Reverend Mykeru's Ban Countdown Clock

[Reverend_Mykeru]

Coldfire

Reverend Mykeru, over the course of the past few days, I have attempted several times to demonstrate that your behaviour on this message board (The Straight Dope Message Board, all forums, though mainly the Pit - just avoiding confusion here) has been hostile, unpleasant, and disproportionally focused on the one forum that does very little to fight ignorance.

Hostile, unpleasant?..I was just adapting to the SDMB culture. And you are accusing me of what? Flaming in a flame forum? I must have missed the “Posters with less than X posts please roll over and die for regulars” sign. Perhaps it was covered by the “Abandon All Hope” or “Arbeit Macht Frei” signs.

In doing so, I have always remained polite. True, I did advise you that your behaviour had the attention of the staff. Think of it as my attempt at a stern reminder that you shape up. Obviously, it failed.

A stern reminder to take it from the regs and say “Thank you sir, may I have another”.

Did you also bring to the “attention of the staff” the threads that introduced me to the SDMB, including a viscious personal attack thread posted about me?

Or is it one of those “all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others things”

You thrive on controversy. Your only goal on these message boards so far has been to get yourself into a tiny argument over something frivolous, only to then blow it all up to a flame war of gigantic proportions.

Yes. Yes I did. And I am so clever, so devious, that I can trick people into creating threads just to attack me. Does my cunning and deceit know no end?

You use 200 eloquently arranged words to basically tell someone he’s a shithead. You play semantics games, backpedalling and rephrasing your previous posts as you go along.

Example?

And would you just prefer that I come right out and call people a shithead? It seems to work for many or your regulars here.

In short, you post to get a rise out of people, because you are quite fond of the way your rebuttals look.

No. I post to express an opinion. Is the spectre of trolling going to be raised here?

We’ve got a word for that.

I bet I know what it is.

You’re more eloquent than the normal garden variety trolls we get around here.

Oh, he shoots. He scores.

You know, it’s very sad, I think, that a moderator on the SDMB relegates anyone with an opinion, or anyone that responds in kind as a “troll” and then ignores it when a regular, like Jeff Olsen pretty much admits to trolling?

What could explain that? I think this comes under the rubric of the special SDMB definition of a troll as “anyone whose opinion I don’t like and, converseky, anyone I don’t like with an opinion”

I even accuse you of being a bad writer: some of the columns on your website are well-written, and often entertaining.

No, but you can accuse me of being a troll because you disagree with me.

It is, however, my carefully conceived opinion that you are an utter asshat,

Hey, thanks for not taking 200 words to say that.

besides being a moderately gifter writer. I’m not going to respond to your line-by-line discection of my last post. I’m sure you could counter my reply with even more inflammatory questions and remarks.

Which is just a disingenuous way of saying “Don’t disagree with me and, what’s more, don’t defend yourself”.

(Mykeru scribbles on his notepad: “Make column on Coldfire, and how I slapped this SDMB Moderator into submission so hard, he didn’t even dare respond!”)

Why would I do that? You give yourself and the SDMB too much credit. As I said. I only referenced the SDMB twice, once was to counter Jeff Olsen’s (you know, the troll) unequivocal claim that I didn’t own my own site. The other was to use a comment as a starting point.

I think what really bothers Dopers about being referenced on my web site is that you don’t moderate it and don’t control it.

Instead, I’ll update our internal correspondence on newbie Reverend Mykeru with my latest analysis. In the long run, we’ll all be better off if you and the SDMB part ways soon, Rev.

And then the SDMB congratulates itself on running off another newbie and has a celebratory feces flinging fiesta. Then they fall into the more comfortable routine of beating on posters that don’t fight back.
elf6c

Sadly, all his stupid act seems to be is a poor attempt at performance art combined with blatant attention whoring. Time to flush him with the other turds.

Yes, but I aspire to be like you: A conscientious wit and master of scatology.

Jeff Olsen (again)

He tried to address the situation here, at least where I’m concerned, but it didn’t do him any good. I pretty much ignored his name calling so he posted it on his site instead. All that did was make him look even more like an arrogant ass.

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you spin so much I’m surprised one of your fillings don’t fly out.

Long and short of it: You ended up on a web site that you denied was mine. Just a remarkable co-incidence. Call Unsolved Mysteries.

