Rites of Passage: My son has his first hangover

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m trying very hard to sympathize, really. It’s just that I was raised by a passel of Methodists and Baptists, and alcohol has literally never touched my lips, we were that ferociously Temperance.

But my daughter married a guy whose family has normal American drinking habits, in that they enjoy wine and beer, and an occasional nip of something stronger, and of course the young men in the family have a tradition of taking the newly formed 21-year-olds in the family out for a ceremonial pub crawl on their birthday.

And thus it was with Bonzo, yesterday on his 21st birthday. His BIL and about a dozen other guys all piled into a van driven by Designated Driver BIL’s Brother (“The Responsible One”, a.k.a. Mr. Anal) and spent until the wee hours cruising Decatur’s college-boy bar scene.

So he came down this morning about 10 a.m. looking very flushed and puffy, and distinctly unwell. He’s pre-pharmacy at the U of I, so he informed me about all the ketones his liver was processing, et cetera, et cetera, whilst rummaging in the cabinets for soup. “I’m sick, I need soup…”

I told him, trying not to sound sanctimonious, because he’s my son and I do love him, :smiley: “Um, a hangover does not count as being ‘sick’.” And he was like, Yeah, I know.

I said, How did it go last night? because I was curious how he responded to the implicit masculine challenge of “drink till you puke”. He said a little ruefully, “Well, the first four hours were great, the last half hour wasn’t so great.” They pub-crawled, and then went back to somebody’s house, where he puked, and then passed out on the couch for a couple of hours, and when he came around, they all wanted to go to Perkins Restaurant, which is the 24-hour “drunken college-boy wee hours munchies” destination, but he didn’t feel up to it, he just wanted to come home.

So he came home. He’s sitting on the couch, eating soup and watching Beowulf the Director’s Cut. I think he feels like “been there, done that”, and is a little relieved to have it over with.

2

First, as someone who is happily, aggressively, and militantly non-“temperance,” I can tell you that being sanctimonious never works, and you were wise to not go that route.

Second, pretty much everyone does this. You don’t become a good carpenter until you’ve banged your thumb with a hammer once or twice, and it sounds like he’s got the requisite amount of respect for the power of alcohol.

Third (and here is where my Bronx-Irish assholishness kicks in): there’s nothing better for a hangover than a quick 5k with Mom (Dad?). Haul him off the couch and get crackin’. If he pukes within the first 2k, the last 3 will get progressively better and, after some 3:1 Gatorade:water mix and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, he’ll be ready to get back on his horse and go out tonight. I’m telling you- this works. Not only is it a great cure for him, it’s entertainment for you. In keeping with #1 above, don’t be all, “See what drinking gets you?” That’s lame and too easy. Be cheery the whole time, with the “Come on! 2.5k to go! You gotta shake that shit off, kid!”

You’ll thank me. :smiley:

(Hey, you gotta back-to-back it on Friday/Saturday when you’re that age. At 33, a more-than-moderate Friday night out has me hurting on Sunday.)

3

Heh. I’d be real tempted to invite the local marching band over to practice. I’m mean like that. :smiley:
(In reality, I’d offer him the suggestion of some tomato soup and grilled cheese. Always worked for me.)

4

I’ll tell you right now, if my parents had done that to me after my first hangover, patricide would have ensued.

Seriously, most of us go through it once. Okay, more than once. But you live and learn. I’ve managed to become a respectable member of society despite the first semester of my freshman year, which I basically spent in two states - drunk or hungover.

5

I’m damn surprised it took him until he was 21 to have a hangover. I don’t think I know anyone who waited until 21 to drink like that.

6

I didn’t have my first hangover until 26 - which was after my third total drunk. My first two also occurred when I was 26. I just didn’t have any interest in alcohol when I was younger, mostly because it tasted nasty and my friends in HS and college didn’t drink for fun.

My hangover was also fairly minor, so who knows? I know there are people on this board who say they got utterly, mind-bendingly drunk all the time in their twenties, and didn’t discover hangovers until much later in life.

7

I’d certainly drunk before then, but I didn’t get all stumbling/passing-out/hangover from hell drunk until I was 20. And promptly decided that would be the last time, as well (so far stuck to!).

