Ridiculously Unfortunate Coincidences...

… aka “Sometimes the Universe is really trying to make you look like complete tool”.

First, I must point out that since I have a very small social circle, I rarely get phone calls. A couple per week is plenty. This is important.

So, there’s a coworker I’ve grown very fond of in the past few months. Since we met I’ve always done my best to be nice, witty, helpful and, well, appear basically coherent and functional in her presence. Was that asking too much ? I guess so.

On Tuesday, we had lunch together, along with 4 or 5 other coworkers. At one point a mobile phone started ringing. It was loud. It was vulgar. It was in my pocket. Now, that was weird because that most certainly wasn’t my ringtone. Still, there was no denying that this horrendous racket originated from my phone. My coworker had a look on her face that was half-incredulity, half-derision as she asked “Is… is that your phone ?”. I excused myself and left the room. Turns out it was one of these “Hi LEDS, we have a great offer for you !” BS which I hadn’t been the target of in months". Funny. Looking at my phone after I hung up, I realized that my screensaver was gone and so were the apps that I had installed. I figured that it had somehow done a reset and, of course, rang at the very moment I was with her :smack: . That was troubling especially since I’ve had it for over a year and it had never acted up before :mad: .

I reset my desired ringtone and screensaver as I re-entered the room, mortified and mumbling “Hmm, my kids must have been fooling around with my phone”.

Earlier today, I went to the building where she works to put my cups in the dishwasher. The room where the dishwasher is located is right next to her office. Due to the way her desk is positioned, she couldn’t see who had entered the kitchen. But, since her office door was opened, she definitely heard that someone was there. And guess what happened ? Yes, my phone started ringing. And it was that cursed ringtone again :smack: :smack: . All in all, I stayed in the kitchen only for a couple of minutes. These phone calls were also the only ones I got this week. What were the odds, really ?

I guess that, in her eyes, I’m now officially that guy who :

  • has an ugly-ass ringtone that he can’t (or doesn’t want to) change.
  • has no authority over his kids.
  • disturbed her while she was working.

Thanks Universe.

Sounds like you have a crush on this woman. Let’s hope that creepy ringtone guy has other redeeming characteristics to rise above your establishing cred.

Obviously you have an evil nemesis who is also very fond of you co-worker and has the technical savvy to remotely reset your phone. Or at least a co-conspirator they can have reset it for him.

Sometimes they are out to get you.

And here, I thought that the punchline was going to be that you’d accidentally traded phones with this lady.

Well, at least this would have been funny. A good opportunity to display my dry wit, I’m sure I’d have come up with a good one. But here I was left totally speechless by the sheer vulgarity of that ringtone from hell.

Oh yes. Yes, they are.

I don’t know. I have very nice looking elbows ?

When you say “vulgar” do you mean it in a sense that a Victorian would find it “vulgar” or do you mean some nasty-lyric rap song?

Cuz I’m kinda laughing at the thought of it being the latter :slight_smile:

It was purely instrumental, fortunately.

“Vulgar” in the sense that it was repetitive, distorted and simplistic. And LOUD.

See, I had established in our previous conversations that my thing was classical music and that I played the piano. Not boasting or trying to appear superior, just telling her honestly about myself. Then, this horrendous stuff comes blasting out of my smartphone and, well, the look of amused disbelief on her face was… painful, actually. And it happened twice in the… what… 40 minutes we spent together this week ? Sheesh.

I once stopped in at work on a Sunday to do some paperwork. I forgot to re-lock the door after entering. I barely heard the woman who walked in yelling “YooHoo!?” over the sound of Jimmy Buffett singing Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Screw? on the sound system piped through the place.

My thought exactly


The thing is, I’m pretty sure that, from the start and without trying, I had struck the right balance between being witty, fun and laid back on the one hand and respectful, reliable and helpful on the other. Based on what she said and the considerable time she spent with me alone, it seemed that she really liked me, perhaps not in that way, but it was very clear that she enjoyed my company. We just immediately and naturally hit it off.

Her attitude towards me has changed this week for some reason that I can’t quite fathom, but I’ll leave it to another thread if necessary. Let’s just say that the incidents described above, while funny in a way (even I recognize that) were just the vomit icing on the shit cake that the past few days have been in our relationship.

Enough about me. Any other ridiculously unfortunate coincidences you’d like to share ?

Until you identified it as an instrumental, I was imagining it could have possibly been Archer the secret agent’s ringtone, “Mulatto Butts.” I’d be horrified if my phone randomly started playing that in mixed company, especially those that don’t watch adult cartoons and wouldn’t get the reference.

I usually keep my phone on vibrate. At home, however, where it might just be sitting on the counter all night, I will turn the volume up full blast. For my notification ringtone, I have a rather realistic sounding, three-second long fart. My kids (11 and 9) think it's hilarious. Some of the best times of when I've forgotten to turn it back to vibrate include in the salesman's office of a new car dealership and standing in line at the bank.

I had that screaming goat that went viral for a while, but it was too alarming.

Having your ringtone set to default just doesn’t seem to rise to the level of ridiculously unfortunate. Maybe if it turned out to be the tune that was playing on the radio while she watched her dog kill her father, that might count…

I don’t get it, how can somebody else change the ringtone on your phone?

It’s a phenomenon called DCIBYF.
Dad Can I Borrow Your Phone. :slight_smile:

Tell her it’s not the phone’s fault, she makes it ring like that.

Put your ringer on vibrate.

Thanks, I reread the op, the kids messed with his phone TWICE?

OP, if she’s that shallow that she judges people by their ringtones, she’s not worth it. She needs to lighten up.

I guess these fall within the realm of coincidence:

On Thursday the detailer guy at the car wash knocked my rearview mirror completely off. I glued the mount plate back on yesterday and let it dry overnight.

Today I was wrangling the mirror post back on (a real bitch to do) and moved the driver seat back to get more room/leverage. The seat cable twisted and a lever button snapped off (I did get the mirror on).*

I then went for a drive, stopped for a soda, cleaned some leaf gunk from under a windshield wiper and the arm retention lock thingy snapped off. So, blade can’t be retained.

And of course it started to rain when I was a few miles from home. And of course the sunroof wouldn’t close all the way.**

Then the odometer display pixels totally bit the dust on the way home. It was at 149,993 and I was excited to celebrate her 150k with a photo remembrance.***

To top the cake, the SES light came on when I pulled into the driveway.****

This car is lucky it runs like a magnificent beast.

Footnotes for fellow Bimmerians:

*The infamous E39 seat twist. The passenger seat has been jacked for several years. It’s time to pull these suckers out and screw with the motor cables.

**Happens occasionally. The “fix” is to park the car, open the roof all the way, bring it closed halfway, open all the way again, then it will close correctly. Yeah . . . not a clue why.

***Happened right on schedule! Other displays are on the way out, getting time to send unit for repair.

***** Car absolutely refuses to believe she has new oxy sensors (plug in OBD reader, delete code, fixed!)

The unfortunate coincidence is that I went for a drive to specifically hit 150k and take a pic. When I bought the car with 122k she was critically ill, 150k was a major achievement. :mad:

I agree.

It’s the fact that it happened twice, without explanation, in her presence (and never when she wasn’t near) on the same week, which also happened to be an extrememly bad week for us, that makes it rise to that level in my view.

Again, I agree with that.

But she’s far from shallow. Quite the opposite actually, she’s one of the smartest, most well-informed persons I’ve met. But for some reason, her attitude towards me has changed completely this week and these stupid events didn’t help my case.