Rites of Passage

Tomorrow my son turns thirteen. Mrs. Prefect and I have been threatening him with the promise that he would have to perform some sort of ritual/rite of passage as he turns into a full fledged teenager. But for the life of us we cannot come up with anything good, or anything at all for that matter.

So, on the eve of this momentous, for him and for us, occasion I look to the Dopers to help me out. Nothing too outrageous. It can even be a little whimsical.

Weird, it submitted before I was done… Ahh, I must have hit the tab and then enter, that will recreate the submit not on demand action…

Anyway, the reason I am looking for help is that I cannot allow my son to turn thirteen with an empty threat over his head :slight_smile: He would never let me forget that.

So any and all rites/rituals for the child turning into a teen please.

Buy him some beer and cigs. At least that was what I was doing at 13. As for some other rites with less health impact:

  1. Teach him how to drive. Take him out to an empty parking lot or back road and let him have a stab at being behind the wheel.

  2. If he has never shot a gun, take him to a shooting range.

  3. Buy him a porno mag and teach the boy some anatomy of the female form.

Make him go camping alone. It might scare the shit out of him but he’ll feel bad ass for making it in the woods all night by himself.

Buy him some peyotes and magic mushrooms and book him a nice cave for the weekend. :wink:

Make him sit and watch Rocky Horror with you. :slight_smile:

My parents didn’t do that, but my friends and their older sibs did do it to me when I turned 13. It was like I was finally old enough to understand what was going on in the movie.

MetalMaven

These are all good ideas. Your wife might not like them, but good ideas nonetheless.:smiley:

Start the lawnmower on the first try?
Small scavenger hunt around the neighborhood?

Have him help change the oil on the car, followed by a (small) glass of cold beer and a chicken-fried steak (I used to call this ‘man food’ and my boys loved it).

Eat a brownie.

Oh, wait, that’s how a Cub Scout becomes a Boy Scout.

Nevermind. I have no ideas.

ROTFLMFAO – that was too funny.

Apparently, from the suggestions given, my son is well on his way. Apart from the oil change (I don’t do that myself anyway), cigarettes, drugs and porno, my son does/has done much of this stuff before: He knows how to drive, he has shot a gun, had brownies, takes a little wine with our pre-meal toast, and mows the lawn.

Thanks for the suggestions, in the end we did nothing, slackers that we are. It was fun scaring him for a few months with tales of primitive rites of passage :slight_smile:

Ah, he’s already a Boy Scout…

Is he circumsized?

:smiley:

:eek:

No fooling. When my mom’s second husband (from Iran) turned 11 they threw a party and did it to him. He claims he had no idea until he saw the guy with the knife.

I mean…godDAMN!

:eek: wow… just … um… WOW…

“Surprise!”, indeed.