8

I didn’t have a hangover until I was 40, and then only the mildest of hangovers. And I’m not abstemious. I’ve never puked from alcohol either. And while I’ve most certainly been affected by alcohol, I don’t think I’ve ever been what most people would call drunk either - certainly I’ve never been as drunk as that.

9

Yeah, I “get” that this is something that kids just have to go through, the same way they all went through their various other stages and phases and life experiences. The first car wreck, the first serious boyfriend, etc. And I was quite careful not to seem preachy or sanctimonious, except for mildly pointing out that a hangover doesn’t count as being “sick”.

Knowing that this party was in the offiing, I asked him Friday morning when I picked him up for the weekend if he’d ever been puking drunk before. And he said no, he’d had “some” to drink in the past (he did not elaborate, and I did not press the issue), but he’d never been puking drunk, and he added rather fervently that he’d certainly seen his share of contemporaries who were puking drunk, and that he had no intention of going that route during his birthday bash.

So I guess he learned something else, too, about expectations, and how things don’t always go the way you think they will.

10

I dunno, I’ve been 21 for eight months, did not get wasted on my birthday, just enjoyed my finally legal beers in a bar, and have not had a hangover since I have been 21. My friends and I go to bars or casinos pretty much every weekend. I drank to excess when I was younger and more stupid. Maybe I stared drinking earlier and got all/most the stupid out of the way? I was fifteen when I first got drunk, sixteen when I got puke drunk. I’ve been puke drunk maybe 6 times, and hated it more each time. My brother was 13 when he first came home puke drunk (oh yes he got in trouble) and he pretty much got bored with drinking by the time he was 21, he rarely does.

But I guess it also depends on the definition of hangover - nausea? headache - how severe? just tired/blah? I can go out have 2 beers and have a touch of a headache in the morning, even though 2 beers doesn’t make me feel even buzzed. I can have 8 beers and remember to drink my water before bed, and feel fine the next day. And everyone is different.

11

Hangover doesn’t count as being sick? Hell’s bells, you clearly didn’t see me after a beer, a gin and tonic, four shots of vodka and some scotch. Foshizzle, it counts for being sick.

Also, I think a 5K is a bad idea if only because exercising post dehydration is bad.

12

:dubious:

13

I had my first hangover at 29. And I hadn’t gotten puking drunk, though I did puke in the morning. I’ve only had a couple of hangovers total, and frankly I am not eager to repeat the experience.

“First car wreck?” I’ve been in one extremely minor accident, nothing I’d call a wreck. That’s one experience I would just as soon miss out on. I wouldn’t call it a milestone!

I hope he feels better soon. I know when I’m hungover I’m too queasy to eat anything in the morning, though once I puke I do feel better.

14

OMG, I remember my first. I’m lucky I lived through it. I was hung over for two days. It should have kept me from ever drinking again.

As it is, I hate hard liquor. (Probably a good thing.)

15

As I don’t see this ‘cure’ I’ll mention it. First, you’d have to know what he was drinking. Second, you’d need a bottle of it. Third, you need a bucket that you don’t mind throwing away later.

Approach the drunk from behind with a coffee cup with about 1/4 to 1/3 filled with the alcohol from the night before.

Waive it under his nose.

Slide the bucket under where he tilts his head as he starts to wretch.

Start your speeches as the gag reflex ensures you have a ‘captive audience’.

“Wow, isn’t drinking glamorous…?” is a good one to start with.

Thanks, Mom & Dad…

16

I’ve been everything from moderately tipsy to really, shit-facedly, falling-down drunk on a few occasions, and I’ve never had a single hangover. It’s a shame that I don’t like alcohol more. As it stands, I only take advantage of this seeming superpower a few times a year.

17

I’ve been known to imbibe upon occasion but I try not to get stupid drunk. A happy buzz is all I really want nowadays. The times i have gotten drunk I wake up the next morning at a friends’ house and I always regretted it.

18

I had my first hangover at 20 and, predictably, swore never to drink again. That lasted about a week.

19

One of my uncles (can’t remember which one) got drunk in high school. My grandfather said nothing, but made him go to hockey practice. Spoke a few words to the coach, and then sat back to watch practice. Which became a beloved family story for years.

One or the other of my uncles is a recovering alcoholic, so I’m not sure it was effective discouragement. But it did make for a good story.

20

Gee, when was the last time I had a hangover? I seem to recall it was in Vegas. Probably the Hilton, or maybe the SunCoast.