Robot Wars--Bender vs A Cylon vs the LIS Robot

Which Robotic Engine Of Destruction shall prevail in this,
The Tussle Of Titans?

For info on our warriors, click the links in their names below.

From the original TV show, Lost In SpaceRobot. Experienced at fighting rubber monsters, he can shoot lightning bolts from his claws. Strong, but with limited dexterity, his mobility is restricted by treads instead of legs. He lacks a truly agressive nature, & prefers to fight on the defensive. Moderate armor. He has sensor gear.

From Futurama, we have Bender. While possessing no special weapons, he has great strength, is mobile (quite fast on his feet, really), & is very experienced in Unlimited Robot Wrestling. Great manual dexterity. He is vicious, & his anti-social nature & vivid imagination gives him a dangerous & unpredictable edge. His weaknesses-- a lack of true armor, a lightweight metal hull, & a sensitivity to magnetic fields (which make him sing folksongs). He may carry weapons/devices in his internal compartment. He has a burgular’s skills, including stealth, & can pick pockets.

From the Original 70’s Battlestar: Galactica , a Cylon Centurion. Dumb as a rock, lacking in intiative, he is heavily armed with a laser rifle & sword. Heavily armored, he is not much stronger than a weightlifter. Sensors are poor, has no imagination. Slow, but mobile over all terrain.

We turn these three mechanical warriors loose on the streets of Mayberry to fight it out, to the Death! Unfortunately, we have failed to evacuate the town first, & Sheriff Taylor & Deputy Fife are the first to die in the crossfire, as Barney accidently shoots Andy, then self.

Who wins?

Bender. He’d hide out until the other two are damaged, then challenge the winner to a drinking contest. Game over.

Bender actually has some armour. Remember that he is 30% titanium. Plus neither of the other robots are going to be as much fun at the pre-fight weigh-in and press conference.

The other robots would be “pending para un bending”.

Don’t forget the efects of the terrain/environment on the fight.

Mayberry.

Floyd the barber’s babbling may confuse the hell outta 2 of the, but the Cylon won’t notice it.

Anybody who goes into the mechanic’s garage will be “fixed” by Gomer & Goober.

All will be pelted with bricks by Ernest T. Bass.

And there’s a goat full of dynamite wandering around!

Bender would steal the LIS’s claws and the Cylon’s sword and laser pistol the night before. Then he would bet heavily on himself in the match and win easily.

Did we learn nothing from “Fear of a Bot Planet”?

Bender would convince the Cylon and LIS Robot to join forces with him, kill all humans, then retire to Chapek 9 to enjoy lug nuts and robot pornography

Bender got beat up by a can opener.
Can’t agree.

…plus, Bender has the “door thing” advantage

Bender would win, if he had enough mental faculties to prepare.

I think you mean, Bender would bet heavily against himself, then take a dive.

Bender vs. Otis the drunk, anyone?

Perhaps if someone told Bender to do it for the Senoritas…

But most likely, since he knew he didn’t want to go near the can opener and has not the least bit of interest in obeying humans or getting himself hurt, he’d either fix the fight or cheat.

40% zinc, 40% titanium, 30% iron, 40% Dolemite, and a .04% nickel impurity.

Actually, I think RealityChuck has it right. Bender would let the other two duke it out, while making money betting against them, then swoop in and beat them down, either with a martini drinking contest (assuming they had enough olives) or by bending the opponent up if he was sufficiently weakened.

Now what if we threw C-3P0 into the mix? I’d do that just for a laugh.

The Batman robot, if he’s prepared.