This is my first pit post directed at another doper. And I dedicate it to my daughter, who makes it all possible.
Rhum Runner, I’m going to assume that you either 1- have no children, or 2- have children that are not weighed down by ADD/ADHD.
Who the flaming hell do you think you are to critique my parenting? You don’t know me, you don’t know my kids. You don’t know what it’s like to deal with a 6 yo girl with ADHD.
You also apparently have no sense of humor, since my ‘drugs’ comment is the way I deal with the stresses of having to be a parent who dopes his child to enable her to function in society.
If you lived in the area, I would challenge you to come watch my kids, so I could get a nice evening out without worrying about the house getting burned down. However, like almost all of my friends, and all of my ex-wifes family, I would be willing to bet that you would only do it once.
I know the difference between a normally active 6yo, and my daughter. Obviously you don’t.
So until you actually get a clue, if you would be so kind as to shut the fuck up?
It’s not the most wonderful of thread titles but it’s interesting to me at least that the only people with an issue with it are those who don’t appear to have kids with SN. I mean, I know that they might suddenly unmask as uberparents who can deal with all sorts of stuff without even a lowly aspirin and more strength to them to be sure.
I saw it for what I think it is. Gallows humour. Some days black humour is the only thing which keeps me sane. Otherwise I’d have to sit in a corner and weep which would do no-one any good.
I also found the alcohol comparision to be stupid. The reason these kids are medicated is so that they can function academically, emotionally and socially.
What, is it to be expected that a thread about raising a child with ADHD ought to give others an excuse to be jackasses? I mean, you’d have to be friggin’ brain dead to think that Tristan was honestly bragging about how much Ritalin his daughter takes. Maybe if one stopped reading at the thread title, and ignored the whole content of the OP there would be something objectionable, but commenting frankly and with a little dark humor about dealing with raising a child with special needs is not something that should require a Pit thread.
You need a major clue Sherlock. Per IJGreive’s comment, given the not entirely clear black humor tone of your OP why are you suprised that someone thought your OP was in poor taste? RR can hold whatever opinions he wants about ADD, but the somewhat stupid bragging tone you took with the OP really opened it up for negative comments.
Parents of ADD kids may be appreciative of the humor in your point of view, but to many others making light of your kids medication level by bragging about it (even in jest) was in questionable taste and giving kids psychoactive drugs is sensitive subject anyway. Per tomndebb’s comment RR needs to be educated as to the real extent of ADD behaviors vs normal acting up, but the obnoxious tone you took with your OP is really to blame for where the train wreck portion of your thread ended up.
I have to say that I’m on Tristan’s side with this one. I understood upon reading the OP (when the thread started, not recently mind you) that he wasn’t bragging about the drugs. He was exasperated and as others mentioned, using gallows humor to cope. I don’t have kids, but the OP was plain as day to me, and the title just made light of the situation. After all, if you can’t change it, you might as well learn to cope with it.
I hope one day your daughter’s condition will improve, Tristan. Sounds like it’s just as difficult for her as for you.
So, parents of kids with special needs should only cope with it in ways that the rest of us think aren’t so damn obnoxious? The text of the OP was very clearly not about actual bragging, and Rhum Runner didn’t even respond until it had been made abundantly clear that this was the case, and continued being a jackass after several more clarifications.
No matter what Tristan said, comments such as:
are simply asinine. If Rhum Runner can’t see the difference between coping with a difficult situation using a little humor and immature braggadoccio, it’s his own damn fault, not Tristan’s.
Hi Tristan. Fancy seeing you here. I don’t have too much to add, I will stand behind my last post in your miserable little MPSIMS thread.
I would just point out that despite your repeated post-factum attempts to point out the alleged ‘obvious’ dark humor, I still don’t see it. The fact that you feel you need to continually declare that your ‘dark humor’ is a coping mechanism for your unfortunate situation looks, to me, like an awfully awkward, and ultimately unsuccessful, attempt to justify your boorish behavior in your OP and its instant follow up message.
You came off as a total ass.
Having said all that, I certainly do hope that your daughter’s condition improves, and I am sure that you believe you are doing the best that you can for her. Best of luck.
I would like to add my name to the list of those to whom the gallows humour in the thread title was obvious. I don’t have kids but I could tell as soon as I saw the title what the thread was about, and the spirit in which it was intended.
Does RR seriously believe that Tristan would choose this situation? That he feels pride when his daughter presents the behaviour that necessitates such a dose? If anyone’s being “boorish” it’s the person who is showing such insensitivity to subtle humour.
PS Tristan, I don’t mean to imply that you’re not proud of you’re daughter; I was responding to RR’s image of you comparing your “score” with other parents.
I don’t have ADD/ADHD, nor do any of my relatives, and the intent behind the OP was quite clear to me. It’s a regrettable situation when a child has to take drugs just to function in normal situations. I didn’t think for an instant Tristan was actually bragging about his kid’s medication intake. In fact, the original thread title made me smile. Maybe I’m just an insensitive, overmedicated ass.
The only “awfully awkward, and ultimately unsuccessful” attempt to justify boorish behaviour I see here belongs to Rhum Runner.
And I’ll also add my voice to the growing ranks of those who have said that the OP in question was clear and unambiguous dark humor. In fact, I knew that it was dark humor as soon as I read the title–even before I knew the exact subject matter.
It was neither awkward, not boorish, nor unsuccessful. Quite the contrary, I found it clever and effective. Indeed, the provocative title of the thread was the sole reason I clicked on it. Had it been titled something like “My daughter sure takes a lot of Ritalin to help her focus and I’m pleased with the results,” I wouldn’t have given it a second look.
Thanks for your thread, Tristan. As a professional who works with children with ADHD, it’s always good for me to hear parents’ side of things.
This
on the other hand, is about the most condescending thing I’ve seen in a long time.