RO: Somebody sends letter to neighbours telling them to kill their son

[Shodan]

@nearwildheaven

There were other people with disabled children (not necessarily autism) who got this too. Some of them had never met until this story broke.

Thanks.

Regards,
Shodan

[Anaamika]

There is a difference between saying

“Often mothers of disabled children don’t realize how they come across to strangers, frightening or annoying, and love their children very much, so and possibly are at a loss to discipline them,”

and

“Absolutely the letter writer was right! All disabled children should die!”

[GrandWino]

I live in a lovely neighborhood in a very liberal town. Our next door neighbors, a gay male couple with two young foster children, moved in a year or two ago and have recieved threatening hate mail from somebody fairly regularly. Not sure if they’ve been able to put a stop to it yet or not. Point is, people be crazy and this could be quite real.

[Reverse]

“Nobody wants you living here and they don’t have the guts to tell you”, wrote the author of the anonymous letter.

[C3]

@Reverse

“Nobody wants you living here and they don’t have the guts to tell you”, wrote the author of the anonymous letter.

During the course of my job, I often get homeowner complaints about other neighbors or things going on in the community. Without fail, they say something along those lines - everyone else is just as pissed about this as I am, but they’re too scared/busy/lazy to say anything about it, so I’m going to be the courageous person to speak the hard truth. I’m not sure if they say that just to bolster their argument or if they actually believe that to be true. That statement in the letter is the number one thing that convinces me this is genuine.

[Little_Nemo]

@brazil84

“Overreaction” = reacting or responding more strongly than is necessary or appropriate. So I am not sure how you can deny that the letter is an overreaction.

I think the problem is the rest of us find overreaction to be too mild a term for what was done.

If my wife was nagging me and I yelled at her “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” then I overreacted. But if my wife was nagging me and I stabbed her to death, I’ve gone beyond mere overreaction.

[brazil84]

@Little_Nemo

I think the problem is the rest of us find overreaction to be too mild a term for what was done.

If my wife was nagging me and I yelled at her “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” then I overreacted. But if my wife was nagging me and I stabbed her to death, I’ve gone beyond mere overreaction.

Well it seems it’s a matter of semantics then. Feel free to call it an “extreme overreaction.”

[Shodan]

@C3

During the course of my job, I often get homeowner complaints about other neighbors or things going on in the community. Without fail, they say something along those lines - everyone else is just as pissed about this as I am, but they’re too scared/busy/lazy to say anything about it, so I’m going to be the courageous person to speak the hard truth.

Do you ever get justified homeowner complaints, where everyone else is genuinely pissed but only one complains?

I am not saying it justifies a letter like this, which at least so far could have come from a particularly nasty neighborhood crank, but I can see a situation where [ul][li]A kid with a particularly severe case of autism is entering adolesence, and is perceived as becoming disruptive and out of control []said kid has very little sense of boundaries []mom is in a wheelchair and can’t/won’t do much about it [*]neighborhood crackpot grossly over-reacts to something that is genuinely irritating to the rest of the neighbors.[/ul]Like I say, that doesn’t justify the letter, if it’s genuine.[/li]
Regards,
Shodan

[marshmallow]

This is where the decline in investigative journalism hits us hard. We need a recorded sampling of this kid’s noises to determine whether he deserves to be euthanized. Otherwise all we have is is the say so of an anonymous letter.

@PunditLisa

My first impression was that it was a fake.

…

Man, when did I get so cynical?

Believing it’s fake strikes me as the less cynical option since you’re saying you don’t believe one out of however many hundreds of people aren’t hateful enough to pen an anonymous eugenics letter.

[C3]

@Shodan

Do you ever get justified homeowner complaints, where everyone else is genuinely pissed but only one complains?

Yes, sometimes the complaints are justified. I was just addressing the doubts about the letter being genuine. I think it’s real, and agree that even if the kid is a nuisance, this kind of letter is a pretty disgusting way of addressing the situation.

[Spice_Weasel]

@brazil84

If somebody misbehaves under provocation of having been mistreated, they are not as worthy of condemnation of someone who engages in the same misbehavior with no provocation at all. Similarly, if somebody provokes misbehavior against them through inconsiderate behavior, they do not deserve as much sympathy as if they had not been inconsiderate.