Diane

Goodnight Gracie.

Good night Mrs. Kalabash, where ever you are.

jr8

So - anyone read any good books lately?

I just finished Jack Finney’s “From Time to Time” the sequel to his 1970 sleeper hit novel “Time and Again”. Good read. One of those books where you don’t want the last page to come. Unfortunately, the subplot about the Titanic seems a little overdone after the 1997 Titanic-mania, even though the book predates that. I also tend to disagree with his premise of the good old days, that the late 19th century was a kinder, gentler time, considering places like Whitechapel and Hell’s Kitchen and having seen turn of the century crime photography. So it’s escapism: Buy the premise, buy the book.

[Reverend_Mykeru]

Munch

Pops in from the bizzaro universe to post:

quote:

Right, and all Munch was doing was 1. Correcting me on some silly forum/message board distinction 2. Erroneously claimed I only posted in the BBQ Pit and 3. Lauded my qualities as a troll.

I did absolutely no such thing. Your constant misrepresentation of facts around here completely undermines your excellent writing and ability to be taken seriously. Your continual refusal to agree on common jargon on this message board compromises the message you intend to communicate, and locks the discussion in a battle of semantics, as the crux of any cogent argument at hand slowly sinks to the bottom with the rest of the whale shit.

Oh, OK. Never happened:

1. Correcting me on some silly forum/message board distinction

On his site, it appears that RM uses “forums” to describe message boards, and not the various categories within one particular message board. It’s these small inconsistencies that can create a huge communication gap,

2. Erroneously claimed I only posted in the BBQ Pit

due to his insistence on being nowhere but the Pit, it’s going to be a short contribution.

3. Lauded my qualities as a troll.

RM immediately began stirring the shitpot upon arrival, and no assistance was necessary to make him look like a troll (the sock accusation was bogus) - he did a bang-up job of that all by himself.

That must just be my “constant misrepresentation of facts” or maybe because I learned the generic version of English instead of the special pig-latin Doper version of it.

[Munch]

Holy crap. Just to clarify, the bolded line (#2) is what I was referring to (I admit to #1 and #3, as they are true). And as you seem to completely disregard posts that destroy your argument, I’ll refer you to where I mention that 98% of your posts were in the Pit (for the mathmatically-challenged, that leaves 2% outside of the Pit).

Really, try to keep up.

[kabbes]

Me:
Even Diane, the staunchest defender of the idea that you have been harshly treated - has recognised just how unpleasant and obnoxious you have been in recent threads.

The poor, persecuted wretch:
That must be why she wrote:

Diane, not someone to get on the wrong side of:
Kabbes - I agree with you totally. He lashed out unfairly at you. However, it was after a couple of days worth of being put on the defensive by people hell bend on making him appear to be a sock or troll. They kept stirring the shit pot.

I am not saying that his attitude is excusable, I am just saying that he isn’t alone in the blame for things getting to this point. It is JMHO that he was antagonized to this point and now some posters have their panties in a twist that he got angry.

Even ignoring the bolded part, I note that that was then and this is now:

By Diane:
Goodnight Gracie.

And then finally:

Poor persecuted wretch, apparently not even realising that his final guardian angel had deserted him:

Good night Mrs. Kalabash, where ever you are.

Revisionist? Toi?

And the final nail in the coffin of someone who is well and truly beaten:

When commenting on my writing and how horrible it is, it might be a good idea to recognize the distinction between the possessive “your” and the contraction “you’re”.

Oh dear, oh dear. Seizing upon homophonic typos. And not even a consistent pattern of errors, but just one that happened to slip through the net. And not even in relation to any comment that I’d made on your grammatical ability, despite your sly attempt to insinuate such.

That’s just… sad.

You poor little prince.

pan

[3trew]

I was tempted, the other day, to do a post about how a pit thread I won’t bother to name could be solved by the application of Reason, but I didn’t know if there were enough Stephenson fans around to make it worthwhile and I couldn’t think of a way to tickle that particular memory without resorting to something like “… if Hiro hadn’t dropped the damned thing overboard”.

Too obscure, or should I have gone for it?

Diamond Age was a great read.

[Sauron]

Reverend Mykeru, my final attempt at friendly advice: You’re not doing yourself any favors.

