I got one of those bottle cutters as a lad. I still bears the scars (literally) from the experience.
“Every time you think, you weaken the nation!” --M. Howard (addressing his brother, C. Howard).
My favorite, though, was the Dice-O-Matic!
SLICES! DICES! JULIENNE FRIES!!!
AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, YOU’LL GET, ABSOLUTELY FREE, THIS WHATS-IT!! That’s right, absolutely free!
It’s the Bass-O-Matic!
Now that’s great Bass!
I have watched this 100 times and I still don’t see where he switches the blender. It really looks like he is drinking the bass.
Did anyone here ever buy the inside-the-egg scrambler? The ads were hilarious. They showed these half-raw, under-cooked scrambled eggs, and blamed it on them not being mixed well enough. :rolleyes: I thought it would be cool to scramble the eggs, then hard-boil them. Not cool enough to buy one, however.
It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.
Don’t answer yet!
It also comes with this amazing seventeen-piece cutlery set!
NOW how much would you pay?
Anybody remember “Mr. Microphone”? (from Ronco, I think.)
“Hey, good-lookin’, we’ll be back to pick you up later!”
Hey, what was the name of that rhinestone-attacher thingy they used to sell?
TURN THIS JACKET INTO A WORK OF ART!
Ok. The worst one I remember was the “Ronco Spray-On Hair”. Yes! I’m not kidding. This was a product that came in a spray can. You sprayed it on your head, and PRESTO! All your bald spots would be filled in with this thick hair-liek substance. As I remember, this was a hair THICKENER and it only lasted like 8 hrs or so. I believe that it was advertised that it would be gone when you woke up in the morning and there would be just a little powder residue on your pillow.
What a crock! Why would I want hair that only lasts 8 hrs that I had to spray on?
-Dragwyr
“If God had meant for man to eat waffles,
he would have given him lips like snowshoes”
-Rev. Billy C. Wirtz
…and what about the “Flo-Bee”? Anyone remember that?
-Dragwyr
“If God had meant for man to eat waffles,
he would have given him lips like snowshoes”
-Rev. Billy C. Wirtz
Mr. Zambezi? From what I am told, he drank the bass. Such is live TV. There was no switch. Few suffer mightily, so that many may roll in mirth.
Cartooniverse
If you want to kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel.
According to Matt Groening’s new TV show Futurama, Mr. Popeil is the inventor of the technology that permits the severed heads of celebraties to live on forever in glass jars.
With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with.
GLASS CUTTER OR BOTTLE CUTTER not from RONCO.
I saw one in used in an institution I visited. You took a bottle and pressed it against a glass cutter affixed to the frame and rotated the bottle to get a scribed line. Then, the bottle was taken to another frame and one end of a wire pulled over it firmly. (The wire went about 3/4 of the way around, never over lapping.) The starting end of the wire was connected to a big lantern battery and the free end, held in an insulated clip, was fixed to a contact and the wire heated up. The hot wire CRACKED the glass in the scribed mark and one rotated the bottle slowly, allowing the crack to travel completely around the bottle. Then, the wire was removed and the tip popped tight off!
Safe and cool and quick! It was home made. The rim of the bottle was sanded smooth with sandpaper or carefully fused with a blow torch.
RONCO is the king of cheap, the master of over pricing and the duke of useless time saving inventions. He used to advertise a food dehydrator at something like $60, and I was interested because I used a different dehydrator and he seemed to be able to make all sorts of great stuff with his. Mine cost $25. Well, he came up with one even better later which used a small fan to blow the warm air through the thing from the convection coil and jacked it up to $100.
A few years later, his original dehydrator, costing $69.95 showed up at Walmart or Kmart for $20. ALL of his stuff eventually shows up at dirt cheap prices a couple of years down the line in such stores.
I know we have free enterprise but I do get burned up when people like him show up, deliberately screwing the general public for all he can get. Some friends of mine bought those Ginsu knives and found them made of thin, bendable metal and they were not worth a crap. Sure they would cut well, but you could not resharpen them. The same with those ‘laser knives’ that came out. They have this curious, vertical ‘saw toothed’ blade and when new are GREAT, but after a bit they get dull and cutting a tender steak clogs up the teeth. They cannot be resharpened because in doing so, you grind the teeth off.
On his new venture, RONCO shows that rotisserie cooker and the top mounted vegetable steamer and I caught on to that in a hurry. No doubt after he built the thing, he discovered that the top got too hot for safety so he decided to toss in a heat resistant plastic container and claim the top is a steamer. Cheaper than having to insulate the top.
I hate all of those ads where they have the fast, smooth talking ‘huckster,’ usually shouting in barely contained glee about the product while his dippy, over eager female assistant follows him around just astonished at how EASY and SAFE the product is. A lady, who called into a local talk show, works in such advertisement and she said that she just does as she is told to do, regardless of what she thinks of the product.
We really need tighter truth in advertisement laws. I mean, if a business produces a safe, reliable product, then they should have nothing to hide, but if the try to sell a cheap, unreliable one, then we should know about it.
THAT ought to shake up the car industry.
I have a Flow Bee. It’s great. The only problem is my hair is too long for it, and my friends with shorter hair don’t trust me with it.
I always wanted one of those RonCo Pasta Makers. I’m glad to hear that they work (about time something did :)).
We have a Flowbee too, and Minxsmom is right–it’s great. I do my own hair. My wife does our kids’ hair, and her bangs.
It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.
I just checked it out. If you go to www.ronco.com, you can still get the Pocket Fisherman, The Inside the Egg Scrambler, the ever popular Door Saver, and let’s not forget the Ronco Safety Bagel Slicer!
But wait, there’s more…
You have got to check this site out, if only for the “included free” products. The Door Saver comes with patented “car stoppers”. they are tassels that you hang from the ceiling of your garage. When the tassle hits your windshield - it’s time to stop. I kid you not!
I just checked it out. If you go to www.ronco.com, you can still get the Pocket Fisherman, The Inside the Egg Scrambler, the ever popular Door Saver, and let’s not forget the Ronco Safety Bagel Slicer!
But wait, there’s more…
You have got to check this site out, if only for the “included free” products. The Door Saver comes with patented “car stoppers”. they are tassels that you hang from the ceiling of your garage. When the tassle hits your windshield - it’s time to stop. I kid you not!
anyone know if those gadgets that instantly reseal a bag work?
I bought my mom the safety can opener and she can’t figure out how to use it, and I have to admit it isn’t as easy as the old fashioned kind.
However, I love shopping at “As seen on t.v.” stores!!!
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman
Thread drift, I know, but I have to ask. What the snarf is a Bass-O-Matic? I have to imagine that it’s an SNL skit or something, but, please, I must know. What happened?
Justin
The Bass-O-Matic is one of the funniest SNL skits of all time. Dan Ackroyd did a Ron Popiel impression. I have to run to a meeting so I’ll let someone else fill you in on the details.