I take it you disagree with these principles?

Vehemently. This attitude of justified retaliation is the reason this whole world is fucked up. Studies on kids with aggressive and violent behavior point to this notion that if someone does something wrong to you, it’s somehow less bad to do something even more wrong in return. It’s a belief held by school shooters, people who royally fuck up their marriages, and assholes who lose their shit on the freeway.

[Hentor_the_Barbarian]

I’d be a bit pissed off too if all my punctuation keys were busted, except for one fucked up exclamation point key that was stuck and therefore was incapable of generating fewer than five exclamation points.

[brazil84]

@Spice_Weasel

This attitude of justified retaliation is the reason this whole world is fucked up.

Just so we are clear, you would have the EXACT same amount of sympathy for (1) a completely innocent jogger who was jumped from out of nowhere and had his arm broken by a thug; and (2) the same jogger except that just for kicks he had thrown a water-balloon at the thug and had his arm broken in retaliation?

Similarly, you would have the EXACT same amount of condemnation for (1) a thug who jumped a jogger from out of nowhere and broke his arm just for kicks; and (2) a thug who did the same thing but only because the jogger had thrown a water balloon at him just for kicks.

Studies on kids with aggressive and violent behavior point to this notion that if someone does something wrong to you, it’s somehow less bad to do something even more wrong in return.

Less bad than if the first wrong had never happened?

[Shodan]

@Spice_Weasel

Vehemently. This attitude of justified retaliation is the reason this whole world is fucked up. Studies on kids with aggressive and violent behavior point to this notion that if someone does something wrong to you, it’s somehow less bad to do something even more wrong in return.

Who said anything about retaliation?

Regards,
Shodan

[Little_Nemo]

@marshmallow

This is where the decline in investigative journalism hits us hard. We need a recorded sampling of this kid’s noises to determine whether he deserves to be euthanized.

Are you pitching a reality show?

[happycamper_5]

@nearwildheaven

There were other people with disabled children (not necessarily autism) who got this too. Some of them had never met until this story broke.

@Shodan

Thanks.

Regards,
Shodan

While that may be true, the Canadian news agencies aren’t reporting multiple incidents. The original letter was not a flyer, but was mailed to the grandmother’s home, according to City News.

[baileygrrrl]

@nearwildheaven

One of the people who got this letter posts on another board, which is actually where I found out about it. :eek: Her brother is high functioning enough to go to regular school, but he does like to ride his bike around the neighborhood and yell “EEEEEE!!!” while doing it. I think it’s his method of stimming.

That’s right, “one of the people”. It’s gone out to multiple families in the neighborhood. :mad:

This doesn’t really make sense. The letter seems too specific to be sent out to several different families that may have disabled children.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Shodan

Who said anything about retaliation?

Regards,
Shodan

Brazil84’s argument is that if the letter was sent as an act of retaliation for inconsiderate behavior, it’s less bad. I disagree. So, the answer to your question is brazil84 said something about retaliation.

[QUOTE=brazil84]
Just so we are clear, you would have the EXACT same amount of sympathy for (1) a completely innocent jogger who was jumped from out of nowhere and had his arm broken by a thug; and (2) the same jogger except that just for kicks he had thrown a water-balloon at the thug and had his arm broken in retaliation?

Similarly, you would have the EXACT same amount of condemnation for (1) a thug who jumped a jogger from out of nowhere and broke his arm just for kicks; and (2) a thug who did the same thing but only because the jogger had thrown a water balloon at him just for kicks.
[/QUOTE]

Of course. The jogger isn’t suffering any less and thug isn’t any less responsible for his actions. Retaliatory behavior is not okay. Or less bad, or whatever.

[Musicat]

Regarding the possibility of the letter being a hoax, I am reminded of Munchausen By Proxy.

[Shodan]

@Spice_Weasel

Brazil84’s argument is that if the letter was sent as an act of retaliation for inconsiderate behavior, it’s less bad. I disagree. So, the answer to your question is brazil84 said something about retaliation.

Actually he was talking about sympathy for one side and condemnation for the other. No mention of retaliating at all.

And I suspect most people would disagree with you that someone who starts a fight and loses it, is just as deserving of sympathy as someone who did nothing whatever to start a fight. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they are worse than just one wrong. YMMV.

Regards,
Shodan