Excerpted from this week’s News of the Weird online*:
Okay, aside from the obvious idiocy of the tourists…
Does anyone think “roughing up the bear” would make a good female equivalant to “slappin’ the big-nosed Rasta man”, “roughing up the suspect”, “polishing the dolphin”, etc.?
[sub]*URL will be invalid next week, and you’ll have to go into the archives after that.[/sub]
“Shaking hands with the unemployed” has always been my favourite.
Damn. Here I was all set to make a joke about this thread being another “Euphemisim for Masturbation” thread, and it is a thread about that.
I always like the one about the “little man in the canoe.”
I’ve always said there weren’t enough euphimisms for female masturbation. “Petting the kitty” has always been a fave, but I think you, Johnny L.A., have convinced me to switch to “roughing up the bear” 
That just doesn’t sound right, does it? What the hell, I’m posting it anyway! 
lauramarlane: Hey, any time I can help a woman with masturbation issues…
Issues?! I never said I had issues!
not to sound defensive or anything…
Nothing to do with wanking but…
What kind of wimpy bear gets “roughed up”?
Surely a bear (great big growly thing with claws) should be in the roughing up business?
Stupid lame bear.
It’s described as a yearling bear. That means it’s young, and fairly small. Which is probably why it’s going for a fawn. Also, they don’t mention what type of bear it was. I doubt it was a grizzly. It was probably a brown bear or a black bear. Those are smaller species of bear, and a young black bear would be about the size of a labrador retriever. Does that help you understand how an adult male (walking upright and looming over him) could frighten and even beat off a yearling bear? Same with a group of tourists pelting it with rocks.
snicker
<— Look at my name. Thats what my fiance’ calls me. 
Johnny LA that last post just about killed me !
I’ve always heard ,“pettin the poodle”, & “bushwacking”.
Hey, misstee. Here’s your female masturbation thread.
TOURISTS! They need to stay home!
Beyond that we use “pettin your pussy” and sometimes it actually refers to masturbation. ( we have 6 cats)
or theres
playin with your button
Flicking the bean?
The Book of Odd comes to the rescue once again. Sorry if these terms are crude…
From the 96 terms for masturbation in general, here are a few for female masturbation:
She-Bop
Strum Your Clitty
Stroke Yourself
Play With yourself
F_X
Roughing up the bear is a LOT more original than “Strum your Clitty”. I mean, good grief!
But it’s “discussing Uganda” compared to stroke/play with yourself.
Comiedien Jo Brand coined the term “Gusset typist” to refer to a rougher of bears
Personally I grasping the fawn over roughing the bear.
I dated a gal who referred to it as “Meet myself in the bathroom.”
Diddling
Double-clicking the mouse
Spending some quality alone time
Showering
Would roughing up the bear work for those who’re shaved? Seems to suggest a certain furriness somehow.