Driving was so much less borin’ before those stupid open container laws. But you can’t get a buzz on anymore while you make your way home, and that’s a damn shame. I could use a beer or two head start, rather waitin’ 'till dinner. Talk radio ain’t so bad, but they can’t curse like you know they want to. Who talks for more than 10 minutes without letting loose with a hearty ‘motherfucker’? No one, that’s who. It’s unnatural.
But there is still high entertainment on the road, you just have to look for it. Don’t let the boredom get you down. If ya are like me, riding your brake and tailgating the cutie in front of you can only hold your interest for so long. But just when you are about to get some shut-eye, the road provides. Up there on the right… now that’s what I’m talking about! A car pulled off to the side. What’s he out of gas? Can’t tell, so we’ll just have to slow down and take a gander. Heh, sucks to be that guy. Serves ‘em right for buyin’ that crap foreign car. Don’t much feel like getting out to help, “Hey, buddy, I’ll call Japan for ya when I get home.” Heh.
Well, that was fun, but fun on the road is always so fleeting. Oh, Oh! Up ahead! This must be the main event. It’s on the opposite side, so I better pull over to the left. Yeah, that’s the stuff! A three car accident; but the inconsiderate bastards are over on the far shoulder. Hey, you! Officer! I only got a few minutes here, would you mind wheeling the gurneys by me, I can’t see how bashed up those jokers are. Shame ‘bout that Iroc, but if the driver’s a goner, I’ll take ‘er.
Can you hear me? Frickin’ A. Thanks for nothing. I’m just gonna to have to sit her until I see some blood and guts. Hey, quit beeping back there! You’ll get your chance to see in a few minutes. Wait yer turn. Oh, man, what happened to that guy’s face? Cool. Open container law or not, I’m gonna stop up here and grab a sixer. That was just too cool not to follow up with a frosty one. See ya’ll tomorrow afternoon.