Contrary to what you seem to believe, the purpose of the regulars on these forums isn’t to make life hard on the newbies. There are more than 31,000 members of this board, the vast majority of whom joined within the past two years. If the old-timers here were constantly on the prod for new members, the membership ranks wouldn’t have swelled so quickly.

You can continue to poke at the people who’ve poked you. Your prerogative. Or you can walk away from these threads and attempt to settle in to the boards. If you have any desire whatsoever to continue posting here, I would strongly recommend the latter course of action; it holds a much greater chance of allowing you to stay, if that’s your intention.

[Exgineer]

Okay, so where did we leave off in the monkey discussion, again?

It was something about the distinction between baboons and macaques, wasn’t it?

[elf6c]

*Originally posted by Hamlet *
**Seconded!! Fantastic Book. I’d also recommend his other books, especially The Diamond Age. I loved it even better than Cryptonomicon. **

Thanks- I will pick it up then. I really love this book.

---

Oh and Reverend Mykeru- tick toc, your time is almost up. Your attempts at victimology were especially pathetic. Stick with loud-mouthed moron- its your strong suit (such as it is). Also- your insults are getting more and more pedantic. Are you down to your “C” material or is typing with only one hand taxing your brain?

[Reverend_Mykeru]

Sauron

You can continue to poke at the people who’ve poked you. Your prerogative. Or you can walk away from these threads and attempt to settle in to the boards. If you have any desire whatsoever to continue posting here, I would strongly recommend the latter course of action; it holds a much greater chance of allowing you to stay, if that’s your intention.

Well, take this as an example:

Munch says:

Munch:
Holy crap. Just to clarify, the bolded line (#2) is what I was referring to (I admit to #1 and #3, as they are true). And as you seem to completely disregard posts that destroy your argument, I’ll refer you to where I mention that 98% of your posts were in the Pit (for the mathmatically-challenged, that leaves 2% outside of the Pit).

Really, try to keep up.

In other words, in one post Munch contradicts himself, saying at one point that I spend 98% of my time in the pit, and then a couple sentences later says “due to his insistence on being nowhere but the Pit”. And then of course, although he first said the whole thing I said was untrue, in fact 2 out of three of it was true and the third was just due to me picking the wrong thing when he contradicted himself.

But if I point this out, that the last comment he made was that I am “nowhere but the pit”, it’s my bad. I’m not “keeping up”.

Forget the fact that the pit is where the inital attack on me started and where posters are still lining up to take a shot.

In other words: Roll over.

Let’s not even forget the fact that in one thread when I tried to leave as the flamage started I was clustered with the usual bunch of calm, reasonable SD regulars accusing me of cowardice and claiming victory by default.

Can’t have it both ways.

Really, what it comes down to is that there would have been no trouble at all if some Dopers had run off another newbie with an uncoordinated yet viscious attack. The fact that I fight back seems to enrage some of the people out for easy pickings.

There’s a problem here, and it really isn’t mine. Although we have people claiming that this is the “best board on the net” (according to what standard, I don’t know) this poster feeding frenzy with is not only condoned, but also encouraged by moderators, some of which, like UncleBeer, actively take part, is natural to a forum life cycle, specifically one on the decline.

Should I leave, get banned, or whatever, guess what: You’ve still got the same problem. Just the cast of targets change.

[Munch]

When I was a wee tot, I had this toy that geared towards motor skills and shape manipulation. It was a soccer ball sized 20-sided “ball” with 20 differently shaped objects that you were supposed to fit into the 20 differently shaped slots on the ball. When you got them all in, there were handles on the side to pull it apart, and start all over.

One day a friend came over, and tried to fit the round piece into the round slot. Only he was trying to push the piece in sideways. Broke the damn thing to pieces.

[Coldfire]

*Originally posted by Reverend Mykeru *
The fact that I fight back seems to enrage some of the people out for easy pickings.

No, the fact that you’re a hostile asshole enrages people, Mykeru. As stated numerous times by various people, you haven’t made the slightest effort to peruse the variety this board has to offer. You came to pick fights.

