Roughing up the bear

Excerpted from this week’s News of the Weird online*:

Okay, aside from the obvious idiocy of the tourists…

Does anyone think “roughing up the bear” would make a good female equivalant to “slappin’ the big-nosed Rasta man”, “roughing up the suspect”, “polishing the dolphin”, etc.?

[sub]*URL will be invalid next week, and you’ll have to go into the archives after that.[/sub]

“Shaking hands with the unemployed” has always been my favourite.

Damn. Here I was all set to make a joke about this thread being another “Euphemisim for Masturbation” thread, and it is a thread about that.

I always like the one about the “little man in the canoe.”

I’ve always said there weren’t enough euphimisms for female masturbation. “Petting the kitty” has always been a fave, but I think you, Johnny L.A., have convinced me to switch to “roughing up the bear” :slight_smile:

That just doesn’t sound right, does it? What the hell, I’m posting it anyway! :smiley:

lauramarlane: Hey, any time I can help a woman with masturbation issues… :smiley:

Issues?! I never said I had issues!

not to sound defensive or anything…


Nothing to do with wanking but…

What kind of wimpy bear gets “roughed up”?

Surely a bear (great big growly thing with claws) should be in the roughing up business?

Stupid lame bear.

It’s described as a yearling bear. That means it’s young, and fairly small. Which is probably why it’s going for a fawn. Also, they don’t mention what type of bear it was. I doubt it was a grizzly. It was probably a brown bear or a black bear. Those are smaller species of bear, and a young black bear would be about the size of a labrador retriever. Does that help you understand how an adult male (walking upright and looming over him) could frighten and even beat off a yearling bear? Same with a group of tourists pelting it with rocks.

snicker :smiley:

<— Look at my name. Thats what my fiance’ calls me. :stuck_out_tongue:

Johnny LA that last post just about killed me ! :smiley:

I’ve always heard ,“pettin the poodle”, & “bushwacking”.

Hey, misstee. Here’s your female masturbation thread. :smiley:

TOURISTS! They need to stay home!

Beyond that we use “pettin your pussy” and sometimes it actually refers to masturbation.:smiley: ( we have 6 cats)
or theres
playin with your button

Flicking the bean?

The Book of Odd comes to the rescue once again. :wink: Sorry if these terms are crude…

From the 96 terms for masturbation in general, here are a few for female masturbation:

Strum Your Clitty
Stroke Yourself
Play With yourself


Roughing up the bear is a LOT more original than “Strum your Clitty”. I mean, good grief!:smiley:

But it’s “discussing Uganda” compared to stroke/play with yourself.

Comiedien Jo Brand coined the term “Gusset typist” to refer to a rougher of bears

Personally I grasping the fawn over roughing the bear.

I dated a gal who referred to it as “Meet myself in the bathroom.”

Double-clicking the mouse
Spending some quality alone time

Would roughing up the bear work for those who’re shaved? Seems to suggest a certain furriness somehow.