mind to the extent that there are a few very narrowly crafted exceptions (to use lawyer’s terms) to that rule.

The basic problem with revenge is that it prevents you from getting on with your life – it puts the person who harmed you in front of you instead of behind you where they belong. The best revenge really is a live well lived.

But on occasion people can do you such deep harm, and such long-lasting harm, that you find it impossible to adjust and get on with your life, and so the harm that is done you is not something you CAN put behind you, however devoutly you might wish to do so.

Frex, a relative of mine developed an instrument useful in transportation. Basically it was a computer chip in a box that did something very useful. He and his co-developer patented it and soon had about $4 million in orders for the product. A large corporation came to him and expressed an interest in buying it for $2 million. They said that if they did not sell the product at the price given, they would steal the product and not give them any money for it.

My relative told them to take a hike, not liking the Mafiaesque terms of the deal and figuring he was protected by his patent. Wrong. The company did exactly what they said they would, stealing he product which is now in wide use, but my relative never got a cent for developing it. Instead he went broke and had to take a dangerous Third World country to make money. He was kidnapped several times while on the job. He says he had no practical legal recourse against the extremely well-heeled firm that did him wrong.

Now, I would consider this adequate grounds for revenge. the harm done my relative was long-lasting and deep. I think he would be justifed in coming up iwth some way of getting revenge on the corporation or its officers in order to allow him to go on with his life. He’s chosen not to take revenge and is getting on with his life, and I applaud that decision, but I wouldn’t BLAME him if he decided he had to even the score a bit to make life psychologically easier.

This is an extreme example. More common I think would be cases where someone loses a job because their boss has been an idiot and pinned it on them. They lose their income, maybe their house, maybe their car, maybe their family if times are tough enough economically, as they are right now in many areas. Under those circumstances, it might be necessary to get some revenge, so that you could go out and look for work with a sense of completion to your old job.

I still think revenge is a loser’s game, but sometime people do lose and need to put thing right.

One caveat: I don’t think one should suffer repercussions for one’s revenge, since the idea is to even the score, not just to have another iteration of harm. For that reason, most illegal acts of revenge are out. Still, there are a lot of legal and “grey” things one can do if one puts one’s mind to it, that could cause an individual a certain amout of unpleasantness. The best revenge would be ones of the sort C3 cited, where there might even have been a positive outcome for the person she got her revenge on. The people behind Megan’s law and the Amber Alert are other examples of constructive revenge seekers.

Revenge of course must be used only for major harms – if you go around getting revenge for minor slights, you’re just an asshole.

“Revenge is mine saith the Lord.”

To anwser your questions…
What are your thoughts on revenge ?
----It is better left alone …although I fantasize about it.
Actually I only fantasize about revenge with my ex husband, I think of ways to torture him. Like catch him, tie him up and shave off his mustache! That would kill him!!! Or maybe plucking his chest hairs one by one. OOOh I gotta a million ways. Better not confess them here.

Have you ever gotten revenge ? Why ?
----not yet

Getting even is something I’ve outgrown. In my early twenties, however, I, well, let’s just say I had some growing up to do.

You can NEVER get even. Never. If you give what you got, either it will seem inadequate to you, or it will bring the other guy a need to hurt you again. Or, very often, both!

Living well is the best revenge. Walk away clean.

Usually revenge is best left alone. Seeking it will cause you more trouble than it’s worth, or there is nothing to gain by it.

Very rarely, an opportunity presents itself for truly elegant revenge, where the victim can connect the vengeance with the original transgression and learn his/her lesson (as oppossed to just an event that the victim can interpret as random misfortune), but without inciting yet another round of vengeance back at you, and without requiring so much effort on your part that you are set back more back the act of revenge than the intended victim. If you get one of those opportunities, take it and enjoy your job well done.

I’m not concerned with getting even.

I prefer to win, all the while rubbing their face in it like a grade school bully on ritalin.

Revenge is flat out fan-fuckin’-tastic! Some people need to get whats coming to them! :smiley:

However, being on the lazy side, I don’t go out of my way to get it. A couple of times, however, the opportunity was laid out in front of me like it was on a golden platter and I would have been remiss in my duties to ignore it. Man, it was sweet, too!

Delta-32 Skee-doo!

I’ve often entertained the idea of hunting down the people who’ve pissed me off by sabotaging their property or otherwise causing them great inconveniences and/or expenses or embarrassment, but I’ve never actually gone forward with any of the fiendish ideas that I have thought of.

Next time you visit the bookstore, look for George Hayduke’s books on revenge (they’re in the humor section and the books are only intended to be read as such). The books do give advice and caveats on going forth with any revenge scheme. The main things it emphasizes are to wait awhile before getting even so the “mark” (the bad guy) doesn’t suspect anything, to never use anything other than cash for any items purchased and to buy them away from home in places you don’t intend to buy from again, only use pay phones or a phone that belongs to another mark, and always wear gloves when handling any materials related to the revenge scheme.

On rare occasions, I’ve been angry enough to seek revenge. Nothing illegal, of course. It has been very gratifying on those occasions, especially for the people who deserved it to finally get what was coming to them.

I agree with FairyChatMom and AskNott among others…it seems to me that seeking revenge gives someone else power over your life. Feeling bad, obsessing, and even enjoying thoughts of revenge mean that you are spending your life in a way dictated by some harm done to you.

Move on to what you positively desire is my thinking.

Before you seek revenge first dig two graves.
Old Chinese proverb

When I was young and stupid, I had anger management issues. I decided that Karma would handle it. Lo and Behold, that person was delivered to me with his balls in my hand. I smiled at them, and let them go. It felt Great…Another time I pissed on someones grave, that also felt Great…