The Pit has a valid raison d’etre. It is to blow off steam - to vent about everday frustrations, or even to call out another poster who pissed you off. It is not a forum that should be seen as the SDMB equivalent of a domicile. Some people prefer Great Debates, and stay there. Some like General Questions, and hang out there. As long as they’re helping in the good fight against ignorance, either forum they prefer is fine.

Unless they only hang out in the Pit picking fights, in which case the impression might arise that they’re not here for the right reasons.

I also like the suggestion that we’re “on the decline”, in terms of our life cycle. I’ll be sure to mention it to the tech guys trying to keep the server from exploding.

Thanks for calling. Buh-bye.

[Skywatcher]

Again with the “I know you are but what am I?”

*Originally posted by Reverend Mykeru *
**Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you spin so much I’m surprised one of your fillings don’t fly out.

Long and short of it: You ended up on a web site that you denied was mine. **

In case you didn’t notice, and as evidenced by your posts you didn’t, I didn’t deny anything. Yes, I raised the possibility but that was an extension of pun’s post, which you ignored. I raised the possibility again in my third post and that was it. The only one who continued to insist that your site could not possibly be yours was yourself! I don’t know why I bother, you’ll probably just ignore that again like you did back on page 2 of this thread.

All this going in circles is making me nauseated.

[Reverend_Mykeru]

kabbes

Even ignoring the bolded part, I note that that was then and this is now:
quote:

By Diane:
Goodnight Gracie.

Yes, after I ended a post with “Say goodnight Gracie”.

Don’t get the reference? Burns and Allen? No?

And then finally:
quote:

Poor persecuted wretch, apparently not even realising that his final guardian angel had deserted him:

Good night Mrs. Kalabash, where ever you are.

Yes, a Jimmy Durante line. I must say the interpretations you make and the confidence you derive from sheer ignorance is truly inspiring.

I could have closed with Groucho Marx’s Hurray For Captain Spaulding song from The Coconuts: “I’d like to stay, but I must say…I really must be going”.

What you would extract from that would be similarly entertaining.

Revisionist? Toi?

Nah, after your performance above I realize you must just be stupid. Or twelve years old. Or deprived of oxygen for more than five minutes.

And the final nail in the coffin of someone who is well and truly beaten:
quote:

When commenting on my writing and how horrible it is, it might be a good idea to recognize the distinction between the possessive “your” and the contraction “you’re”.

Oh dear, oh dear. Seizing upon homophonic typos. And not even a consistent pattern of errors, but just one that happened to slip through the net. And not even in relation to any comment that I’d made on your grammatical ability, despite your sly attempt to insinuate such.

Actually, I consider it the first nail in the coffin of someone who presumes to lecture me on writing while making a fairly dumb grammatical mistake. And considering it takes more effort to type “you’re” instead of “your”, I wouldn’t consider it a “typo” in the sense of you hitting the wrong key. It was obviously a brain malfunction. Normally I wouldn’t bother to point this out, but since you did it in the context of deriding my writing, it was just slightly delicious.

Please protest more.

That’s just… sad.

Yes, yes it is.

You poor little prince.

Good cover. I’m fooled. Almost as good as the time the cat tried to jump to the top of the china cabinet, slid off the top, ended up behind the couch and appeared covered in dust bunnies and pretended, convincingly, that it meant to do that.

elf6c

Oh and Reverend Mykeru- tick toc, your time is almost up. Your attempts at victimology were especially pathetic. Stick with loud-mouthed moron- its your strong suit (such as it is). Also- your insults are getting more and more pedantic. Are you down to your “C” material or is typing with only one hand taxing your brain?

Wow, first makes a flushing turd analogy and now a sly insinuation of masturbation.

Gee, maybe you will sell me some of that “A” list material, especially since I don’t have time to go to the source, and I don’t know where the nearest elementary school is anyway.

[elf6c]

Meh. That’s it? I guess “C” was a bit too generous then.

:smack:

[Reverend_Mykeru]

Coldfire

quote:

Originally posted by Reverend Mykeru
The fact that I fight back seems to enrage some of the people out for easy pickings.

No, the fact that you’re a hostile asshole enrages people, Mykeru. As stated numerous times by various people, you haven’t made the slightest effort to peruse the variety this board has to offer. You came to pick fights.

No. I didn’t. What happened was newbie post an opinion. Newbie cluster attacked by board regulars who, apparently, enjoy doing this sort of thing and have a history of doing exactly that to others. Newbie attacked in a thread created by regular for the express purpose of kicking newbie. Newbie fights back. Regulars decide that anything newbie posts is an opportunity to renew attacks and general snarkiness.

Newbie warned about his antagonistic attitude. Newbie accused of picking fights.

Related story: Rape victim “asking for it” and lynched man described as “uppity”.

The Pit has a valid raison d’etre. It is to blow off steam - to vent about everday frustrations, or even to call out another poster who pissed you off. It is not a forum that should be seen as the SDMB equivalent of a domicile. Some people prefer Great Debates, and stay there. Some like General Questions, and hang out there. As long as they’re helping in the good fight against ignorance, either forum they prefer is fine.

Well, aside from the fact that I am fighting against ignorance, it just happens that the ignorant people who I am fighting against fancy themselves as fighting against ignorance, not one of the snarky regulars here gave me a godlen bridge to retreat over. In another thread I tried to leave and regular posters took that as an opportunity to slag in abstentia.

Really, the line about motes and beams in one’s eye comes to mind.

Unless they only hang out in the Pit picking fights, in which case the impression might arise that they’re not here for the right reasons.

Odd then that you have a lot of regulars hanging around the Pit picking fights. Even creating threads to attack new posters. Of course, that’s all my fault.

Related story: Plague described as “God’s justice”.

I also like the suggestion that we’re “on the decline”, in terms of our life cycle. I’ll be sure to mention it to the tech guys trying to keep the server from exploding.

The distinction between quality and quantity eludes you.

Thanks for calling. Buh-bye.

Thanks for taking part in another brave and inspirational Doper gang attack on a newbie.

Report this post to a moderator

Heh, what’s the fucking point of that?

Jeff Olsen

In case you didn’t notice, and as evidenced by your posts you didn’t, I didn’t deny anything. Yes, I raised the possibility but that was an extension of pun’s post, which you ignored. I raised the possibility again in my third post and that was it.

Zzzzz…

The only one who continued to insist that your site could not possibly be yours was yourself!

Yeah, sure. That’s exactly how it happened.

All this going in circles is making me nauseated.

Whatever Jeff. I do hope you are at least amusing yourself with this crap. Incidentally:

Public Notice:

Hereby let it be known that the poster on the Straight Dope Forums known as “Jeff Olsen” is much less intelligent than a rhesus monkey who has spent all its developmental years being tested for the effects of black tar heroin on cognitive ability

I totally stand by that.

[Coldfire]

It’s getting a bit chilly in here.

Ya think you could get off the fucking cross already so we can throw it in the fireplace?

[Skywatcher]

Yeah, right. As if I care about what your pissant self-serving website says about me.

Hey, Rev., you familar with Private Parts? There’s a scene in the movie where WNBC is trying to figure out Howard’s popularity, seems that those who hate him and those who like him listen to him for the same reason, they want to hear what he does next. Except the ones who hate him listen longer than those who like him. This is why I compared you to How-weird even though I haven’t really listened to him in 20 years. There’s another similarity too, I think you’re both running out of steam.

[Skywatcher]

Coldie, even if he does manage to pull himself off, that cross ain’t gonna fit. I’d be happy to chop it up. Anybody seen the axe?

[elf6c]

Pattern:

1. Act like troll.

2. Get flamed for acting like troll.

3. Continue acting like troll, but mix in lots of personal insults to those who called you out (or offered any advice). Maybe post insults to your goofy blog too.

4. Insult Mods.

5. Get Flamed even more.

6. Loudly proclaim yourself a victim. Practice plenty of revistionist history. Mix in plenty of trite insults for variety. Go for quantity over quality at all costs.

7. Repeat till Banned.

[Reverend_Mykeru]

Coldfire

Ya think you could get off the fucking cross already so we can throw it in the fireplace?

Yup, this is all a figment of my imagination, along with threads like A Plea For Tolerance and Understanding, and , as an example of business as usual Diogenes the Fucking Dickhead Asshole

Yup. You guys don’t have a problem. But it seems I have company on the cross.

You’ll just have to freeze to death.
Jeff Olsen

Yeah, right. As if I care about what your pissant self-serving website says about me.

No, of course you don’t. That’s why you keep fucking talking about it.